What was it that prompted your first indiscretion?
 

Hi Bros and Sistas,

I am asking this question as I increasingly find my self at the moral crossroads :(

Of course, I am not asking for support in favour, as such. Rather, I am looking to try and understand my feelings so that I can learn to control it (or decide to disregard it, whichever applies).

What was it that prompted your first indiscretion, especially for married forumers who did not used to "stray"? And did the indiscretions continue?

Was it due mainly to lust? That it was a sexless marriage? Or smply that you are not getting enough?

Is it due more to the search for that elusive feeling of (first) love that has been run into the ground by the monotony and riguours of daily (married) life?

Appreciate all your inputs and thanks in advance!

Re: What was it that prompted your first indiscretion?
 

Mostly the last made more burdensome by silly quarrels over petty issues ( sigh )....but having affairs altho emotionally more satisfying than paid commercial sex is very trying and destabilising on normal life. As most bros have said, better to faf...

Re: What was it that prompted your first indiscretion?
 

if it is due to that "elusive feeling...", then there may be a price to pay, for married man. if it is due to lust, then welcome aboard.

bro it is best if you can let us know a bit of your background or scenario so we can see where you're coming from.

Re: What was it that prompted your first indiscretion?
 

I only happens when you let your dick do the thinking...;)

Re: What was it that prompted your first indiscretion?
 

Tot it's most of the time most of the guys just like to relax & let their dick do the thinking :p Aren't u???

Re: What was it that prompted your first indiscretion?
 

We are just humans, made out of flesh and blood.
The reasons will varies as our backgrounds, interests, status, etc. are all different.
But basically it voice down to the same reason...animal instinct.

Re: What was it that prompted your first indiscretion?
 

Spot-on! I think the most damaging blow comes when you thought that someone understood you only for that belief to be shattered by some petty issues. Of course petty to me may be paramount to her but that adds to the misunderstood part, doesn't it?

I must openly admit that I have never been unfaithful in action, i.e. I have never succumbed to temptation or lust by seeking it outside of our relationship even though I am a very "hungry" man.
This is why you will not find field reports from me. I surf this forum mostly to read and share what little experience I have from my previous relationships with fellow forumers who ask for advice.

That said, it is becoming very frustrating to try and nurture what's left of our married lives. Sex is limited (although not as bad as what some other bros here) and whenever we make out, I get the nagging feeling that I pleasure her more than she tries to pleasure me. For example, I will do whatever it takes to try and help her reach orgasm, however tiring or even if I dislike it. She, on the other hand, gives me the feeling that she's just going through the motions before I finish myself off (using her). Nothing new, nothing sexciting. No willingness to try anything new (I'm not talking about extreme stuff like swinging or orgy). And that usual feeling of being left wanting... so much so that where I could hump like a rabbit for multiple times a day, now, I don't really even look forward to it anymore.

Sighz...

Re: What was it that prompted your first indiscretion?
 

Re: What was it that prompted your first indiscretion?
 

maybe too much money.. haiz.. never let have men too much honey.. :o

Re: What was it that prompted your first indiscretion?
 

sex has its highs and lows. sometimes the husband or the wife want to bonk 2 or 3 times a week, sometimes only once in 3 weeks and so forth. nobody can help you with how to improve the bed action, you have to work it out with your wife becos only you know (or can find out) whats going on with her. the one at home, no matter what, still must service.

have a go with paid sex, go try a few, maybe you'll like it or maybe you'll swear never to bonk prostitutes again.

a gf whom you meet every 2 or 3 days for sex is totally unlike a wife who sleeps beside you every night. how many times we would tell our wives: "hello, can you just sleep your side of the bed, i'm gonna roll off here." then my wife will say... oops... i mean, our wives will say: "ya, no urge so dont need me hor" :D

Re: What was it that prompted your first indiscretion?
 

Reminds me of the duracell rabbit. But at least you have an avenue for sex. Single-without-girlfriend guys like us will have to find FL to release our sexual urge. At times I feel worse off when thinking about the money spent every month for commercial sex. :D

Re: What was it that prompted your first indiscretion?
 

the curve of a young sexy ol prompted my first indiscretion...:D :p

Re: What was it that prompted your first indiscretion?
 

My first few times were prompted by feelings of "love" for the other party... until I got them in the sack and realized that it was more lust than love.

These days I'm more pragmatic and have conditioned myself to think that any love-like feelings are actually the prelude to lust.

Re: What was it that prompted your first indiscretion?
 

Hi dionysusex,

I have many friends who stray (men & women) and the one and only reason is that they are not getting satisfaction from their lifes EMOTIONALLY.

Some here may say that they started to stray as their partners have changed or any other reason but ultimately, they are not getting the emotional connection.

I mean, if your partner is gives you what you need emotionally, you do not have the need or urge to do with someone else...Even more so if you are married... :)

A woman's point of view..

Cheers / Tissue

Re: What was it that prompted your first indiscretion?
 

Thank you, Tissue for your input.

Indeed, I feel the same way. Hence, I have never found it necessary to secumb to lust in the arms of WLs.

It is hard to define change. Who are we to say that we ourselves have not changed over time?

Just like what someone else mentioned (in other forums) about KTV girls clamouring after LV, Cartier, Chanel, etc to fill the void inside them created by the departure of dignity everytime they step into their places of work.

Does (extra-maritial) indiscretion fill this vacuum deprived of its emotional link? Ca anyone comment? Are we incomplete persons in this aspect?

It should not be solely in the instance of married persons and should apply to the legally singles (but attached with bf/gf) as well.