A Farang's trip to Thailand

Originally Posted by easyeasy

bro indecisive, very nice writing, hope you continue more. if you dun mind I would also like you to briefly share your marriage life story with me

thank you my dear friend... it would be my pleasure to do so... but maybe via PM? I will try to share a bit of it in the course of my story...

and i have no idea why i got deducted 3 pts so i guess its back to working hard to earn them back?

[warhero]

Bro Indecisive,

I've enjoyed reading your writings and looking forward to more of it. Do keep it up

I wish I could follow your farang lifestyle in BKK. I am near to divorcing my 15 years wife and starting my life afresh. Do share your insights into how you cope with the post-breakaway period.

I follow a herd to tourists to what I assume is the Grand Palace. A young man in a shirt and tie, spotting me from the gate rushes towards me.
"Hello sah, you need help?"
"Yes, I want to go to the Grand Palace and Wat Pra Keo."
"Grand Palace closed until 2:30 for ceremony."
"Oh, what about Wat Pra Keo?"
"Same same. Wat and palace together."
A haggard old man joins us as I ponder how to kill an hour and a half. The kid explains, "This man take you tour other temples, many temples to see not just Wat Pra Keo. See Wat Indara Vihan Lucang Pho To. World's largest standing Buddha, thirty two meter, you want to go?
I like the idea of seeing some sights off the guidebook's tourist red line. Anyone can see the Grand Palace but how many get to see Wat Indara whatever he said? "What about Wat Saket?"
"No problem, he take you Wat Saket too." He points to the curb. "You go with him tuk-tuk."
"How much?"
"For you sah, forty baht."
What a deal? It cost me ten times that to come here. I climbed eagerly onto the thinly padded bench as the tuk-tuk started.

The temple is about the size of a detached garage. Small pieces of reflective glass and porcelain trim the windows and a gracefully curved tile roof caps its white plaster walls. Pretty, in a country-church kind of way. The world's largest standing Buddha towers over the courtyard behind. It might have been impressive if it was truly standing, but there were support beams on either side giving it a portable amusement park quality. No wonder it's not on the guidebook's red line tour.
As I sit in the shade, an Asian man in a three piece suit, approached me. With a slight British accent he says, "Do you need any help, sir?"
"No, I'm fine."
"Very good, sir. My name is Min"
"Hello Min, I'm Jon."
"A pleasure to meet you, Mister Jon. What brings you to Bangkok?"
"Vacation."
"You are a lucky man. I am always working when I come here."
"What kind of work do you do?"
"I'm a jewelery exporter. I buy all my gemstones in Bangkok, the best market in the world, especially this week?"
"Why this week?"
"The Thai government lowered the tariffs, so you can export gemstones without taxes, but only this week."
"That sounds like a good deal for you."
"It is. I'm surprised more people don't take advantage of it."
"How would they do that?"
"Buy low, sell high, of course. Basic business. Here, you take card me, you want buy something, you come see me. Big sale today, diamond, ruby, gold..."
As he leaves, the tuk-tuk driver comes to me and asks, "Where, sah?"
"Lets go to Wat Saket."
The driver nods and we move on, but at the next red light he asks "You want to see suit factory?'
"Not really."
"Big factory, make Armani suits, not open to public, only this week, you want look?"
"Isn't Armani made in Italy?"
"Made in Bangkok."
I wonder if its kind of a sweatshop. "Okay, lets go." He snakes through a labyrinth of back alleys and stops in front of the Mr. Elegant Tailor Shop. I say, "This isn't a factory."
"Take a look sah, no have to buy, just look."
"But I don't want a suit."
He squats on the sidewalk and light a cigarette. "Five minutes, sah, just look no have to buy,sah."
I'm not even mildly interested but steps in anyway. An Indian tailor greets me warmly, "Hello, sir, welcome, welcome. We be withing you shortly."
"That's okay, I'm not."
He yells into the back room in Hindi. A young man appears, scoops up a binder and thrusts it into my hands. "We be making very fine suit for you, sir."
"I don't need a suit."
"Please be looking sir, you will see many fine styles." As i flipped through the binder, he starts measuring me, and I say "I'm just looking."
He motions to the wall of fabrics,"Be looking at our fine materials,sir."
I scan the wall of deep blues and subtle grays. "Very good choice, sir," he says as I pause upon a sky blue piece,"please be choosing a lining material."
"I'm not buying a..."
"We be making very fine suit for you. Two for the price of one and two shirts free." I have enough suits in my closet that I don't even touch. I don't care how good the deal is. I walk for the door as he chases, "Sir, Sir, you needing to be choosing a lining..."

[yinyang]

Hmmmm, diff perspective with promise of better things to come. But my honest to goodness opinion (since you asked, no offence).. go easy on that travelogue bit. Some samsters here have short span of attention, if you get my drift..

Look forward to your watering holes + puyings part....

My driver is only halfway through his cigarette. He points to the business card Min gave me, in my pocket and asks,"Where we go now, sah?"
I ignore the implied suggestion and say,"Wat Saket."
I was thinking it was good to be mobile again when he stops and turns around. "You want to look at jewel, sah?
"No."
"Only look, no have to buy,sah?"
"I don't want to look at jewels."
"Only five minutes, sah, then Wat Saket."
"I'm not interested."
"Government store, sah, very good price. You buy here, sell big money later."
I wish he weren't so damn cheerful about it so I could get mad at him but I'd rather waster five minutes than continue this inane conversation. "Alright, five minutes, then Wat Saket. No stops after this."
"No more stops, sah."
He drives around the block to a warehouse-the Royal Export Center. Two farangs in tailored suits step out. One says,"You're too late. We bought everything."
"That's okay. I'm just looking."
"You're not dealer? I'm surprised they'll even let you in here."
The other chimes in,"Don't listen to him, its open to the public all week. Its the last day though."
"I'm not planning to buy anything anyway."
"At these prices you'd be crazy not to. You could pay for your whole trip."
"How's that?"
"Buy low, sell high, simple as that."
That sounded familiar. As I walked through the tinted glass, I was greeted by a well dressed Thai lady. She wais me by pressing her palms together and bowing deeply. This is the first wai I've receieved and it made me feel like a king receiving it from her. She was a real angel, early twenties, shiny straight black hair, and the kind of smile that rarely hears no. "What's your name,sah?"
"I'm Jon."
"My pleasure to meet you, Mistah Jon. My name is Soonee. You married, Mistah Jon?"
"Yes."
Why the hell did I say that? I am still legally married, but no one is waiting for me at home, aware of where I am, or even cares. But I can't explain that now to my sales-angel. I should have lied. "Let me show you earrings for your wife, Mistah Jon." Great, now I'm pretending to shop for an imaginary wife to impress my imaginary girlfriend. "These rubies very beautiful."
"Yes they are."
"Only five thousand dollars."
Only five thousand? I contain my shock as Soonne asks"How much you want to spend for your wife?" The truth is, nothing.She continues onto different jewelery as I inch towards the door.
"She likes gold?"
"Pearls?"
"Silver?"
No,no and no. The closer I get to the door the lower the price gets. I started off with ruby earrings and now I'm down to twenty dollar sterling. I'm tempted to buy one just to please her, but I don't see how buying something cheap is going to get me a date. I make a move for the door. "Thank you, Soonee."
Her lips quiver. "You, you, you not buy something?" She's on the verge of phony tears or a real tantrum. An older woman lays a guilt trap on me with the click of her tongue and I'm out.

After another block later, and the driver turns to me again. "You like look at carpet, sah?"
"What? You said no more stops."
"Only five minutes, sah, just look."
"I do not want a carpet, I do not want any more stops."
"Just look, sah, not buy."
"I can't believe this guy. "Why do you want me to look at carpet?"
"Beautiful carpet sah."
"Whatever, but why do you want me to look?"
"They give me gas money. I can feed wife, feed baby."
I get it now. All these stores pay him a commission for each sucker he delivers. He looks at me despondently, like a forty year old UNICEF poster child. "Just five minute,sah. Help feed family. Good for me, good for you."
First I was king of the river, then a big shot diamond exporter,and now I'm Mother Theresa? I was feeling really pissed off but if I object, what am I gonna say? You're family can starve, because I'm too busy to look at carpets. "No more stops after this?"
"Yes sah."
"I mean it. NO MORE."
"No more sah. Thank you sah, just look..."
"I know, I know, not have to buy."

As I step into the shop, an Indian man walks briefly towards me. Before he can say a word, I blurt out, "I'm not buying anything."
"Of course, sir. You are not they type of man who makes decisions lightly." Great, now I have a carpet-selling psychologist to deal with. "Allow me to just show you some of our finest pieces." I don't respond but he starts unrolling one at my feet. "This is a very fine weave,sir. Surely a man of your high standards can recognize it."
I can't very well let on that I'm not one, can it? "Yes, its very nice."
"Do you own a carpet this magnificent?"
Aha! He blew it. "Yes I do"
"So, you know hot much enjoyment and pleasure comes from owning fine things."
"Yes."
"Surely a man of your means requires many carpets for your large home."
This guy is good, I need a new diversion. "My wife decorates the home."
"Certainly a man like you does not take orders from a woman."
"No, but I don't buy things for the home either."
"Of course, when you see something you want, you have the courage to act."
I'm in over my head. There's nothing I can say that they guy won't have an answer for. I turn and make a dash for the tuk-tuk.
"Wat Saket now, sah."
"I'll believe it when I see it."

Originally Posted by yinyang

Hmmmm, diff perspective with promise of better things to come. But my honest to goodness opinion (since you asked, no offence).. go easy on that travelogue bit. Some samsters here have short span of attention, if you get my drift..

Look forward to your watering holes + puyings part....

Sure thing, my friend. All this prelude to the rest of my sexciting trip, is to tease and entice more encouragement (and points) from the rest of the brothers here before I go onto the main course.

[machoman]

Originally Posted by indecisive

Sure thing, my friend. All this prelude to the rest of my sexciting trip, is to tease and entice more encouragement (and points) from the rest of the brothers here before I go onto the main course.

Great humourous writing, even if non-sexual so far.

Encouragement? Sure thing, bro.

Up u 4 pts.

Now, let's get to the real good sex stuff ok, Rooney boy?

Originally Posted by machoman

Now, let's get to the real good sex stuff ok, Rooney boy?

sure thing Mr Macho

Thank you for the encouragement poiints. For it, I'll drop by later again to start on my second day.

P.S. Where is the man running sideways through the airport gate going?
Bangkok!

As promised to Mr.Macho, rest of first day trip is cut and forwarded to the night...

The hotel security accosted me as I come through the hotel lobby. He grunts,"You life lady?" I answer,"Yes" and wonder why he wants to know.
"You like lady in room?"
"Well, I'm gonna try my best."
"Me get lady for you?"
"No, that's okay. I think I can get my own, but where's a good place to meet a lady?"
"You go Nana Plaza, Soi4."
"Okay, I'll try, but I need to sleep first."

*****

The telephone rings, first in my dream then on the bedside. I pick it up and hear,"You like a massage,sah?"
This is the weirdest morning-call I've ever received. "Uh, no. I'm sleeping."
"You sure, sah? Have lady,give massage number one, sah."
"What? No, nothank you. I'm sleeping."
"Sorry disturb you, sah."
Where the hell did he get the idea I wanted a massage? He sounded surprised when I said no. Mr. Security must have spread the word. A massage sounded tempting, but I don't want a random girl sent up to my room. With five guardian angels, I ought to be able to find at least one earthly companion. I get dressed and headed down. Mr.Security stops me in the lobby,"You not want lady?"
"I go to get one now."
He glances side to side then says,"I like whiskey."
That's a funny thing to say. Is he implying that I should bring him some whiskey if I want to bring a girl into the hotel? At least he thinks I can get one, a small price to pay for the vote of confidence. "Don't worry my friend, I'll take care of you."
The street is dark again, but now familiar. Loitering teens, sleeping dogs and curbside vendors. Among the bustling crowd are many odd couples: old men,fat men,ugly men, and a few relatively normal man, each with a beautiful young Thai woman at his side. They move through the crowd but separated from locals and tourists by an invisible barrier-insects in a jar.
Tourists milled around, shopping for bargains. I feel affinity for neither the odd-couples nor the tourists. I was once part of one group and quite possibly will soon be part of the other, filled with the anticipation of being escorted, and dread at joining the parade of the judged.


I step into a narrow lane leading to a neon cavern, a three storey horseshoe of noise and glitter. If Hell has a gate, it must look like this. And what better place to find a fallen angel? Women's voices call from all directions, "Hello, handsome man. Come inside please. Welcome,welcome." I keep my focus till I reach the central courtyard. On all sides noen signs flash with names like: Fantasia, Obsessions, Zombie and Bottoms Up.
Overwhelmed by choice, I decide not to decid. Onto a white plastic tube of an escalator, I felt like I'm in a giantic condom. Anticipation builds as I near the top, not in me but in the assembled crowd on top. I'm ejaculated into a frenzay of screaming girls, some dressed like cheerleaders, some in evening gowns, some in swimwear;but all in high heels and all vying for my attention. The rolse are reversed, I'm not the sperm but the egg.
They extol the virtues of their club, begging and pleading, pushing and pulling. I was starting to enjoy the attention lavished on me, something I had never experienced since my first birthday but the longer I delay, the louder they get. A cute girl in a Lycra mini-skirt says,"You come with me,yes?" I nodded and the competition sighs resignation.

She wraps her arm around my waist and I instictively did so too, my hand accidentally grazing her butt cheeks and lifting up her mini-skirt as it finds its way around her slender torso. She gave me a sly smile. I was brought to a small room with an elevated stage. Everything is read, the bar, seats and wall -everything except the floor, the glass ceiling and the silver poles that connect the, On stage, a dozen young numbile ladies dance to a techno beat, taking every chance to show off their shapely legs and ass, as well grinding against the poles. Another dozen dance on the glass ceiling, the view up their skirts obstructed. I felt a sudden tightness in my pants as my manhood awakened from months of hibernation, eager to find new meat.
My escort that brought me back from my fantasy with an onslaught of qustions. "What you name? Where you from? How long you stay?" I answer politely but without any effort to extend the conversation. She's cute, but suddenly she had less appeal to those on the dance floor (or ceiling) and I don't want to settle for one this early. She notes my lack of interst and says,"I go outside now."
"Okay, bye bye."

[TD0620G]

very well written, I like something that's different to the standard frs. Will up u when I recover.

Originally Posted by TD0620G

very well written, I like something that's different to the standard frs. Will up u when I recover.

Thank you Mr TD. I look forward to your encouragement
Now, as I continue to wait (and fish) for more of such encouragement, my next installment...

Enjoy, gentlemen

[eeemen]

Bros, any more space for me to pitch a tent? Cheers.............e

The song blends into the next, and a new lineup of girls take to the stage. I exchange silly grins with a girl on stage. She has muscular legs, a flat tummy, small firm breasts, and a broad birght smile. I felt my heart flutter instantly to her but she's up there and I'm down here. I was oogling her smooth calves as she curls it around the pole and she licks her lips, looking seductively at me. Just when I was getting engrossed and playing out a fantasy of what might happen next, a middle-aged woman plops a young woman next to me and slides her until we're shoulder to shoulder.
Taken aback, I said, "Well, hello there."
The girl smiles nervously and the older woman explains,"This Pie."
"Apple or Cherry?"
"Name not Apple , not Cherry. Her name Pie."
"Hello Pie."
She smiles again and looks away, so I turn to her patron and asks,"And who are you?"
"I mamasan, I here make sure you happy." Mamasan nods her head towards Pie and asks,"You like her?"
I can't really see what she looks like when she's so close, and I've already made some kind of connection with the girl on stage (well, no girl has every licked her lips at me). The feels more natural than someone forced on me. I say,"She's very quiet."
Mamasan says,"Fifteen hundred baht she go with you all night."
"Is that right?"
"She take good care of you for sure."
So it's as simple as that-thirty bucks for an instant girlfriend. Quite a deal, but somehow unappealing. I wanted to say no, but it feels unnatural, almost insulting. As if to say that this young woman's attention is not even worth a tank of gas. An answer is provided for me when the music changes and Pie excuses herself," I go dance now."

The girl on stage is nowhere in sight now. Not on stage, not on the ceiling, not at the bar, not even sitting on someone's lap. A group of Australians in striped rugby jerseys parade by with backslaps, liberal use of the word "oy" and sit themselves at the edge of the stage. A girl stands on the edge of the stage with spread legs, a red bandana tied to her head and nothing else. One of the Australians stands directly in front of her. I can't see his face because it's firmly planted between herself. As the team cheers him on, "Oy,oy,oy...", she holds a dilver pole to steady herself. The other girls look on in disbelief-as I do, as she trembles from a strong climax, her head tilted back and, moans and gasps escaping from her parted lips.

Bandana-girl pulls back and continues dancing. Her legs look weak, but she isn't finished with him yet. She places his beer bottle on the edge of the stage and lowers herself onto it. I watch on as the longneck disappears into her shaven vagina slowly, and she holds the Australian's head in the hands, tilting it upwards to her. She rises on a knee and the beer pours out of her vagina straight into the man's mouth. I shake my head and laugh. And I thought this sort of thing just happens in porn movies.

[jdi813]

looks good so far ... nice writting style

[easyeasy]

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