All you need to know about "Marriage/Divorce" under the SG Law

[Wet_Towel]

Originally Posted by Max77

Soon u'll feel the fresh air of freedom, cheer up

Pal, I feeling damn pak chay everyday.

Long story. I feel like dying everyday. I can drown myself in alcohol everyday

[KangTuo]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

seperated for 3 years already. wanting file divorce based on 3 years seperation and hope to clear it asap peacefully but the other party too demanding and wanted me left with nothing...

this women difficult to handle...

Originally Posted by Frankiestine

I was advised by lawyer that for adultery as a ground not so easy cos you must submit pictures of them actually caught in the act. Moreover the spouse can only file for divorce within six months of proof of adultery. After that they cannot use the same grounds to file not unless they have fresh evidence.

I just started my divorce process... dunno how long to wait to get it done and over but I tell my lawyer I want it the fastest possible way without contest.

1) 4 years passed, so I asked my lawyer to serve her a divorce paper in Aug based on 4 years separation.

2) My lawyer summited the Statement of Particulars to the court in Sep. (why took 1 month to do it )

3) Mid of this month, the defandant replied the divorce paper with a defence and counterclaim... she is to divorce me based on my aldutery and/or unreasonable behaviour (a long list of craps)

4) Today met up with my lawyer to discuss the counter claim. As I want to speed up the process, my lawyer tell me to accept the divorce base on adultery and at same time, he will ask the other party to accept my divorce paper as well. Both party bare own legal cost.

5) My lawyer advised that if she does not accept, at least I accept her divorce paper and there is a reason for divorce... this way I will have to bare her legal cost. During the trial (if any) or mediation court, the "adultery" stuff does not really have a significant impact on asset division. At most few %...never 10%.

[jadedragon]

Need all the samsters help,

Me and my exwife had a deed of separation 3 yrs ago with which assests go to who etc etc stated in by her lawyer. Now 3 yrs had pass and i recieved a lawyer from her new lawyer (she changed lawyer. i dont know why) asking me to sign a letter of consent for divorce. it was just a piece of paper whith stat i consent to the divorce, nothing else. After signing, i was told by the lawyer that she intend to claim for the proceeds from the sale of the home according to her contributions (which is against whats stated in the deed of separation as it is stated i will retain all proceeds from the sale), i refuse of course as i had given her the other things which on my side i only retain the proceeds of the home. Now this Bish want to contest against it.

Any samsters had come across such things themselves before? What are my chances of winning the case i.e getting her to keep to her side of the T&C of the separation as the deed of separation was drafted by her ex lawyer while on my side i do not have a lawyer. i went to the legal aid and was adv to wait for the letter from court to come before i approach them for lawyer to represent me again. ours is a short marriage of abt 2yrs + 3 yrs separation. i understand that the court will not really award her as its her lawyer who had draft up the deed and could have given professional adv while i am not represent by any lawyer then. therefore i would have a greater advantage over her.But because of the stupid women's chapter, she might get awarded to a certain percentage which i dont want as she already got her own deal of things. Secondly, if i really hire a lawyer, can i charge my lawyer fee to her as it was her who choose to contest the deed which i had no choice but to employ a lawyer for it. I really need some adv by samsters here. thanks in adv!

[Frankiestine]

Originally Posted by jadedragon

After signing, i was told by the lawyer that she intend to claim for the proceeds from the sale of the home according to her contributions (which is against whats stated in the deed of separation as it is stated i will retain all proceeds from the sale)

Bro was this given in writing? I think it will be harder for her to fight her case if she stated it in black and white. Not that she will be unsuccessful but probably she will get lower then what she wanted...after all the fucking family cock will definitely put the interest of those woman at heart....

My ex is now asking me to increase my monthly contribution as she said my daughter expenses has gone up. I am already paying total 750 for my daughter share and 150 for hers. And in between when my daughter needed certain extraordinary things like braces, I also fork out 2k as my share. Also when she went holiday with the mom, I gave her 500 as spending money. I think i might just set a bad precedent cos now my ex is thinking i am a cash cow again. Cos now she saying its school holidays and daughter needs extra spending money....

[jadedragon]

[QUOTE=Frankiestine;5356137]Bro was this given in writing? I think it will be harder for her to fight her case if she stated it in black and white. Not that she will be unsuccessful but probably she will get lower then what she wanted...after all the fucking family cock will definitely put the interest of those woman at heart....

Bro, this was written down in black and white inside the separation deed and its by her lawyer. mainly she got her car and i got the house. what she will have extra is i will pay her back her CPF contributions + interests.

I guess the car depreciate in value while the house raise in value which is common sense to everyone and now she want a share according to her percentage which is her cpf contributions vs my cpf contributions. i would say i contribute to 80% of that but i just dont want her to breach the agreement and whack another 20% of it from me which is like 30k. And the best thing i learned later is the separation deed is not a 100% legally binding. WTF! Not legally binding than wtf we sign that for? i would rather give it to the poor than giving her! And what i worried is the stupid women's chapter. and sillypore women always say both man and women are equals. in my eyes, sillypore treat women as superior while man as trash! got the stupid chapter to whack man when things go wrong!

any other bros have any advice?

[Big Sexy]

mate.. you can get the answer in this sticky..
should be in the first few pages..
check it out..

Originally Posted by jadedragon

Me and my exwife had a deed of separation 3 yrs ago with which assests go to who etc etc stated in by her lawyer. Now 3 yrs had pass and i recieved a lawyer from her new lawyer (she changed lawyer. i dont know why) asking me to sign a letter of consent for divorce.

[cereal-killer]

Originally Posted by WildatHeart

just finished my mediation court session recently..
a) after all the adminstrative and my lawyer briefly talk to me.. both me and her (not the lawyers) went in see the judge
b) obviously both side lawyers already had submitted some documents as the judge knows what each of us is asking for and our constraints..
c) the judge make certain her claim is rightly put across by her lawyer.. and throughout session ask from her many confirmation.. because she is asking for one lump sum of 100K (= 800 per month for kid) which obviously i will not have and monthly of 500 for her
d) I was asked to leave the room and left the judge to talk to her..
after that both side lawyer starts nego process without our presence..
e) at one stage I was fed up and tell my lawyer.. i will do the nego myself.. my lawyer say she will try her best first before i talk to her or her lawyer..
f) my lawyer keeps on asking me to increase my monthly payment from 400 to 800 but i insist NO. (because i am prepared to give the house to her wo cpf refund to me and kid) and i have to consider my rental after that and i dont have much cash..
g) at last, my lawyer "give up" then i start to talk to her lawyer in her presence and of course the presence of my lawyer
h) it seems to be a deadlock until i eventually say.. ok.. i will pay off the house then transfer to her and i will up my monthly to 500 (for kid only, nothing to her).

sigh.... the end is near.. (suddenly "MY WAY" rings in my mind) and i have to wait for "AJ" then "FJ" something like that.. and estimate whole proceeding over by Oct/E.

I started from Jan'10, that make teh whole proceeding bout 10 months.. i spend 2.5K for "package" but additional court session will have to be paid.. for this mediation session i have to pay additional 750.

I am documenting above as additional reference to enhance the completeness of info within this thread with a real example..

you should have stood your ground and insisted what you wanted, it MAY have been a different case altogether, and THEY may give up and agree to your demands.

It sounded like you wanted the quick way out, rage inside burning just by looking at her. Well, wats done is done.

Package for 2.5K is about right, it looks like the normal price by most lawyers, mine ke-tok me $7K and wanted 3K more,, wtf

[cereal-killer]

Originally Posted by jadedragon

Need all the samsters help,

Me and my exwife had a deed of separation 3 yrs ago with which assests go to who etc etc stated in by her lawyer. Now 3 yrs had pass and i recieved a lawyer from her new lawyer (she changed lawyer. i dont know why) asking me to sign a letter of consent for divorce. it was just a piece of paper whith stat i consent to the divorce, nothing else. After signing, i was told by the lawyer that she intend to claim for the proceeds from the sale of the home according to her contributions (which is against whats stated in the deed of separation as it is stated i will retain all proceeds from the sale), i refuse of course as i had given her the other things which on my side i only retain the proceeds of the home. Now this Bish want to contest against it.

Any samsters had come across such things themselves before? What are my chances of winning the case i.e getting her to keep to her side of the T&C of the separation as the deed of separation was drafted by her ex lawyer while on my side i do not have a lawyer. i went to the legal aid and was adv to wait for the letter from court to come before i approach them for lawyer to represent me again. ours is a short marriage of abt 2yrs + 3 yrs separation. i understand that the court will not really award her as its her lawyer who had draft up the deed and could have given professional adv while i am not represent by any lawyer then. therefore i would have a greater advantage over her.But because of the stupid women's chapter, she might get awarded to a certain percentage which i dont want as she already got her own deal of things. Secondly, if i really hire a lawyer, can i charge my lawyer fee to her as it was her who choose to contest the deed which i had no choice but to employ a lawyer for it. I really need some adv by samsters here. thanks in adv!

seek yr lawyer's opinion, deed of seperation was signed and should stand in court (irregardless of which lawyer she used). She signed and agreed to it back then and if the court throws your case out, then you can tell the judge that you'll come back 3 years later to contest it. Yr ex-wife is making a fool out the system.

[cereal-killer]

Originally Posted by Frankiestine

Bro was this given in writing? I think it will be harder for her to fight her case if she stated it in black and white. Not that she will be unsuccessful but probably she will get lower then what she wanted...after all the fucking family cock will definitely put the interest of those woman at heart....

My ex is now asking me to increase my monthly contribution as she said my daughter expenses has gone up. I am already paying total 750 for my daughter share and 150 for hers. And in between when my daughter needed certain extraordinary things like braces, I also fork out 2k as my share. Also when she went holiday with the mom, I gave her 500 as spending money. I think i might just set a bad precedent cos now my ex is thinking i am a cash cow again. Cos now she saying its school holidays and daughter needs extra spending money....

mine wanted to increase as well, i told her to file it thru lawyer and serve me. I've retuned her share of the contribution of HDB, including profit and took over her share, took a 2nd loan from HDB, gave another 40K CASH to her and YET she wants more couple of years later. Fly Kite bolls !!!

[Frankiestine]

Originally Posted by cereal-killer

mine wanted to increase as well, i told her to file it thru lawyer and serve me. I've retuned her share of the contribution of HDB, including profit and took over her share, took a 2nd loan from HDB, gave another 40K CASH to her and YET she wants more couple of years later. Fly Kite bolls !!!

I worse, she wanted to take over the flat, end up fucking judge made me surrender 50% of what I had paid for the flat to her. And CPF board chase after me to return back this portion of my 50%. So then I had already paid nearly 100K so effectively 50k of my hard earn CPF money went to her and I had to cough out 50K cash just to put back to CPF.

[Schenker]

Originally Posted by Frankiestine

I worse, she wanted to take over the flat, end up fucking judge made me surrender 50% of what I had paid for the flat to her. And CPF board chase after me to return back this portion of my 50%. So then I had already paid nearly 100K so effectively 50k of my hard earn CPF money went to her and I had to cough out 50K cash just to put back to CPF.

How are you lately, my bro Frankiestine.

[Frankiestine]

Originally Posted by Schenker

How are you lately, my bro Frankiestine.

Hi bro doing ok thanks, have not been cheonging regularly ever since I back to work force...but some times really cannot tahan just pop by GL for a quickie...what about you?

[Max77]

I'm playing 和事佬 for two divorcing couple-not tat i'm too free, but jus happened to bumped into it...

I've cut n paste some posts by bro here who r going thru divorce for them to read. Basically, for man, don't divorce is better. Lawyers gain most-almost all lawyers will 'encourage' u to divorce bcos if u don't, they eat west-north-wind already.

I strongly urge bro here who r seriously considering a divorce to think twice-unless it's the bitch who initiated it to gain monies. Surf the Internet, read books and article on how to save your marriages. Especially those tat got kids.

Studies has proved tat in this modern society, human being r more concern about their own enjoyment n r less tolerance towards sufferings.

Living in this world is all about accepting and enduring suffering. Even if divorce also won't end ur suffering.

For those bro who has already divorced, might wanna think back, if the amount of money out into the divorce were to be invested into the marriage, should be more worthwhile.

[Lawless21]

hi guys,

another month or two, before i get my 2nd divorce completed. i share my experience with you all.

first, for both cases, they got involved with a 3rd party. we dispense with the pity on me. guys who suffer the brunt now, as i did, feel better lookin at me. if i lived, you will survive. the only reason i lasted til now, was to prove to the ladies that without them, i can still, & have to, live a better life.

both cases, no kids were involved (the only good news of all bad ones).

first case, i hired a PI to obtain evidence. as many testified, it wasn't able to secure adultery. used unreasonable behaviour instead. had a flat, and used grant, so had to seat out 5 years. the confrontation started as i reached yr3 of marriage.

was dumb then, and hired a lawyer specializing in divorces from a reputable firm. my main objective was to reclaim the portion of money contributed by my dad.

the case went on for 2 plus years, as i sat out the MOP, and fought over the money. as expected, i lost the fight. judge pity me, and granted 55%, and costs on her. and a concluding note that my dad can sue her for the money back. by then, i spent about 20+k on legal bills.

what i did then, was to ask the property agent, to go negotiate with her. she was afraid my dad'd sue her, and we compromised: i'd sell the flat, and keep all proceeds (be it loss/gain). in return she won't be sued for my dad's amount. property agent got a lawyer to draft that undertaking for us.

indirectly, i got the money back. whatever that's available.

fast forward, case2. sad part was that no2 walked out after 1plus year into marriage. we haven't finish 3yrs min. she knew how i handled my prev case, and knew how to avoid getting herself into trouble. she covered her tracks, and it was harder to prove she was out with another guy. but i've enough info to ascertain.

i had to find another way out of this, after surviving my depression. i decided to cut loss. no PI, and no legal tussle. don't waste extra time via separation. we first sat out the minimum 3yrs period.

as the date approached, the nego began, in private. i allowed her to file the divorce case against me instead. under unreasonable behaviour. thinkin she had control of the situation, she offered to have her lawyer handle for both of us. in return, i've to pay half the legal costs.

i didn't agree, nor disagree. but i was clear to trash out all terms with her. no alimony was the first. then to deal with the legal costs issue. i wasn't going to pay half. but if i have to get her lawyer to help me out (save costs etc), i have to pay the lawyer some money.

my opening came when i contacted her lawyer, and she didn't know about serving both of us. which means my ex thought i'd be dumb enough to accept all her shit. i kicked a fuss with them. threatening to turn this into a long legal battle to prove her misdeeds. i rather spend money this way, than pay her half (of total 3k). i was able to secure my own lawyer at 2.5k, which means i won't pay the 1.5.

that did the trick. i offered $800 instead, for her lawyer to do my filing. her lawyer probably convinced her to accept the deal. the arrangement was set. she wasn't too happy with the final settlement. and i don't give a fuck.

another month or so before my final judgement should come, and i'd live as a divorcee again. but the burden is off. in a lighter manner.

all bros who fight the battles i fought, i advise you all to try solve the matter with your ex-spouse in private, and agree to terms, before bringing the lawyers in, to minimize time & costs. that's my experience.

no matter what, find creative/amicable ways to resolve. less headache and heartache. and walletache. bear in mind we're under the mercy of the women's charter.

and if those 2 assholes are around here, and read this, and know who i am, from my life story...

good luck to you. thank you for testing these women, and having them fail the big test big time, so my life won't be any more miserable. thank you for taking over my place, in worrying if they'd fail it again. and pray you'd have their trust & faith with you, since they can't even hold it with me. in good times and bad, in sickness and in health. may karma find you, and treat you well.

huat ah! 8)

[FireShark]

Hi Big Sexy

There are few question I would like to ask on behalf for my friend.

My friend intend to divorce and had 2 kids. My friends had been staying different room with his wife for at least 3 years plus and had not been making love with his wife since then. Both of them had not been in good communication since 2006 and recently my friend brought up the matter to me about divorce. There are several questions he asked me but I couldn't answer.
a) How long he need to wait before the full divorce completion? He agreed to pay alimony to his wife and children and also intend to give his 4room flat to his wife. This 4 room flat was bought by both of them but my friend had been contributing the CPF payment.

b) How much is the alimony need to pay monthly?

c) What is the cost for a divorce?