FB? FwB? NSA? Sex Partner?

[zacarie]

Originally Posted by 1stTR

Life is short, dun live in the past. live for the future.

Nice!

When u do tt, you will be a much happier person. y let the past bother u. take it as a lesson learnt. and hopefully nvr make tt mistake again.

Originally Posted by smartke

i will do it separately ok? ^_^

Haha. Thanks for it.
U all very shen1 ao4. Got no idea which is the right character for it. so wil just put in the hanyu. haha..

[KingEros]

Originally Posted by smartke

well, probably it's quite norm for guys to hv FB. wat i dun quite understand is gers to hv FB. dun get me wrong, it doesnt mean tat they cant hv. instead, wat the gers wanted to achieve at the end of the day?

The basis of guys having ECAs is always sexual gratification ... this part you already know.
For girls (married or otherwise) wanting ECAs, they are almost always seeking more than just sexual gratification:

1) I ever had a rich man wife who meets me up once a week for an entire afternoon in a 5-star hotel which she pays for ... besides the wild sex, she will insist on doing facials, manicure, pedicure & massage on me, plus her own home-cooked room-service meal of tonic soups etc.
From what I can see, she was in need of a man for her to sayang ... unfortunately, her husband (top management of a MNC) was always too busy with work to be around for her to shower such TLC.
I was at the right place at the right time ... our liaison ended afetr a year when her husband got posted to China & they chose to relocate.

2) I also had another liaison with a super curvaceous MILF ... she's a mother of 4 school-going children & also, (found out later that) a husband who was in jail for drug offences.
All she wanted from me was this ... on a regular basis, spend the weekend (aka Fri evening onwards until Sun afternoon) at her place as a father figure for her children - including teaching them their schoolwork & playing games with them ... & after the children are put to bed, I get to teach their mummy human biology & play with her the wildest games you can ever think of.
I gave up after a month ... just didn't feel it was morally right or emotionally fair to the 4 children.

Originally Posted by smartke

in fact, most gers tt i heard/known, r those tt hv no prob gettin themselves a bf. yet, they din. so it makes me wonder & makes me more curious abt their thots & views in such 'fb'/'fwb'/'nsa' r/ship.

In such cases, I can only say these ladies do not want to be responsible to any guys just becoz they got a few orgasms in exchange ... to me, it is a sign of sexual equality. Nothing too difficult to understand.

In extreme cases, I also know of girls who insist on extra-ordinary relationships:

1) the type who only has interests in other girls' properties ... usually when I tell them I'm a married man, their answer would be "that's what I like about you"

2) the type who grew up with a fear of marriage, thanks to their parents' failed marriage ... this is why they seek a relationship without a BF, as this is usually deemed to be a prelude to eventual matrimony. Some girls settle for lesbianism because of this emotional baggage too.

Originally Posted by zacarie

These terms are indeed important for not only married man but anyone getting into it. mind asking what u guys do when ur girl want to call it quits.. do u just let it go?

Darling, you are right about the "common understanding" being important for all who wishing to tread across to the dark side ... but in my humble opinion, the married ones have the most to lose, especially if there are innocent children involved.

Speaking for just myself ... yes, I just let it go - there is to be neither sense of possession nor egoistical supremacy attached to such ECA liaisons. Before you even start anything, the foundation must be strongly built on:
1) This liaison will not last for ever
2) This liaison must be taken as "best while it lasted"

Whether it's a FB, FwB or NSA, we are talking of a symbiotic relationship ... one that is mutually beneficial - ie, both parties must derive fulfilment from it, however incomprehensible the type of fulfilment may be ... & of course, I dun refer to sexual fulfilment only.

Originally Posted by zacarie

Have a qns. a lil off topic. say if ur gal after ending it. shared her experience like i did. Does it bother u? And if it does. what would u do?

I dunno if the materials are still "accessible" in the SBF archive ... but over the last decade, I've had more than a few liaisons with the girls who dared tread into the "once strictly chiong guys' domain" of SBF. Amongst these, 3 were more high-profile ... & they openly write FRs without spelling out personal details - I dun see anything wrong in that, even when they became now exclusive & the FRs started to include other SBF guys they slept with.

Maybe the comparisons are a bit skewed, as your case is about "spilling the beans" after the liaison was ended ... but I personally think your ex-lover only has the right to be upset with you if:
1) you disclose (or even hint) of his personal details
2) you sensationalise your FRs ... with little lies here & there, especially about his character
3) you miniaturise his sexual performance (even if it is the truth) ... after all, a man still wants face lah

Originally Posted by zacarie

i want a friend who can fulfil me sexually but at the same time give me respect. and being able to be there as a friend too when i need one. Not always thinking about sex. And we can have a decent meetup with no thoughts of sex which would be really nice. But if the friend took all lil movements frm me as a hint tt i am asking for sex. then i guess all he could think abt was sex.

From what I can see, what you want most is a friend ... if sex is there when you need to destress, that's all fine & good too.

Originally Posted by zacarie

So it's really not easy to find someone who can do tt.. And when a person do find one. they will be cherished deeply cause it is not easy to find one. esp after having a bad experience i think one wil be more wary of who they are are going with..

Darling, it is especially difficult here ... where the premise is FB or NSA first & foremost ... even if you find someone who self-profess to want a FwB, it's likely that the B is more uppercase than the F. Know what I mean?
Get a chastity lock first, then start looking for a friend ...

[KingEros]

Originally Posted by Apocalypse

Every girl looking for a "FB" has a yearning. It is the job of the guy to find out what that yearning is, and hit on that, and the sex is a natural response to that hit. Some girls yearn to have "someone to pamper them" , other just want "someone they can talk to". Others just want you to "listen to them". Its how you convince them that they are not just a piece of meat, but someone they can trust in order to explore further and more.

What you stated here seems to have a different meaning to me ... it appears to be the magic formula to get consented access into the girl's pussy.
Every girl has a "weakness" ... you hit the right button, they split their legs ... yes, it's as simple as that - unfortunately, too many guys (especially those associated with SBF) like to use: "I horny, you horny ... I fucking good too, so your place or mine?"

Obviously, I digressed ... what I wanted to say was this: the poor lady is saying she got hit (yes, the same "and hit on that") & then, the guy became a different person. This is all very common ... since most of the time, the guys just turn their body the other side & start to go to sleep, barely moments after bonking the brains out of their partner.
So, what you said should serve as a maxim the poor lady must not ever forget.

[Apocalypse]

Originally Posted by KingEros

What you stated here seems to have a different meaning to me ... it appears to be the magic formula to get consented access into the girl's pussy.
Every girl has a "weakness" ... you hit the right button, they split their legs ... yes, it's as simple as that - unfortunately, too many guys (especially those associated with SBF) like to use: "I horny, you horny ... I fucking good too, so your place or mine?"

Obviously, I digressed ... what I wanted to say was this: the poor lady is saying she got hit (yes, the same "and hit on that") & then, the guy became a different person. This is all very common ... since most of the time, the guys just turn their body the other side & start to go to sleep, barely moments after bonking the brains out of their partner.
So, what you said should serve as a maxim the poor lady must not ever forget.

all hail the king!

you got it right as to the magic formula. As to the poor girl, her job is keep him guessing, and keep him hunting, so that he has to motivate him to keep up the effort and come up with new creative ideas. the turning over and sleep, the cycle can be broken if you schedule 3hrs of sex before that important meeting, or that gym session with his buddies that he can't miss.

Obviously, if that happen from day 0, then he will remain a ONS and not a FB/FwB.

[Apocalypse]

Originally Posted by KingEros

[B][COLOR="RoyalBlue"]
From what I can see, what you want most is a friend ... if sex is there when you need to destress, that's all fine & good too.


Darling, it is especially difficult here ... where the premise is FB or NSA first & foremost ... even if you find someone who self-profess to want a FwB, it's likely that the B is more uppercase than the F. Know what I mean?
Get a chastity lock first, then start looking for a friend ...

Friend is a loose definition. the keyword is "respect" and "we can have a decent meetup with no thoughts of sex which would be really nice".

The modus operandi involves

-high intensity,
-lots of laughing,
-lots of listening to her past / his past
-lots of small little expressions
-if the opportunity exist, find ways to break conventions.
(For example, if she constantly talk about guys sending her home, sending her home will not make an impression. making her sweat buckets, breaking her heels and walking home will leave a mark.

If she will kiss every other guy, you don't kiss her. And let her wonder why this guy is different, why he never touch me or kiss me or ask me go hotel.)

The objective of the exercise is to let the girl feel like a little girl, and being lost in the high - intensity events, confused as to why she can't help but constantly think abt you, and smile silly at herself - the end result is that the girl will surrender the sex on her own without you asking or demanding.

[Reoxy]

Originally Posted by zacarie

So how? 要跟我去吗？

我ONZ你。请put time put place when it happens

I can be reached here: [email protected]

Originally Posted by smartke

"菩提本无树，明镜亦非台，本来无一物，何处惹尘埃"

万物皆空，万法皆空，四大皆空，五蕴皆空。人生本无常事，万事物都在变。
所谓，天有不测风云，月有阴晴圆缺。一切随缘.....

I only know this: 吃葡萄不吐葡萄皮，不吃葡萄倒吐葡萄皮。

Everybody pls carry on the serious discussions with this serious topic.

[smartke]

Originally Posted by cherrignon

Regardless a NSA, FB, FwB or Sex partner, common understanding and view of the parties involved must be aligned.

breaking up should not be a prob for those who have the right understanding. for those who don't: might end up as a psychotic stalking, family wrecking or even suicidal case.

and it does happen (from experience).

hi bro cherrignon, 1st of, i'm terribly sorry for accidentally left out ur post. my sincere apology for tat.

2ndly, yes, i agree wif u on the "common understanding" when it comes to FB / FwB / NSA r/ship. cos, when it does not, wat commonly happened, will b the psychotic stalking tat u hv mentioned.

Finally, i sincerely thk u for sharin ur views. if u hv more to share, pls feel free to share at any time. once again, thk u for sharin.

Originally Posted by goodpartner

IMHO, whatever you call them, it's all about exchanging sex for something; benefits in terms of sexitfaction and in the case of prostitutes, money.

.........................

.......... At the end of the day, it's sex trade.

bro goodpartner, thk u for sharin ur views.

all those terms hv 1 common thing: SEX! which i hv mentioned when i started tis thread. so yes, i do share the key word "sex".

as for "sex trade", it really depends on each individual how they define or look at it. when i look at it, it's bein translated into sex wif monetary transaction. but, probably some others may think otherwise.

anyway, believe each individual has diff exp on their FB / FwB / NSA r/ship. so, the "sex trade" may, or may not, applicable to everyone.

jus my humble opinion. :-)

Originally Posted by KingEros

The basis of guys having ECAs is always sexual gratification ... this part you already know.
For girls (married or otherwise) wanting ECAs, they are almost always seeking more than just sexual gratification

In extreme cases, I also know of girls who insist on extra-ordinary relationships:

1) the type who only has interests in other girls' properties ... usually when I tell them I'm a married man, their answer would be "that's what I like about you"

bro KE, i'm truely dumbfounded wif ur sexperience, oops... i mean, experience tat u had! ur sharin of experience has broaden my view in tis FB / FwB / NSA r/ship & i'm truely grateful.

hope more of others can share their views & experience too...

Originally Posted by Reoxy

Everybody pls carry on the serious discussions with this serious topic.

lolx... u hv bcome the MODERATOR of my thread... muahahahaha... :-p

but u also disturb disturb, not discussin anything on the topic ler... *MAD*

[zacarie]

Originally Posted by Reoxy

我ONZ你。请put time put place when it happens

I can be reached here: [email protected]



I only know this: 吃葡萄不吐葡萄皮，不吃葡萄倒吐葡萄皮。

Everybody pls carry on the serious discussions with this serious topic.

Email down. post 大大 here for u to see.
see u at tantric! Now! I have a good friend there. can 打五折 for u.
how.. 要去吗？

Aiyo. Again so shen ao... my chi ends at tt 大 there. haha.

[hickeybites]

A guy once told me this: that the distinction between FB & FwB, is something that only females would be concerned about -- and this distinction is a thin veneer to prevent ladies from feeling like a used tissue. Rather crudely put but I kinda agree... no offence to anyone ~ this is only my own thoughts.

Personally I can only bonk someone that I feel a connection with (not just physically!) but mentally & to an extent emotionally as well. My take would be that a friend is preferable - not only is there some level of attraction already since we click, but some trustworthiness is already established. And the benefits just happily kick in at the right time/ right place!
And yes - no commitments towards any "happily-ever-afters", respect towards each other as friends with communication beyond just sex-sex-sex, and the benefits stay within four walls!

At times I do soul-search & wonder... my current awareness & acceptance of myself having had FwB - should I see it as an evolution of my sexuality or an erosion of my earlier values? Seriously I don't know... I'm still wondering & it's a very personal question. Again just thinking out loud & with reference to myself...

[zacarie]

Originally Posted by KingEros

Maybe the comparisons are a bit skewed, as your case is about "spilling the beans" after the liaison was ended ... but I personally think your ex-lover only has the right to be upset with you if:
1) you disclose (or even hint) of his personal details
2) you sensationalise your FRs ... with little lies here & there, especially about his character
3) you miniaturise his sexual performance (even if it is the truth) ... after all, a man still wants face lah

Reading thru my posts.. i dont think i did any of that sort..

Enjoy reading those stories..

[smartke]

Originally Posted by hickeybites

A guy once told me this: that the distinction between FB & FwB, is something that only females would be concerned about -- and this distinction is a thin veneer to prevent ladies from feeling like a used tissue. Rather crudely put but I kinda agree... no offence to anyone ~ this is only my own thoughts.

Personally I can only bonk someone that I feel a connection with (not just physically!) but mentally & to an extent emotionally as well. My take would be that a friend is preferable - not only is there some level of attraction already since we click, but some trustworthiness is already established. And the benefits just happily kick in at the right time/ right place!
And yes - no commitments towards any "happily-ever-afters", respect towards each other as friends with communication beyond just sex-sex-sex, and the benefits stay within four walls!

At times I do soul-search & wonder... my current awareness & acceptance of myself having had FwB - should I see it as an evolution of my sexuality or an erosion of my earlier values? Seriously I don't know... I'm still wondering & it's a very personal question. Again just thinking out loud & with reference to myself...

bro hickeybites, thks for sharing ur views.

hv u heard of... 知彼知己百战不殆?

anyway, i come to realise tat i always like oth ppl las para, as i find it most meaningful cos its the summary/conclusion of wat he/she said. the key word here is "soul search".

seein so many ppl hv FB / FwB / NSA, sometimes i do ask myself... i'm not married, can i also hv 1, like wat oth also hv? also, wat if i hv a gf, can i manage the situation? etc... etc... etc...

well, all those r jus personal thots. & thot is always jus a thot. wanted to hv & to really hv 1, is totally diff. tats y, here i'm, creatin tis thread & probably askin the most stupid question tat i ever ask...

[bastardball]

Originally Posted by smartke

blend in? hmmm... more like, if we cant beat them, join them.


NSA (No String Attached) - quite similar to FB, a r/ship tat is non exclusive, w/o conditions, obligation & expectation in watever form.

.....any bros/sis care to share ur definition & views esp on FB & FwB? many thks...

Thanks for the enlightenment....I had no idea what is NSA...I thought it stands for National Space Agency

[smartke]

Originally Posted by bastardball

Thanks for the enlightenment....I had no idea what is NSA...I thought it stands for National Space Agency

i can come up better one... "No Sugar Added", "No Sex Allowed".

anyway, u hv any views or experience to share?

[hickeybites]

Originally Posted by smartke

bro hickeybites, thks for sharing ur views.

hv u heard of... 知彼知己百战不殆?

anyway, i come to realise tat i always like oth ppl las para, as i find it most meaningful cos its the summary/conclusion of wat he/she said. the key word here is "soul search".

seein so many ppl hv FB / FwB / NSA, sometimes i do ask myself... i'm not married, can i also hv 1, like wat oth also hv? also, wat if i hv a gf, can i manage the situation? etc... etc... etc...

well, all those r jus personal thots. & thot is always jus a thot. wanted to hv & to really hv 1, is totally diff. tats y, here i'm, creatin tis thread & probably askin the most stupid question tat i ever ask...

Nah... not a stupid question. When I first joined sbf, I also wondered whether there's such a need for all these terms ~ after all it's only between the 2 parties right? But when it came to my own turn and after the whole thing had wrapped up, I realized that it did make a bit of a difference. I would prefer to see that person(s) as FwB and not FB. If FB then I feel like I'm treating him no better than a dildo. Again I don't think men in general really care... but as a lady I prefer to treat my friend as a friend & not just some tool!

To an extent I agree with Reoxy; such terms do seem more relevant when one or both of the parties are either attached or married to someone else. If both parties are single, wouldn't they become more invested and the attempt to form a more "recognized" relationship be stronger?
When I say recognized it's like going out on the streets & holding hands, exhibiting all forms of PDA (public display of affection) -- doing all the things that couples do.
With my ex-FwB, we kept all "beneficial" activities strictly discreet. Otherwise he's really one of my good friends and thankfully remains so to this day (we're just friends now).

Maybe I'm old & turning archaic already... at times I do think that some youngsters use these terms as a form of bravado or trying to act 潇洒 (xiao1 sa3) -- as if emotions won't matter in the end... that's rather dangerous in my humble opinion.
Anyways bro smartke, I feel sometimes such things don't overthink. If you're single & there's a lovely single lady, just go for it! Whether we can manage the situation, who's to know at the end of the day right? (Erm, this 2c of mine only applies if you're single & she's single. Tread with much more caution for other scenarios! *wink*)

[smartke]

Originally Posted by hickeybites

Nah... not a stupid question. When I first joined sbf, I also wondered whether there's such a need for all these terms ~ after all it's only between the 2 parties right? But when it came to my own turn and after the whole thing had wrapped up, I realized that it did make a bit of a difference. I would prefer to see that person(s) as FwB and not FB. If FB then I feel like I'm treating him no better than a dildo. Again I don't think men in general really care... but as a lady I prefer to treat my friend as a friend & not just some tool!

To an extent I agree with Reoxy; such terms do seem more relevant when one or both of the parties are either attached or married to someone else. If both parties are single, wouldn't they become more invested and the attempt to form a more "recognized" relationship be stronger?
When I say recognized it's like going out on the streets & holding hands, exhibiting all forms of PDA (public display of affection) -- doing all the things that couples do.
With my ex-FwB, we kept all "beneficial" activities strictly discreet. Otherwise he's really one of my good friends and thankfully remains so to this day (we're just friends now).

Maybe I'm old & turning archaic already... at times I do think that some youngsters use these terms as a form of bravado or trying to act 潇洒 (xiao1 sa3) -- as if emotions won't matter in the end... that's rather dangerous in my humble opinion.
Anyways bro smartke, I feel sometimes such things don't overthink. If you're single & there's a lovely single lady, just go for it! Whether we can manage the situation, who's to know at the end of the day right? (Erm, this 2c of mine only applies if you're single & she's single. Tread with much more caution for other scenarios! *wink*)

sis hickeybites, 1st of all, my sincere apology for wrongly addressed u in my prev post. m really sorry abt tat...

2ndly, yes, i do believe many gers prefer FwB ovr FB. probably some guys as well. it's like.. try things out b4 gettin into a r/ship, or cohabited b4 gettin married, 婚前试婚 hun1 qian2 shi4 hun1... probably not a gd eg to use, but, tats wat i hv mentioned in my earlier post for FwB: a r/ship between frenship & serious r/ship. as emotional will b involved, there will b risk whereby.. if 1 party likes the oth party very much, but, the oth not; or probably not prepared. well, to each their own i guess...

3rdly, i like the way u put it for FB for ur case... man vs dildo. lolx... hmm... i really wonder how it is like. anyway, in a FB r/ship, i believe both party will hv 1 mutual understandin, which is purely SEX, nothin more; which i hv also mentioned in my earlier post.

talkin abt old, believe u r much better than tis poor single ugly overweight ah pek la... lolx... also, if there's a lovely single lady, i wun b here... tats y i said "thot is always jus a thot. wanted to hv & to really hv 1, is totally diff". now, i'm jus another disposed 穷木讷老宅男!

anyway, m really glad to hv u shared ur views. at least, i got to know the oth party better... ^_^