Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

[KangTuo]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

My galfriend knowing that I am not able to legally marry her now, she asked me to have a customary wedding first as to fulfill her old parents wish. She wanted it by this year, but I told her my situation (kept from her for 3 years liao), so we agree to hold it in early 2010.

No need to have a resturant wedding in HCMC or her home town, Mekong. She request just to go through a customary and have a lunch in her house at Mekong. Cooking by family only.

She say she can wait for me to settle my divorce (3 or 4 years seperation) before legalizing the marriage with her.

What esle can i ask for, I have to agree to her proposal. and

All these issues pop up last week. Really had a dramatic week.

1) trying to settle divorce with my wife after 3 years.... but seems not fruitful. Alot T&C from her.

2) Recently got a gal who agree to be number 2 gal as she knows I got a 3years galfriend in VN. Number 2 just came back to sillypore. Thought that she is ok to be number 2 till I marry my galfriend. But she is pushing to be number 1 and only. Last week while I am with her out till very late, my galfriend called and I just pick up and talk to my galfriend infront of her. Number 2 started talking to let my galfriend know that I am with her. On hearing a women voice, my galfriend started crying and wanted me to go home. Probably i also fall too deep into the number 2 KC trap, I wanted a breakoff with my current galfriend.

Somehow our love is so strong that after calling for a break, quite immediately we feel that we cannot lose each other. I called her and talked very long... including the topic on marriage. I would say that it is true love that broght us back.

1 phrase I will always remember her saying:
"everytime you say you go out drink coffee with friends, I know you just don't want me to know you go out to play and hug gals. I kept quiet and tell you to call me when you reach home.This is because I love you so I got to bare the pain. BUT WHY THIS TIME YOU LET ME LISTEN TO A GAL SPEAKING OVER THE PHONE? IT IS REALLY HURTING"

My heart totally dropped... I disappointed her.

Partly happy that I got myself a good galfriend, a wifey material. Partly sad that I cannot prolong my cheonging dayz any longer.

3) Although number 2 says she she can leave in order to fulfill me and my galfriend wish. I still find it hard to break with her and I try to convince her to stay and keep everything as status quo. But it seems difficult to do so liao...
The KC trap I stepped in is too deep... she is the best gal on bed that I ever had and I wanted very much to keep her as my own only. Letting her go is also painful... unless I can find 1 better than her

[CuteBuns]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

All these issues pop up last week. Really had a dramatic week....got a gal who agree to be number 2 gal as she knows I got a 3years galfriend in VN. Number 2 just came back to sillypore. Thought that she is ok to be number 2 till I marry my galfriend. But she is pushing to be number 1 and only. Last week while I am with her out till very late, my galfriend called and I just pick up and talk to my galfriend infront of her. Number 2 started talking to let my galfriend know that I am with her. On hearing a women voice, my galfriend started crying and wanted me to go home. Probably i also fall too deep into the number 2 KC trap, I wanted a breakoff with my current galfriend.

Somehow our love is so strong that after calling for a break, quite immediately we feel that we cannot lose each other. I called her and talked very long... including the topic on marriage. I would say that it is true love that broght us back.

1 phrase I will always remember her saying:
"everytime you say you go out drink coffee with friends, I know you just don't want me to know you go out to play and hug gals. I kept quiet and tell you to call me when you reach home.This is because I love you so I got to bare the pain. BUT WHY THIS TIME YOU LET ME LISTEN TO A GAL SPEAKING OVER THE PHONE? IT IS REALLY HURTING"

My heart totally dropped... I disappointed her.

Partly happy that I got myself a good galfriend, a wifey material. Partly sad that I cannot prolong my cheonging dayz any longer.

3) Although number 2 says she she can leave in order to fulfill me and my galfriend wish. I still find it hard to break with her and I try to convince her to stay and keep everything as status quo. But it seems difficult to do so liao...
The KC trap I stepped in is too deep... she is the best gal on bed that I ever had and I wanted very much to keep her as my own only. Letting her go is also painful... unless I can find 1 better than her

happy for you that you found such a good viet gal. No need to be sad on not prolonging your cheong days. No one really stops cheonging! As long as you, as a husband to be, know how to go home everyday, that is good enough.

Recently, my 2 friends (they r husband and wife), the male friend told his wife (who was pregnant at that time) that he feel that he is not ready for marriage. He got rich during the past 2 years coz of his business (which his wife's family actually loaned him 1 mil to startup ) flourished. He got to know a girl in China and is so addicted to her coz of the KC and fantastic lovemaking. So in the end, a very good union was ruined. My 2 friends, they were one of the loving/best/compatible couples I have ever seen.

sorry for being long winded. But what I am trying to get at is your attraction to gal no 2. is temporary. Know that it is temp. When she becomes old, how good the lovemaking also like that. You will get bored with her ultimately. Your no. 1, based on your story, can tell she love u a lot.

Anyway, u can still play outside when u r married. Juz remember to bring your heart and body home after playing. Always remember which is the one going thru thick and thin with u.

[strikeking]

when i read bros' story, touching leh,sb (sillyspore babe) will never be a better wife compared to vb (vietnam babe) lor.....

that y i never stop ck(chicken king)... only vb give us happiness...

[mooncracker]

Originally Posted by CuteBuns

happy for you that you found such a good viet gal. No need to be sad on not prolonging your cheong days. No one really stops cheonging! As long as you, as a husband to be, know how to go home everyday, that is good enough.

Recently, my 2 friends (they r husband and wife), the male friend told his wife (who was pregnant at that time) that he feel that he is not ready for marriage. He got rich during the past 2 years coz of his business (which his wife's family actually loaned him 1 mil to startup ) flourished. He got to know a girl in China and is so addicted to her coz of the KC and fantastic lovemaking. So in the end, a very good union was ruined. My 2 friends, they were one of the loving/best/compatible couples I have ever seen.

sorry for being long winded. But what I am trying to get at is your attraction to gal no 2. is temporary. Know that it is temp. When she becomes old, how good the lovemaking also like that. You will get bored with her ultimately. Your no. 1, based on your story, can tell she love u a lot.

Anyway, u can still play outside when u r married. Juz remember to bring your heart and body home after playing. Always remember which is the one going thru thick and thin with u.

Hi KT
Been tracking this thread for a while and kept low profile but I think today I should voice out my view. I am totally agreed with Bro CuteBuns.
As a cheonging bubby with you for quite a while, I am in full support of your choice with gal no. 1. Both of you are really compatible!!

[icemandic]

I always ask myself what is Love, till date i am still unable to differentiate love from lust. I only know the one who loves you most will be probably put you in priority and hope you to be happy.

"remember which is the one going thru thick and thin with u"quote by cutebuns

Therefore treasure your find, Happy for u.

Originally Posted by CuteBuns

happy for you that you found such a good viet gal. No need to be sad on not prolonging your cheong days. No one really stops cheonging! As long as you, as a husband to be, know how to go home everyday, that is good enough.

Recently, my 2 friends (they r husband and wife), the male friend told his wife (who was pregnant at that time) that he feel that he is not ready for marriage. He got rich during the past 2 years coz of his business (which his wife's family actually loaned him 1 mil to startup ) flourished. He got to know a girl in China and is so addicted to her coz of the KC and fantastic lovemaking. So in the end, a very good union was ruined. My 2 friends, they were one of the loving/best/compatible couples I have ever seen.

sorry for being long winded. But what I am trying to get at is your attraction to gal no 2. is temporary. Know that it is temp. When she becomes old, how good the lovemaking also like that. You will get bored with her ultimately. Your no. 1, based on your story, can tell she love u a lot.

Anyway, u can still play outside when u r married. Juz remember to bring your heart and body home after playing. Always remember which is the one going thru thick and thin with u.

[leecs]

Originally Posted by icemandic

I always ask myself what is Love, till date i am still unable to differentiate love from lust. I only know the one who loves you most will be probably put you in priority and hope you to be happy.

"remember which is the one going thru thick and thin with u"quote by cutebuns

Therefore treasure your find, Happy for u.

Lets say the 2nd gal is able to go thick & thin with you & really loves you, then how? Be it Viet, PRC or SG gals...

[KangTuo]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

Although number 2 says she she can leave in order to fulfill me and my galfriend wish. I still find it hard to break with her and I try to convince her to stay and keep everything as status quo. But it seems difficult to do so liao...
The KC trap I stepped in is too deep... she is the best gal on bed that I ever had and I wanted very much to keep her as my own only. Letting her go is also painful... unless I can find 1 better than her

Originally Posted by CuteBuns

sorry for being long winded. But what I am trying to get at is your attraction to gal no 2. is temporary. Know that it is temp. When she becomes old, how good the lovemaking also like that. You will get bored with her ultimately. Your no. 1, based on your story, can tell she love u a lot.

It is not so much about lovemaking. Actually my 2nd gal is the kind of gal I have been looking for in terms of appearance, inner beauty. It is that we know each other at the wrong timing.

I am a guy, I am greedy, I know it is temporary.... just wanna prolong this 'fatal attraction' for awhile.

Originally Posted by leecs

Lets say the 2nd gal is able to go thick & thin with you & really loves you, then how? Be it Viet, PRC or SG gals...

Yes. For sure my 2nd one is also able to go thru thick and thin with me as well. She has proven it. She also do love me alot that is why she do not want to share me with another person.

Just like me, I also do not like to share her with anyone. If any guy is too good to her, I get jealous.

It is this jealousy on her part and my part that we had a dramatic week.

Originally Posted by mooncracker

As a cheonging bubby with you for quite a while, I am in full support of your choice with gal no. 1. Both of you are really compatible!!

As a cheonging buddy, when you wanna treat me a canon?

So you know I cheong and does not lack of gals for companion. I also don't care much if the gal xao nhieu nhieu as long as i get what I wanted.
But this time, I had put my heart in for number 2 as well.

Choosing between them as life long partner is an easy choice. But to let go any of them is difficult.

[leecs]

Kangtuo, I've been following your quests for quite some time.

3 years, man! its really a long wait. But you've visited her serveral times, so its still alright... Hope everything goes well for you & your mate...

I have a friend who has a VN gal. From the 2nd time the gal came to SG, she told my friend she's not going to work. My friends & I were like CCB!!! Told him to shake her away... Ain't worth it. Send $$$ to her when in VN, called her everyday to report strength, using his home phone, etc. Recently, my friend gave her $500 because she went to hospital, dont't know what illness, friend doesnt wana tell.

Told my friend if this gal really loves you, she will lessen your burden by working & not keep asking $$$ from you since she knows you owe credit card bills.

I dont know how to advice him anymore. Let him rot...

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by mooncracker

Hi KT
Been tracking this thread for a while and kept low profile but I think today I should voice out my view. I am totally agreed with Bro CuteBuns.
As a cheonging bubby with you for quite a while, I am in full support of your choice with gal no. 1. Both of you are really compatible!!

hahaha...great minds think alike...me too thinks that he should treasure no. 1 and thinks no. 2 is not good enough for him...cheers...

[KangTuo]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

hahaha...great minds think alike...me too thinks that he should treasure no. 1 and thinks no. 2 is not good enough for him...cheers...

bro, it is not that my no. 2 galfriend is not good enuff for me.
She is not a bad gal else I won't have fallen for her also. She has not done anything wrong towards me but I made her share me with another one. That is why she feel sad at times and wanna leave me. At this moment, i can't bear to let go... she also say i am greedy.

I would only say that we met at the wrong time.

It is a decision I need to make between them... again it is an easy decision but it require a strong heart to let go.

[Honey Boon]

No. 1 or 2, after the decision is made, you will still regret for not choosing the other one.. but that's life which is full of regret

why worry nhieu, who knows No. 3 is on the way

[SingViet]

i can understand KT's present situation. I was once in such a mess too, but mine is a bit more complicated as i was already officially married when No.2 came along and seems to fit me well too. The body, the character and every other thing seems to `fit my bill' well. If handle properly, this mess can turn out well and KT can be quite a KING. If not, it will be a total loss.

But one can never imagine having 2 viet gals at the same time, having 2 families at the same time. Its a strain on the resources and energy. Phew, i am seriously feeling the strain after a few years. Maybe its also because i feel i have responsibility to both ladies and its always quite tiring when you feel this way.

[KangTuo]

Originally Posted by Honey Boon

No. 1 or 2, after the decision is made, you will still regret for not choosing the other one.. but that's life which is full of regret

why worry nhieu, who knows No. 3 is on the way

yes.. life is full of regret but we still have to live on.
No. 2 decided not to give me anymore time... she decided to leave me.

There will no Number 3, 4, 5 etc as from now on... I don't have a strong heart to have such experience anymore.

Originally Posted by SingViet

If handle properly, this mess can turn out well and KT can be quite a KING. If not, it will be a total loss.

Maybe its also because i feel i have responsibility to both ladies and its always quite tiring when you feel this way.

It is really messy life for me for the pass few months.... and a near total loss.
Anyway decision has been made...

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

bro, it is not that my no. 2 galfriend is not good enuff for me.
She is not a bad gal else I won't have fallen for her also. She has not done anything wrong towards me but I made her share me with another one. That is why she feel sad at times and wanna leave me. At this moment, i can't bear to let go... she also say i am greedy.

I would only say that we met at the wrong time.

It is a decision I need to make between them... again it is an easy decision but it require a strong heart to let go.

hahaha...she knew you already had a galfriend and yet she wanted to share you...knowing this situation is wrong and still hang on...that is why she is not good enough for you...

Originally Posted by KangTuo

It is really messy life for me for the pass few months.... and a near total loss.
Anyway decision has been made...

I think you made the right decision...congratulations...

[jackbl]

Lets see how on this sentence

Originally Posted by KangTuo

There will no Number 3, 4, 5 etc as from now on... I don't have a strong heart to have such experience anymore.