Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner - Page 525

xyman · #**7861** 13-09-2010, 05:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xgrubx

Hi guys, i'm a newb here.. have been reading thru the postings for maybe past 2 years, here's my story and i'll like you masters to review it for me as i believe your point of view are most sceptical than what i see now, pretty blind now.

met her in a ktv 2 months back, got to know her better thru bringing her out for dinner, she was caught by ICA when she reported to them after she lost her passport, not long after, she bought her own ticket and went back home, she's only 18 and have been working in the KTV in vietnam for 3 months since her 18th birthday, not long after, i went to visit her, stayed at her place for a week, she wasnt working then and i felt obligated to give her some money, from there, she asked me if i can give her 5mil vnd everymonth, she told me she'll be working in a clothing manufacturing company which she claim to pay her 1.8mil a month, so i thought over and due to the fact i like to see her, i went back to vietnam last wednesday without letting her know, gave her a mega surprise... it was dissapointing, she said she was going to work, and i decided to check things out, 1st place i went was the KTV she used to work, spot on! saw her motorbike there, i went to the manager asked for a room and wanted to see her coming in with mamasan, too bad she was alarmed and she rushed home. =( i left hcmc on friday, now i'm not sure if everything was just a joke or what, why would she want me to stay with her family, why she lied about the fact that her sister and brother in law knows she work in a KTV, i don't understand why she will go in a rage when i tell her, stop working in a ktv, thing bout her is as what she says: my mother don't have a house, i want to buy a house for my mother, understand she did made some money but splurge it in disco with friends, even when i'm there, she has these taiwanese customers calling her out for dinner and things like that, she says when her mother gets the house, she want to marry me.. Brothers here, please advice as i am really on the edge. thanks.

she still young and has been working in ktv only for 3 months (i assume). the lure of easy money is very great and I personally dun think she will settle down so fast. unless you are very rich, i dun think so. also unless she has been working in ktv for many years and her family matters has all been settled and wishes to settle for a simple life.

and there will be other things after her mother get the house. believe me... and i think most of the bros here will agree.

naemlo · #**7862** 13-09-2010, 05:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xgrubx

Brothers here, please advice as i am really on the edge. thanks.

First of all, she needs money.... so without a carrot man for her, she has to find ways to earn money. The easiest fastest trade is to sell her body. All these gers always have a reason why they need money, "they have to feed the whole village of relatives."

If you are unwilling to support her village monthly then she works for it. If you willing to support her village then she might be able to shake leg at home.

So the question now, how much you can support? Today, she needs a bike, tmr her parents need money to start business, the next day, the farm needs another cow...... it will never end. If you can support all these, do you still have doubt on her cause you are not always by her side??? Are you the only carrot?? She likes you because of money? So 1 fine day, you have no money, will she still stick to you? Will her parents talk bad about you?? Will she goes back and sell her body again??? You are making yourself miserable.

To avoid all these shits.... why not look for love in other place?? Chances are will save you from problems, esp $$$.

Anyway end of the day you might be the lucky 1. Nobody knows. There is a famous quote in this forum when falling for a WL, "she is different from other WL."

I thought all these were discussed b4 in the forum???

I cheong KTVs and pubs for so long, I also always fall in love.

shysaint · #**7863** 13-09-2010, 07:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xgrubx

Brothers here, please advice as i am really on the edge. thanks.

1st of all, I can say that's LOVE ... that's why you are on the edge ...

Based on what you have writtern, Maybe the Best Advise is "Forget Her & Find New 1" ...

Ask you for $$$ is okie if she really need $$$ .... Got Customers call Bo Bianz if she needs to work for $$$ ....

For me I can't take is that when you go find her and she still go for work .... Cannot take it sia ...

Then since she lets you know she works at the KTV, why Run away ???

But I guessed you are NOT the only C*RR*T that she ask $$$ from else why got so many customers called her ...

Reading thru' the thread for infos, the truth is out there, find out more, spot check, distrust and etc ... all these are painful process you have to go thru' ...

Ask yourself if you can take it and bite the bullet knowing she works in KTV and etc and etc ???

We are here to share based on what you have written, the rest depends on yourself ....

my 2 Dong contribution.

Hurricane88 · #**7864** 13-09-2010, 07:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xgrubx

i went back to vietnam last wednesday without letting her know, gave her a mega surprise... it was dissapointing, she said she was going to work, and i decided to check things out, 1st place i went was the KTV she used to work, spot on! saw her motorbike there, i went to the manager asked for a room and wanted to see her coming in with mamasan, too bad she was alarmed and she rushed home. =( i left hcmc on friday, now i'm not sure if everything was

The key word...drop in surprise...you will see what you always dun see...

I think bro Naemlo had given you the comments...cut her while you are not KC too deep...of course you are the person who makes the decision...

SureScore · #**7865** 13-09-2010, 07:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by naemlo

First of all, she needs money.... so without a carrot man for her, she has to find ways to earn money. The easiest fastest trade is to sell her body. All these gers always have a reason why they need money, "they have to feed the whole village of relatives."

Well said bro Naemlo. Enough example here for his reference and yet he said he read this thread for 2 years.

xxxx4 · #**7866** 13-09-2010, 08:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xgrubx

i'm a newb here.. , pretty blind now.
she asked me if i can give her 5mil vnd everymonth,
why would she want me to stay with her family,
she want to marry me..
i am really on the edge. thanks.

My advice is to cut her loose Bro.

It's nothing about being a newb, being pretty blind or being really on the edge.

Dont be carried away by her saying going to marry you when her mother gets the house, etc etc.
As Bro Naemlo said, it never ends.
Asking for support of 5mil a month is already bad enough after knowing only for few months.

Letting you stay in her house for a week, is just normal for VN gals (not all of course). It is just for her convinience only.

May i ask you a direct question? have you bonk her yet?

If you did and enjoy it

and cannot let her go, then be speculative on your spending on her. As a guide $100-$150 for overnight.

Spend abit more is ok considering the feeling you have on her and she is always be with you while you are there.

There are many 18 SYT in VN, i bet as you become more & more familiar with VN soon you will be getting a new one

jf66312 · #**7867** 14-09-2010, 11:13 AM

dear bro xgrubx,

think most bros here have given their advice & open up your eyes to certain things that are blinding u at the moment because you are "in love" or "infatuated"..it is still too early to tell...

there are some things that you need to decide for yourself & weigh your options...

1) are u able to provide her for her needs?
2)if u are not able to provide her for her needs & she needs to work in KTV , are you able to take it? bear in mind the mental torture that you have to go thru.
3)she is very young at the age of 18...i believe she would want to enjoy life.based on your brief description of her , seems like she enjoys partying..are u sure she is able to settle down?
4) you are in Singapore while she is in VN , its long distance , u would not have control & knowledge of what she is doing. are you able to take it?

bro , by asking yourself these questions , i believe you should have an answer..

Your only chance of being with her is IF YOU ARE ABLE TO 感动 her with your sincerity..

but bear in mind , she is young & i believe her mind is not strong enough to withstand the worldy temptations...

so my advice is the same as most bros here, if you have a better choice, just leave her...there are too many uncertainties if you want to carry on with her...

hope you are able to decide what is best for you.. i believe all sbf bros here will help , support & give you advice...

cheers

RealEstateGuy · #**7868** 14-09-2010, 01:36 PM

Brother, this board is filled with stories like yours. To say yours is a statistical outlier ie she is not KCing you is an expensive proposition. You need to get back to reality. You are an advanced society SG trying to romance a third world Viet gal. When worlds collide like that the outcome is most likely difficult rather than good. Brother, get over it and move on.

chong_kng · #**7869** 16-09-2010, 09:44 PM

Hi bro,

I and my girl decide to ROM in dec. I will like to check a few things with all seasoned bros who ROM here:

1) I need to get a certified interpreter from the embassy as she dont understand english and little bit chinese. What is the process of obtaining a interpreter from the embassy?
How long does it take? What is the cost like?

2) During the Statutory declaration, any idea what kind of the questions will be asked and how to tackle them?

3) how long does the Statutory declaration take?

4) any important things to take note of?

Hoping to hear reply from all sincere bro.

Regards

shysaint · #**7870** 16-09-2010, 11:14 PM

Hi bro chong_kng,

Quote:

Originally Posted by chong_kng

1) I need to get a certified interpreter from the embassy as she don't understand english and little bit chinese. What is the process of obtaining a interpreter from the embassy?
How long does it take? What is the cost like?

R.O.M will need you to bring a certified interpreter by the court during declarartion and ROM.

PM me. I will give you the contact for the interpreter for your ROM. You just call her and made arrangement for the declarartion and ROM.

The cost is either $300 or $350, I can't remember.

Quote:

Originally Posted by chong_kng

2) During the Statutory declaration, any idea what kind of the questions will be asked and how to tackle them?

Declaration is to check and ensure your documents are correct and in order. Your interpreter will also need to be presence to certified that the documents are correct and in order.

If your are talking about questions, then it's is not the declarartion portion. It's the counselling session before declaration.

Both party will be counselled by the counsellor, the VN counsellor will speak to your gal in VN. The session last for about 10-15 mins.

Questions ask for you:

1. What you work in Singapore?
2. Where you live?
3. Who you live with?
4. How long do you and your wife-to-be know each other?
5. How do you and your wife-to-be communicate?
6. Any barriers ?

Questions ask for her:

1. What you work in Vietnam?
2. How long you come to Singapore?
3. Why you come Singapore?
4. Where you stay in Singapore?
5. How long do you and your husband-to-be know each other?
6. How do you and your husband-to-be communicate?
7. Any language barriers?

The rest forget it ... hahhaha pai sei ...

Anyway there is no right or wrong, any suspicious won't lead to NO marriage. Just a short counselling session for all couples getting married even for locals.

Quote:

Originally Posted by chong_kng

3) how long does the Statutory declaration take?

Process is about 10 - 15 mins.

Quote:

Originally Posted by chong_kng

4) any important things to take note of?

Go to ROM.gov.sg to understand how you can register for a marriage, the process is quite long and complicated if you don't understand.

1. For Indoor ROM - although the date of ROM is after 23 days and before 3 months, normally the available date for you to choose will exceed 3 - 4 months. So please plan and check carefully.

2. For External ROM - any date NO problem if you can obtain a solemniser however you still got to meet the clause "after 23 days and before 3 month".

jf66312 · #**7871** 17-09-2010, 09:41 AM

hi ,

just to add to bro shyshaint's reply ,

u will have 2 appts after booking ROM..

the interpreter will cost $150 each time so total u need to prepare $300...

the first time u go is for the short interview where both parties will also "songpa" on the info that u have given....

then the second is the actual ceremony...if it is done at ROM , they will assign their in-house official for your ROM..but if it is done outside the ROM building , u have to arrange your own but can check their in-house official schedule..

for the interpreter , u can ask bro shysaint or if not u can call up the VN embassy...they will provide the contact for you...

ALL THE BEST TO YOU BRO!!!

cheers

shysaint · #**7872** 17-09-2010, 10:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jf66312

the interpreter will cost $150 each time so total u need to prepare $300...

You can either pay her 50% per appointment or the Full amount during the Solemnization. SHe is a nice lady from Hanoi .

Quote:

Originally Posted by jf66312

the first time u go is for the short interview where both parties will also "songpa" on the info that u have given.......

That's the "Statutory Declaration"

Quote:

Originally Posted by jf66312

then the second is the actual ceremony...if it is done at ROM , they will assign their in-house official for your ROM..but if it is done outside the ROM building , u have to arrange your own but can check their in-house official schedule.......

That's the "Solemnization"

Quote:

Originally Posted by jf66312

for the interpreter , u can ask bro shysaint or if not u can call up the VN embassy...they will provide the contact for you...

The number I have was given by the VN embassy ...