Confession and failed marriage

[fendy]

Bro TS,

Try all out effort to reconcile with your wife,but if it doesnt work.
tell her to look after the kids and focus on increasing your income.

once you focus on work and your income increase, there's 2 ways to your solutions.

1. your wife will be watching you closely and if you dont do hanky panky, sure she'll come back to you

2. if your wife dont come back, just arrange to provide for your children , save some money for raining days and for the little extra , go and relax have fun, as we only live once

But most important, dont go into depression at this stage, look on a brighter side and face reality

[shoei]

Originally Posted by fendy

Bro TS,

Try all out effort to reconcile with your wife,but if it doesnt work.
tell her to look after the kids and focus on increasing your income.

once you focus on work and your income increase, there's 2 ways to your solutions.

1. your wife will be watching you closely and if you dont do hanky panky, sure she'll come back to you

2. if your wife dont come back, just arrange to provide for your children , save some money for raining days and for the little extra , go and relax have fun, as we only live once

But most important, dont go into depression at this stage, look on a brighter side and face reality

This is what i have been doing lately.

I mug at work and slog like hell at work. I sometimes feel like numbing myself and stop thinking about her. The bigger question that linger in my mind is how can i gain back a lost trust? Its super difficult. Neither has She been trying nor forgiven me. I read a lot from various help sites sharing that the wife must forgive in order for reconcilation to start.

Now she and me only talk in front of the kids. She seems to be on the phone 24/7 and communicating w other people. I truely love her but i have destroyed her love for me. I know not what to do even thou i know what i want.

oxymoron

[shoei]

Originally Posted by see see only

Ture Bro DYB ....


However TS do check with yourself first and make sure you are not asking her back because of a sudden lost and you are not used to it. Ask yourself honestly

And if you decided and did manage to win her heart back, do try to control the situation OR be ready to be control again, no regret

If not, win her back also useless and maybe this untold story may have more worse ending


Finally once you cleared yourself ..........

Dont 放弃

世上无难事 只怕有心人



Side track a bit, btw thks hero7 for your kind upz

Thank you bro for your advice. I see light from the words u shared.

Care to clarify what u meant when u say take control?

[shoei]

Originally Posted by sammyboyfor

Tell her she can have the kids.

You can make some new kids with your next wife.

What makes you say that? do we really always have to leave after creating a mess?

[JacqueMerlin]

Originally Posted by shoei

This is what i have been doing lately.

I mug at work and slog like hell at work. I sometimes feel like numbing myself and stop thinking about her. The bigger question that linger in my mind is how can i gain back a lost trust? Its super difficult. Neither has She been trying nor forgiven me. I read a lot from various help sites sharing that the wife must forgive in order for reconcilation to start.

Now she and me only talk in front of the kids. She seems to be on the phone 24/7 and communicating w other people. I truely love her but i have destroyed her love for me. I know not what to do even thou i know what i want.

oxymoron

That is a possible sign of her having an affair or potentially. Good luck. I will suggest you to give up any glimmer of hope and prepared to pay for your alimony. Since you live in Singapore, you as a man what's more with an affair caught. Move on with life. Don't continue your life with your wife anymore. Your kids will be the greatest victim.

[sammyboyfor]

Originally Posted by shoei

What makes you say that? do we really always have to leave after creating a mess?

Your equating what has happened to a pile of garbage. The analogy is flawed.

You're not leaving behind a mess which you have some sort of obligation to clean up. What you are leaving is a relationship that has been damaged beyond repair.

By walking away and starting afresh, you give her the chance to be happy with someone new too. She certainly isn't getting any joy from her relationship with you. If you care about her feelings, you'll do the right thing and set her free.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

This world is made up of 3 groups of humans thus 3 different ideologies

1st Group, everything = investment and self creation...creative self propelled individuals......know what they want, know how to get what they want, know how to face the music

2nd Group, mindless morons who goes where the wind blows....aka no self propelled direction, what they want is more due to peer pressure than self ACTUAL needs.....like what we term, one of the guys.
We all know someone who seems to ask opinions about almost everything under the sun, thus sometimes we feel these people have got no sense of self opinion.

3rd group, useless total external reliant losers, cannot self sustain, aka locusts, once they ravage a place, or have milked dry a cow, they will not nurture it back to health again and will just move on to the next greener pasture.
Typical WL ideology that's also totally applicable to a non WL be it male or female!

Very real world and we're all surrounded by such people in our everyday lives.
At the end of the day, that's Y society is made up of, the good, the bad & the ugly!
By these 3 groups, ponder for a minute, every choice has got different decisions, the one that's chosen, will determine the end result.
Wisdom is learnt by facing hardships and obstacles in life, not running away!
Keep running, at the end of your last breath, you've learnt shit!

[sammyboyfor]

Originally Posted by DO_YOU_BJ

1st Group, everything = investment and self creation...creative self propelled individuals......know what they want, know how to get what they want, know how to face the music

Investors spread their risks. Some of their ventures will reap big rewards. Some will fail miserably.

The most astute investors have the ability to judge which ventures to nurture, which ventures to take profit from and most importantly, which ventures will lead them to ruin if they don't CUT THEIR LOSSES AND WALK AWAY!

Nobody wins all the time... not even Warren Buffet.

This marriage is on the rocks with no hope of a happy ending. There is no point hanging on. The thread starter should face reality, cut his losses and start afresh.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Originally Posted by sammyboyfor

which ventures will lead them to ruin if they don't CUT THEIR LOSSES AND WALK AWAY!

Nobody wins all the time... not even Warren Buffet.

Here you contradict and agreed on wat i said.
If no investment was made, how to cut any losses and to walk away?
In TS's case, he has just decided to start his investment to win his marraige back....any prior to that, where he was unfaithful, has got nottin to do wif the investment.
Thus, in life, investments have to applied before one can reap any rewards or walk away from a failed investment.
From your statement and ideology, its clear you're not a leader of any kind other than the owner of this forum!
We've been through this more than once sammyboy.....you wanna start again for old time sake??????

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Wanna have baby fuck also must wait 10months.
But no guarantee preggers will have baby....can have miscarraige etc etc and many other complications
Wanna plant a fruit tree also must wait for the seed to bloom into a tree then bear fruit
But no guarantee this tree will bear fruit
Even if bear fruit, also no guarantee the fruit will be sweet and juicy
Time to come back to reality Sammydude!
Conclusion: Investments are all risks...and no guarantee invest will win!
Welcome to life!

[K9696]

Delete.. double post

[hugs]

Originally Posted by shoei

This is what i have been doing lately.

I mug at work and slog like hell at work. Its super difficult. Neither has She been trying nor forgiven me. I read a lot from various help sites sharing that the wife must forgive
. She seems to be on the phone 24/7 and communicating w other people.

TS,

maybe she is on phone 24/7 cos u r always at work instead of trying to spend time with her doing things n talking with her n making her feel u love her very much altho u keep saying it to us but u r not saying it n showing it to her?

besides, she felt u betrayed her so she doesnt feel it fair that she MUST forgive u or the need to even try. thats ur job buddy if u find her not forgiving u then its ur job to work ON her.

give up contact with outside world for the moment n concentrate on the most important woman of ur world now, i am sure u know nthg abt her after all these yrs in marriage becos when problem comes u cant find her weak spot. looks to me u r only beginning to know her now n u dont know how to make the first move, u need to wait for her to forgive u or for her to try b4 u know what to do next(aka respond). i dont know will she be happier with some new guy cos statistic showed 2nd marriage has higher divorce rate but i am begining to suspect she isnt very happy with u all along thats why she seem to want to totally cut u off now. thats why when some bro ask me what i think of husband who looks for wl/fl etc, is to always remember to be sweet to ur wife consistently n simultaneously. while spending time to know the other women, also must know ur own woman mah.

[K9696]

Originally Posted by sammyboyfor

Investors spread their risks. Some of their ventures will reap big rewards. Some will fail miserably.

The most astute investors have the ability to judge which ventures to nurture, which ventures to take profit from and most importantly, which ventures will lead them to ruin if they don't CUT THEIR LOSSES AND WALK AWAY!

Nobody wins all the time... not even Warren Buffet.

This marriage is on the rocks with no hope of a happy ending. There is no point hanging on. The thread starter should face reality, cut his losses and start afresh.

Originally Posted by DO_YOU_BJ

Here you contradict and agreed on wat i said.
If no investment was made, how to cut any losses and to walk away?
In TS's case, he has just decided to start his investment to win his marraige back....any prior to that, where he was unfaithful, has got nottin to do wif the investment.
Thus, in life, investments have to applied before one can reap any rewards or walk away from a failed investment.
From your statement and ideology, its clear you're not a leader of any kind other than the owner of this forum!
We've been through this more than once sammyboy.....you wanna start again for old time sake??????

Oh yes SammyBoss.. if TS has not made any investment, how to cut loss in the first place..

Without placing your bet on a Bacarat table, will you know you will lost in the first place - NO..
NO venture No gain

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Originally Posted by hugs

TS,

maybe she is on phone 24/7 cos u r always at work instead of trying to spend time with her doing things n talking with her n making her feel u love her very much altho u keep saying it to us but u r not saying it n showing it to her?

besides, she felt u betrayed her so she doesnt feel it fair that she MUST forgive u or the need to even try. thats ur job buddy if u find her not forgiving u then its ur job to work ON her.

give up contact with outside world for the moment n concentrate on the most important woman of ur world now, i am sure u know nthg abt her after all these yrs in marriage becos when problem comes u cant find her weak spot. looks to me u r only beginning to know her now n u dont know how to make the first move, u need to wait for her to forgive u or for her to try b4 u know what to do next(aka respond). i dont know will she be happier with some new guy cos statistic showed 2nd marriage has higher divorce rate but i am begining to suspect she isnt very happy with u all along thats why she seem to want to totally cut u off now. thats why when some bro ask me what i think of husband who looks for wl/fl etc, is to always remember to be sweet to ur wife consistently n simultaneously. while spending time to know the other women, also must know ur own woman mah.

Well said sis.
TS, dun just bury yourself in work to escape.
Work is work, family is family.
Now its more than ever important to be at home to be a good hubby and daddy!
You're walking on a very thin line, thread very cautiously.
Whatever you do, think carefully 1st on what the reactions will be...positive or negative, then execute or throw the whole idea out!

[sammyboyfor]

Originally Posted by DO_YOU_BJ

Here you contradict and agreed on wat i said.
If no investment was made, how to cut any losses and to walk away?
In TS's case, he has just decided to start his investment to win his marraige back....any prior to that, where he was unfaithful, has got nottin to do wif the investment.

Of course there was an investment. That's exactly what the act of getting married and starting a family is. The game didn't commence when he was unfaithful. It started from the day he decided to marry.

However, he didn't follow the rules of the matrimonial game and has lost heavily. There is no way he can win with the hand he currently holds. He should throw in the towel and walk away so he can nurse his wounds, reflect and recover.

Cutting losses can be painful but there are times when it is the right thing to do. By taking a long term view of life, he'll be able to put this relationship behind him and move on.