Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[Popiahhhhh]

Haha, good jokes guys, keep it coming

[ask4bj]

Great sharing of jokes here, thanks all!!

[Diligent369]

Nice jokes here!

[Owndays]

Thanks bro bigbirdbird for posting very good jokes!

[shanghaiguy]

Laughter is best medicine on Monday blues.

[novice]

Thanks bro bigbirdbird for posting very good jokes!

[XanaduMuse]

Fantastic jokes by bro bigbirdbird, hope to read more!

[yangtao]

Very good jokes thread, thanks

[Sanzerf]

Originally Posted by bigbirdbird

Jimmy‘s New Watch


Johnny was in the playground with his friend, Jimmy, when he noticed the brand new shiny watch Jimmy was wearing.

"Did you get that for your birthday?" he asked.

"Nope," Jimmy replied.

"Well, did you get it for Christmas then?" Johnny asked.

"Nope."

"You didn't steal it did you?"

"No," said Jimmy. "I went into Mom and Dad's bedroom the other night when they were having sex. Dad gave me his watch to get rid of me."

Johnny was extremely impressed with this idea, and extremely jealous of Jimmy's new watch. He vowed to get one for himself.

That night he waited outside his parents' room until he heard the unmistakable noises of lovemaking. Johnny swung the door wide open and boldly strode into the bedroom. His father, caught in mid-stroke, turned and asked him angrily, "What do you want now?"

"I wanna watch," Johnny replied.

"Well, stand in the corner and keep quiet then," said his father

Nice joke bro, thanks!!

[Lenky]

Originally Posted by shanghaiguy

Laughter is best medicine on Monday blues.

Very true bro

[35cents]

nice one bro!

Originally Posted by bigbirdbird

[MoeLanYong]

Thanks for sharing

[bigbirdbird]

A psychologist was about to finish his tour of duty in the jungle where he has spent years teaching the natives to be civilized and kind to each other when he realizes that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak English.

So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest. He points to a tree and says to the chief, "This is a tree."

The chief looks at the tree and grunts, "Tree."

The psychologist is pleased with the response. They walk a little further and he points to a rock and says, "This is a rock."

Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, "Rock."

The psychologist was really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears rustling in the bushes. As they peek over the top, they see a couple of natives in the midst of heavy sexual activity.

The psychologist is really flustered and quickly responds, "Man riding a bike."

The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blowgun and kills them both.

The psychologist goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and be kind to each other, so how could he kill these people in cold blood that way?

The chief replied, "My bike."

[lobangkingz]

Originally Posted by bigbirdbird

good one bro, please share more.

[bigbirdbird]

A sexually active woman tells her Plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because they had become too loose and floppy.

Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed.

Awakening from the anaesthesia after the surgery, she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the bed.

Outraged, she immediately calls in the doctor. "I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!"

The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality, and that the first rose was from him: "I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself."

"The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and understood because she had the same procedure done some time ago."

"And what about the third rose?" she asked.

"That's from a man John Defoe upstairs in the burns unit.

He wanted to thank you for his two new ears."