Confession and failed marriage

[shoei]

Dear samsters,

Recently my wife found out about my affairs with my flings/friends. My marriage is failing and she does not trust me at all now. I am really foolish to committ adultery to put our marriage and family at risk.

I sincercely regretted doing all these. I am lost and dont know what to do. She told me she is staying in the marriage for our kid(very young).

I am planning to see a counsellor next week to seek help.I need help and advice. any brothers have experiences on this? what should i do?

remoseful

[hugs]

delete ur acct in sbf n put ur pc under child restriction so u cant visit porn n sbf anymore.

gdbye.

[goodpartner]

Originally Posted by hugs

delete ur acct in sbf n put ur pc under child restriction so u cant visit porn n sbf anymore.

gdbye.

Hmm....
At least he is quick to acknowledge fault and be remorseful at such early stage leh
Most guys won't even feel this way for a long time isn't it?


@TS. someone recently gave me this wise saying which resonate deeply in me; hope you'll feel the same and convince your wife to think likewise.

i believe everyone makes mistakes that hurt others at some point n it is those of us who care to revisit the event again in our mind n be willing to own up to the mistakes, that counts.

Have a good talk with her sincerely. Good luck!

[Assplorer]

well bro , you had taken the right step back to reality . its gona be a long process to heal this hurt you had done . Forgiving is one thing . forgetting is another thing . Wish you good luck cos you need it .

[RealEstateGuy]

Originally Posted by shoei

Dear samsters,

Recently my wife found out about my affairs with my flings/friends. My marriage is failing and she does not trust me at all now. I am really foolish to committ adultery to put our marriage and family at risk.

I sincercely regretted doing all these. I am lost and dont know what to do. She told me she is staying in the marriage for our kid(very young).

I am planning to see a counsellor next week to seek help.I need help and advice. any brothers have experiences on this? what should i do?

remoseful

Brother, you need to focus prospectively and regain the trust of your wife. I cant call you a real man for your past actions. You know that SG society frowns upon adultery and yet you proceeded to sin anyway. I suggest you get counseling immediately and work hard to ensure this is the beginning of a new solid loving foundation built on trust with your wife rather than the beginning of divorce proceesings. Right now, she has every right to party it out one night and get laid in your master bedroom with you watching. Unless you wnat that and want to save your marraige and your family structure you need to change for the better.

[RealEstateGuy]

Originally Posted by shoei

Dear samsters,

Recently my wife found out about my affairs with my flings/friends. My marriage is failing and she does not trust me at all now. I am really foolish to committ adultery to put our marriage and family at risk.

I sincercely regretted doing all these. I am lost and dont know what to do. She told me she is staying in the marriage for our kid(very young).

I am planning to see a counsellor next week to seek help.I need help and advice. any brothers have experiences on this? what should i do?

remoseful

Brother, you need to focus prospectively and regain the trust of your wife. I cant call you a real man for your past actions. You know that SG society frowns upon adultery and yet you proceeded to sin anyway. I suggest you get counseling immediately and work hard to ensure this is the beginning of a new solid loving foundation built on trust with your wife rather than the beginning of divorce proceesings. Right now, she has every right to party it out one night and get laid in your master bedroom with you watching. Unless you wnat that and want to save your marraige and your family structure you need to change for the better. You should not take your wife for granted. Counseling should have proceeded when you had the urge to sin not after the fact when your wife is mad.

[Xgenre]

Originally Posted by hugs

delete ur acct in sbf n put ur pc under child restriction so u cant visit porn n sbf anymore.

gdbye.

The irony is that when the cheating husband does exactly that (deleting SBF account and don't visit sbf anymore), the cheated wife may come to sbf to seek consolation and to ask us for our views on why this happened and how to move forward henceforth.

[shoei]

Originally Posted by RealEstateGuy

Brother, you need to focus prospectively and regain the trust of your wife. I cant call you a real man for your past actions. You know that SG society frowns upon adultery and yet you proceeded to sin anyway. I suggest you get counseling immediately and work hard to ensure this is the beginning of a new solid loving foundation built on trust with your wife rather than the beginning of divorce proceesings. Right now, she has every right to party it out one night and get laid in your master bedroom with you watching. Unless you wnat that and want to save your marraige and your family structure you need to change for the better. You should not take your wife for granted. Counseling should have proceeded when you had the urge to sin not after the fact when your wife is mad.

thank you for your advice.

I have arranged the counselling next week. I know I hurt her very badly. I want to work hard to save this marriage I have. right now, I am willing to do anything to win her trust.

I know it is wrong for me to do what I have done. although she will not forget this, but how can I gain her forgiveness?

[shoei]

Originally Posted by hugs

delete ur acct in sbf n put ur pc under child restriction so u cant visit porn n sbf anymore.

gdbye.

I did consider that before and I believe in the near future I will do that. but I seek understanding and compassion for advice from experience brothers here.

sorry.

[shoei]

Originally Posted by goodpartner

Hmm....
At least he is quick to acknowledge fault and be remorseful at such early stage leh
Most guys won't even feel this way for a long time isn't it?


@TS. someone recently gave me this wise saying which resonate deeply in me; hope you'll feel the same and convince your wife to think likewise.



Have a good talk with her sincerely. Good luck!

thanks bro, I did. I know even admitting the mistake and recovering from it are two different matters.

[hugs]

TS,

i have seen girl friends of mine in this n i was there with them for afew yrs after their marriage broke down so seriously my advice is this. delete everything that will link u to another woman. cos a cheated wife is super sensitive now. she must feel u r sincere n that she needs to feel u love her.

and besides woman charter is strong in sg so is time u shd learn to wipe ur ass clean. i have seen a friend who sent husband's phone n pc to expert detectives who can trace stuff out. (fuk whose side am i on now? the cheated woman or the cheating man?) but my intention is all good. i am hoping u understand it isnt easy for the wife to trust again if she caught the husband cheating her before.

and hey bro X, i came to sbf not for advice on what to do with my ex-husband or the relationship leh. i nvr ask anyone what to do with my ex-husband, shd i poison him or send him a bomb etc. me n my ex-husband talked over the phone when he was in china n he said it over the phone to me that he was looking for love in china so i shd move on with my life without him. it only took him 1 min to break the news to me. i didnt have time nor the choice to decide what to do with our relationship. he dumped me n the kids n took only 1 min to do it. i came to sbf cos he also left behind a 10k debts for us. he came back 1 yr later to say he missed the kids n missed coming back home. i gave him a slap(not that i am the violent type but my hand auto that day) n said i did FL for 2 months so the kids had food n a shelter(yup he knows it 4 yrs ago cos i told him. i have always been a open type of person while he has alot of secrets type of person. n he sold away the flat, he is super prepared) n we got over the missing him part long ago. i said it took us only a min to do that. and as for asking why it happened, i was in need of hearing words that may help me heal my wounded heart. wont anyone ask why the quake happened to my family or why my mother fallen sick and all that? when bad things happen to anyone it is natural to ask why mah. so cannot ask izzit :P (btw why u ask for my mailing address n then so long still didnt give me urs?)

sorry TS i so long winded. dont come to sbf anymore. find a bro from here if u need advice n meet him up instead. at least if she send detective it only proves u r meeting a man.

[alan0338]

if kena cot liao then really lan lan need to be a good boy liao, r/s with OC will nv be the same ...

[hoA123]

破镜难重圆
TS, imho, it's not only what to stop doing and what to start.
try to woo your wife again.
live the promise you gave her.

good luck.

[chriz44]

Hi bro, i admire you for recognising n admitting yr faults. But before you start the long road to recovery, pls share why you started yr flings in the 1st place.

To fully recover, one must know why or what caused it in the 1st place so that you can overcome.

[Canoneos]

Did you just have sex or love affair? If you have been eating out because your wife doesn't cook at home, then I think you have a better chance of reconciling. If it is a love affair, then it will be extremely difficult.