Is Marriage The Graveyard Of Love?

[Cheri_Popper]

I believed that a certain number of Samsters here are married.

Do you think

1) After getting married, your livestyle change

2) The feelings is just no like before when during BGR.

3) The way she treats you is different.

4) After the kids arrive, does your sex life with her ceased.

5) Would you seek to find love outside your marriage, to fill your loneliness.

6) Would you consider getting a divorce.

Your comments pls.

[jeronimo]

Originally Posted by Cheri_Popper

I believed that a certain number of Samsters here are married.

Do you think

1) After getting married, your livestyle change
2) The feelings is just no like before when during BGR.
3) The way she treats you is different.
4) After the kids arrive, does your sex life with her ceased.
5) Would you seek to find love outside your marriage, to fill your loneliness.
6) Would you consider getting a divorce.

Your comments pls.

Nice Guy Cheri_Popper,

Marriage is a graveyard? Yes, to a certain extent it is. No, from a different perspective.

After getting hitched and upon deciding to settle down, there will certainly be certain implications and consequences that will come with the extra responsibilities, some even consider it burden or liabilities.
Every stages in life there is always different things to look forward to.
It will no longer be a friend, a partner or even a soulmate only, the progression to someone you would include in your family nucleus.

No doubt that it will bring about the way one thinks and behaves because there will be that extra person in your family that you will need to tend to and shower your attention. But take heed that it does not turn you life into chaos! I personally do not believe in giving up my friends or hobbies but more to a point where there is a mutual concensus where both parties are willing to meet along the pivoting ends of differences.

To me marriage is like a taunt to fight when the red light appears. Some thinkg that its cool and manly to bash your way out, others prefer to walk away from a fight which in this case is a divorce. There is no straight solution to win but more to a heave and ho action of reeling in and yet pulling it back in.
Why not try to forestall and prevent by trying to rekindle the flame of love?
Take everyday like a new day of courtship. Yes, its tiring but if you need to do that at work, why not at home? Well, its yet another easier said than done task.

Til the end, its all about the threshold of endurance its not about compromising but encompassing each other because too much compromising will lead to pent up frustrations which might have dire effects. Everyone leads a life and has a past of their own so the handling of precarious emotions will be diiferent. Open heart and open mind is the key for me.

Pardon the rantings of a boring man leading a mundane lifestyle, but sometimes I do appreciate such simplicity

[pilot2003]

Originally Posted by Cheri_Popper

I believed that a certain number of Samsters here are married.

Do you think

1) After getting married, your livestyle change

2) The feelings is just no like before when during BGR.

3) The way she treats you is different.

4) After the kids arrive, does your sex life with her ceased.

5) Would you seek to find love outside your marriage, to fill your loneliness.

6) Would you consider getting a divorce.

Your comments pls.

bro,since u chose to marry her at the first place,u have to bear everything...
btw i not marry yet so i won't comment much about this...
different ppls got different views

[Cheri_Popper]

Originally Posted by jeronimo

Marriage is a graveyard? Yes, to a certain extent it is. No, from a different perspective.

Well said! *clap* *clap*

[Cheri_Popper]

Originally Posted by pilot2003

bro,since u chose to marry her at the first place,u have to bear everything...

Sometimes it beyond bearable.

There are actually pros and cons to a marriage. But then since you took that marriage vow so lan lan lo.

[jeronimo]

Originally Posted by pilot2003

bro,since u chose to marry her at the first place,u have to bear everything...
btw i not marry yet so i won't comment much about this...
different ppls got different views

Nice Guy Pilot2003,

I do not view it as bear everything, because one needs to do the homework to consider everything. Here in the forum, alot of woes and sorrows are voiced by trouble people who sometimes need an extra voice to tell or rather re-emphasize things which they were well aware.
So if you really think you are ready to settle down, I think its best to have seen the six sides of the dices and be prepared that you might get a whopping 6 or a miserable 1. If not prepared or it does not suit you, try to look for a coin, it only has 2 sides

I looked at friends and peers surrounding me but their failures in marriage does not demoralise me. Because I take their shortcomings into mind and its a pitfall no more

[Cheri_Popper]

Originally Posted by jeronimo

I looked at friends and peers surrounding me but their failures in marriage does not demoralise me. Because I take their shortcomings into mind and its a pitfall no more

Thats good!! Thats good!! Hope that you will be happily married after.

[jeronimo]

Originally Posted by Cheri_Popper

Thats good!! Thats good!! Hope that you will be happily married after.

Sometimes when I am really vexed, I will just take a day off and go and whack some balls on the green or range. But my two little princesses does help. Its a different ballgame unlike bachelorhood, can just go and drink myself silly or find a companion for a night of fun

[Cheri_Popper]

Originally Posted by jeronimo

But my two little princesses does help. Its a different ballgame unlike bachelorhood

Parenting is a 365 days thankless job.

[solidrock]

My advice to you is to get married. If you find a good wife, you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates

As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take which course he will, he will be sure to repent. Socrates

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Rita Rudner

All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble. Raymond Hull

Three rings of marriage are the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering. Author Unknown

A man in love is incomplete until he has married. After that he's finished. Zsa Zsa Gabor

Spouse: someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single. Author Unknown

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. American Proverb

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too. H.L. Mencken

Love is blind and marriage is an institution. Therefore marriage is actually an institution for the blind.


For more quotes on marriage:
http://www.quotegarden.com/marriage.html
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[Cheri_Popper]

All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.

Three rings of marriage are the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.

Spouse: someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.

Very funny! Laugh until peng san!

[Cummingliao]

A wise man once told me that in order to have a blissful marriage, your wife has to be your best friend, and vice versa. In order for it to last, the relationship between you and your wife must be a friendship of virtue, and not just a friendship of pleasure, or worse a friendship of utility. Many people failed to realise these two important points, and hence the many failed relationships and marriages.

[AdGuy]

" Love is not a feeling, it's a decision. True love comes only when you decide that you are able to love your spouse during the times when he/she pisses you off the most. "

From AdGuy - the philosopher who is rumoured to be living in reclusiveness in the heart of Geylang from where he is seeking enlightenment

[dna_gene]

1) After getting married, your livestyle change
Basically I'm a salesman so it doesn't matter much and I'm not really a cheongster but definitely lost a great deal of freedom but that very much really depends on the nature of your work. Being salesman you are still able to find excuses to meet other gals. NEVERTHELESS there's 1 point i would like to note, I'm happy with my current lifestyle.

2) The feelings is just no like before when during BGR.
Though I have had many lovers even since I started dating my wife but my feeling for her never die. In fact I still love her very much because I see the good points in her even though she has her bad ones but then again, nobody's perfect. Try not to focus so much on her negative points and try seeing the good side of her. Most importantly, constantly remind yourself that you do love her. When you stop telling youself that, it really means you have stop loving her.

3) The way she treats you is different.
I'm not too sure about this. Maybe I have always shower her with care and love, there's not much different from the past, even despite the fact that she found out about my affairs outside. Then again, maybe that's because I'm simply lucky to find a sweet yet simple-minded wife.

Nevertheless, before you tell yourself that she's treating you differently, ask yourself did you treat her the same as how you did? How long did you not have that romantic dinner, that stroll down the busy street or the peaceful park? How long have you not surprise her with a bouquet of flowers or just a small little gift?

4) After the kids arrive, does your sex life with her ceased.
No kid yet, no comment. Sex is definitely much lesser with my wife than affairs outside but I do try making it a point at least once a week. This is the only thing I really feel sorry for my wife because I do not enjoy having sex with her as much as others. However 1 thing for sure, whenever she comes to me, i'll try my best to provide. If i'm too tired or just had sex outside and can't erect, i'll offer my service still. Not common though. Normally I'll still make love to her.

5) Would you seek to find love outside your marriage, to fill your loneliness.
Aaarrrr.... yes i would but it's more of finding thrills and because i'm too sex up rather than to fill loneliness. If you start an affair outside to fill your heart, the emptiness will only becomes deeper because you will feel like you are living 2 different lives. Your marriage would becomes worse and your affair outside would becomes more entwine together and divorce would be very likely to happen.

6) Would you consider getting a divorce.
NEVER!!!! At least not of my free will! I believe that since you had made your decision and made her your wife, there should never be a point in life where you should regret. Unless your wife culkoos you. That's a very selfish mindset and a cruel one.

Your wife has done no wrong and yet have to face your heartless decision just because you have stop loving her or have better one outside? Gals had shorter youth than guys, they age earlier. By the time there turn 35, they would look haggard.

Even if she's only 30, don't think she's still fine then. Don't forget that she still have to heal her wound before stepping into a new relationship and when she finally do, she still need to date for a year or too. By then she would be 32, 33. What if the relationship that she tried, don't work out? Men will stop dating her and soon she would be left on the shelf.

To all married brothers who had thought of getting divorce,please think twice. If it's your wife who wants it, fine. If not, seriously think over it because you might ruin the life of a woman whom you ever truly love so deeply just to realise it's too late to regret.

[Shuang_Jie_Gun]

Originally Posted by dna_gene

To all married brothers who had thought of getting divorce,please think twice. If it's your wife who wants it, fine. If not, seriously think over it because you might ruin the life of a woman whom you ever truly love so deeply just to realise it's too late to regret.

ur wife is lucky to have married u bro.Cheers bro.