Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[thunderpig]

Originally Posted by dyelook

I can't believe that you've been visiting prostitutes for sex," screamed the wife to her husband. "I'm really disappointed."

"You can hardly blame me," he answered. "It's not like I was getting any from you."

"Well that's your fault," she replied. "You never told me you were willing to pay for it"

LOL relatable haha

[oxeso]

[masterstroke]

Thanks for sharing.

Originally Posted by oxeso

[heavenlybonk]

Thanks to all for sharing nice jokes.

[fxty1989]

Thanks for sharing all the jokes.

[rotichennei]

Originally Posted by Duratop

“Hind Lick Maneuver”

Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant.

While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.

One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, 'Kin ya swallaw?' The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, 'Kin ya breathe?' The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers, and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm, and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.

As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly strolls back to his table. His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't niver seen nobody do it!'

SCDF should learn something from this

[Hurricane88]

[SupportSex]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Thanks for sharing.

[sbfindex]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Very funny joke.

[brotherinlaw]

Thank you all for sharing nice jokes,

[dyelook]

A man goes to his doctor and tells him that his wife hasn't had sex with him for 6 months:

The doctor tells the man to bring his wife in so he can talk to her.

So the wife comes into the doctors office and the doctor asks her what's wrong and why doesn't she want to have sex with her husband anymore.

The wife tells him. "For the past 6 months, every morning I take a cab to work. I don't have any money, so the cab driver asks me. 'So are you going to pay today or what?' so I take a 'or what'. When I get to work I'm late so the boss asks me, 'So are we going to write this down in the book or what?' so I take a 'or what'. Back home again I take the cab and again I don't have any money so the cab driver asks me again, 'So are you going to pay this time or what?' so again I take a 'or what'. So you see doc when I get home I'm all tired out and I don't want it any more."

The doctor thinks for a second and then turns to the wife and says "So are we going to tell your husband or what?" ��

[Tempsmart]

Nice share bro dyelook

[Hurricane88]

*THEORY OF ELIMINATION IN LIFE*.

*3 STAGES OF ELIMINATION IN LIFE :*

*AT THE AGE OF 60, THE WORKPLACE ELIMINATES YOU. NO MATTER HOW SUCCESSFUL OR POWERFUL YOU WERE DURING YOUR CAREER,* *YOU'LL RETURN TO BEING AN ORDINARY PERSON.*

*SO, DON'T CLING TO THE MINDSET AND SENSE OF SUPERIORITY FROM YOUR PAST JOB,*
*LET GO OF YOUR EGO, OR YOU MIGHT LOSE YOUR SENSE OF EASE !*

*AT THE AGE OF 70 ,* *SOCIETY GRADUALLY ELIMINATES YOU .*

*THE FRIENDS & COLLEAGUES YOU USED TO MEET & SOCIALIZE WITH BECOME FEWER ,* *AND HARDLY ANYONE RECOGNIZES YOU AT YOUR FORMER WORKPLACE .* *DON'T SAY,*
*"I USED TO BE..."*
*or "I WAS ONCE."*

*BECAUSE THE YOUNGER GENERATION WON'T KNOW YOU, AND YOU MUSTN'T FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE ABOUT IT !*

*AT 80/90, FAMILY SLOWLY ELIMINATES YOU.*

*EVEN IF YOU HAVE MANY CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN,*
*MOST OF THE TIME YOU'LL BE LIVING WITH YOUR SPOUSE OR BY YOURSELF.*

*WHEN YOUR CHILDREN VISIT OCCASIONALLY , IT'S AN EXPRESSION OF AFFECTION, SO DON'T BLAME THEM FOR COMING LESS OFTEN, AS THEY'RE BUSY WITH THEIR OWN LIVES !*

*AFTER 90, THE EARTH WANTS TO ELIMINATE YOU.*
*AT THIS POINT , DON'T BE SAD OR MOURNFUL,*

*BECAUSE THIS IS THE WAY OF LIFE, AND EVERYONE WILL EVENTUALLY FOLLOW THIS PATH !*

*THEREFORE, WHILE OUR BODIES ARE STILL CAPABLE, LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST !*

*EAT WHAT YOU WANT , DRINK WHAT YOU DESIRE , PLAY AND DO THE THINGS YOU LOVE .*

*REMEMBER ,* *THE ONLY THING THAT WON'T ELIMINATE YOU IS THE WHATSAPP GROUP .*
*SO , COMMUNICATE MORE IN THE GROUP ,*
*SAY A HELLO , MAINTAIN YOUR PRESENCE , BE HAPPY , AND HAVE NO REGRETS !*

*STAY BLESSED ALWAYS. Dedicated to Senior citizens.*
🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

[whitedwarf]

Very good thread. Blow away my Tuesday Blues!

[dyelook]

Marriage is like a casino.

You go in excited and optimistic, but end up leaving drunk, broke, and talking to yourself.