Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

[greener]

Hi all,

Thank you so much for your inputs so far. As cynical as it is, it's all the essence of the essence from so many brothers experience and good knowledge.

I think it has helped me a lot. I feel more empowered now to make my own stand with the demands/requirements that she is asking for. Especially getting married so soon is really something that is just so risky.

Surely to my girlfriend getting married is a way of getting herself out of the poverty she and her family is in. In terms of expectations, the way that she sees the marriage has a different tone to the way I see it.

Again thanks for all the good opinions. Appreciated .

Regards,

[zion1989]

No pain, no gain bay gio toi co the hieu tieng viet chut chut. don gian tv, ko muon tro thanh ke ngoc. If want to date a girl from viet, better understand their language that the best way hee

[greener]

Thanks bro zion1989. I will try my best to learn the language as well .

[zion1989]

no problem, but is good you get came here to ask for advise because the bros here have a better understanding and knowledge of vietnamese culture and life partner. Indeed each and everyone have different views but majority of the insight we have is about the same. Especially getting a WL to be a wife, i am glad that you use your head to think and take things slowly, for a village girl is an honour to marry a foreign hubby. I am still a junior here, as i start to hook up in this thread coming to half a year only. What i share is based on my personal experiences those seniors here have years of experiences to share.

[theUnforgotten]

Hi guys, I been lurking around this thread for the past 3 years.

Never actually committed to a serious relationship with viets initially due to language barrier and accessibility issues. I am slowly beginning to appreciate Vietnamese and hope to pick up tieng viet too , performing due diligence before making further moves or foray into Vietnamese relationships.

Hope the senior guys ,can forgive my still newbie mistakes. I only been to hcm/Hanoi -a total of 4 times over the last 4 years, never actually ventured past the tourist areas and "paid" companion" stage, hopefully can move past this stage.

[SingViet]

Originally Posted by Golden question

TS is refering those that are 25 to 99 is more stable,tio bo singviet

Tio la Bro.... 101 years old also can

[SingViet]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

i take the word "chia tay" very lightly... most vb mouth say this out but heart cannot bare to...

Only yr one SPECIAL la, if you marry one VB of my wife's character, you can prepare for your 2nd divorce roi , with your ECAs.

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by OhMyGod

You are absolutely right. They are 吃硬不吃軟。

9 out of 10 will come back and say sorry. Unless they found another sucker which if they dun come back, is another blessing by itself

let me share a little bit inside of 2 VB stories...both decent gals but one with Korean bf and another with Jap bf...both men were married...but both VBs aged 23 had no qualms about being with the men because of money...the 2 men each gave the gals USD800 each per month...

Each get to see the men only in hotel once or twice per week and usually day time when the men took a break to go rendevous...the men just used money to keep them as purely sex gf...

Many times both VBs had broke off with their respective bfs...but each time the temptation of money and lust will bring them back...the gals are typical local dame working as retail sales gal or waitresses...

so there you see how tough these VBs can be and many had gone thru numerous heartbreaks, abortions, etc...but then again this is the way they survived with easi money...these gals are not FL...and some may have multiple partners...both VBs knew that by the time they grew older, the Korean and Jap bfs will dump them for younger gals...then they are already considered to old for their market...

the above are real stories...but written base on my observation and opinion...

[OhMyGod]

Its not just about money although it the main reason. Haha

I feel sometimes you just can't drill proper reason into their thick skulls.
When this happens, you have to play hard ball.

Dun just give in to please them, when you are also a mud Buddha who can't cross the river yourself. Let alone helping others.

[Golden question]

In short,dont underestimate what vietnamese can do or cannot do.Honestly speaking,singaporean man is no fight when come to this especially with regards to feeling.Is a 'gamble' but that does not mean u have to 'show hand' so fast.But also dont be too suspicious on what your girl or wife is thinking or doing.Use your big head to think and not through feeling.If u cannot do something on what she want,tell her straight with reason why u cant,if u scare to let her know cos u think she will leave you and u try to please her with what she want,then i think u will fail terribly cos she only think of herself and not you.

I think i have share before how i treated my wife or then girlfriend.Not to say i am good but i been married with her for 5 years plus.The real test of your relationship will only come after both of u is marry.

So for those bro who think u have finally find a girl who is damm good,will peel prawn shell for you,call u ox,cook for u,want to marry you,want to give birth baby for u and etc,better learn more about their culture and thinking through here.Only u know her best and whether she turn out to be a good wife or not is depends on both of you.

Not say all is like that but their thinking and way of doing things is very different from local girl so learn more through here of their culture and understand more before u commit anything.

[Genomes]

Originally Posted by greener

Hi all,

Thank you so much for your inputs so far. As cynical as it is, it's all the essence of the essence from so many brothers experience and good knowledge.

I think it has helped me a lot. I feel more empowered now to make my own stand with the demands/requirements that she is asking for. Especially getting married so soon is really something that is just so risky.

Surely to my girlfriend getting married is a way of getting herself out of the poverty she and her family is in. In terms of expectations, the way that she sees the marriage has a different tone to the way I see it.

Again thanks for all the good opinions. Appreciated .

Regards,

dun help her with any finance thingy for 2 months
if she still with u than maybe call

[FireShark]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

reason is because they dun understand how tough a VB can be...i had met so many of them...all claimed to love me...but when they wanted something...they will threaten to break if they dun get their way....anyway, I am also very tough...to me VB asked to break off and not me...so I had reasons to find new one...

all came back after a week to 3 months to ask for reconcile but I just told them they are many choices in Vietnam...

I also heard too many from my friends in hcm...all had similar experiences...

VB dun submit to weakness...they bow to tough guys and not wippy boys...

Bro Hurricane

Wow, all came back after a week to 3 months but for me 1'm the one who say break off. lolx

VB love to threathen and make use our love but luckily my present gf now is not. I hope after im going to marry her, she wont change.

I do have many choices in the past but i had stopped all recently. Too tired to handle and I find that my present gf really love and treat me good. In the past, some use threathen, some love to sweet talk and some talk but no actions all have been abandoned and now i hope that with her i can concentrate on my working life.

I had been trying to find expatrate job in VN but until today for 2 years, I cant get one. Sigh.......

[Hurricane88]

Let me share another insights how tough VBs can be...these time on VB married but divorced and with a child...known as single mothers...

there are many occasions that you may met viet gals aged 25 yrs and above that may already married before but divorced due to some reasons...1. husband have other gals or adultery...2. husband died in accident...3. husband abused and/or useless bum...or etc...

A. typical VB may have to work in KTV, Massage parlour, FL, bbbj joint, whore....
B. VB working in hot toc, waitresses, clerk, etc...
c. VB working as professional..such as Manager, Accountant, etc...

the VB above always had priority to treat the child as most important, then followed by mother, father, siblings....before their bf or future hubby...

cat C above are the most reliable among the 3 cat...the other 2 cat may try to use KC to ask for as much money from men...if you ever get involved then you will know...cat A can be found in singapore....cat B and C can only found in Vietnam mainly in cities...

the above are my observations and opinions...

[jf66312]

Originally Posted by theUnforgotten

Hi guys, I been lurking around this thread for the past 3 years.

Never actually committed to a serious relationship with viets initially due to language barrier and accessibility issues. I am slowly beginning to appreciate Vietnamese and hope to pick up tieng viet too , performing due diligence before making further moves or foray into Vietnamese relationships.

Hope the senior guys ,can forgive my still newbie mistakes. I only been to hcm/Hanoi -a total of 4 times over the last 4 years, never actually ventured past the tourist areas and "paid" companion" stage, hopefully can move past this stage.

dun worry abt it...i have only been to VN twice...once is to visit my present bx family and another for wedding.....

as for language barrier, no worries, lots of pros ard here to give advice too...

most of all , just enjoy the process and keep an open mind...

[theUnforgotten]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

A. typical VB may have to work in KTV, Massage parlour, FL, bbbj joint, whore....
B. VB working in hot toc, waitresses, clerk, etc...
c. VB working as professional..such as Manager, Accountant, etc...

I m keen on cat B and C, thank you for sharing your experiences, its an invaluable insight.

Originally Posted by jf66312

dun worry abt it...i have only been to VN twice...once is to visit my present bx family and another for wedding.....

as for language barrier, no worries, lots of pros ard here to give advice too...

most of all , just enjoy the process and keep an open mind...

Wow second trip and planning wedding already, its my second trip this year and still nothing to show for, maybe its my fear of commitment maybe its my big fat a#$3

I do enjoy the process just as much, but need to do further" field work" and research, applying my 5'P' principle.

Thank you all for your contributions to the thread,keep the insights and case studies flowing