Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

[littleleroy]

Originally Posted by mutantchicken

i never undewrstand why would u just not find out who the girl is before marriage, and sure if she says you dont trust her say yes i dont trust you thats why we dating now...its seems u want to close your eyes trust trust, take a passive role, its equivalent to being lazy in love, then not take precautions and then get the girl pregnamt, in 2013 there is no excuse for unplanned pregnany, after get her pregnant then forced to be married.

Actually bro, before marriage she wasn't like this, less possessive and not demanding, not materialistic gf. She portrayed differently from my SG gfs la, like she innocent, innocent and simple. it was shortly less than six month she was pregnant. Well, not that I didn't want to wear protection la. She didn't like it either. When I wanted to pull out, she didn't allow me to. Of cos I know the consequences and her intention la, I really love her and didn't mind as it felt right to settle down with her. Was really struggling as family objected violently to the marriage. She said she'd bring the baby back to Vietnam to raise him up if I don't want to be responsible for her. But, I bite the bullet, down this arduous road. No one to blame but myself.

Originally Posted by mutantchicken

the fact is she prob know u better than u know her, she outsmarted you, now she can have a life free and simple holding your child for ransom in effect, when she has money she has love, if you had kept control of your money maybe you also would have love, u give it away she no longer needs you...there are many reasons and possibilities why she feels she needs to do this, but i dont think its something she did quickly, maybe she does all this spent the money and now regrets her action as she cant get more money from u so say sorry waiting to withdraw from ATM second time, who can really say...if you dont know her, how can we know, regardless how much experience

She really did outsmart me. As you can see, I'm actually not very smart dealing with wives la, I don't know how to play mind game too. I'm trying to learn from you bros out there. I always thought she innocent and simple. When I told her my parents run a small shop, she thought it was a pushcart. However now I could be wrong perhaps the love was never true. She probably married me cos she think I'm loaded? I don't know, Possibility that she had spent all my money, that's why asking me to forgive her... I shall find out more but I need her back with my son. I certainly do not wish my son w/o a mother, I have been slow talking her hoping her to change for our future.... But being vbs, they are super stubborn! I give her logic, she don't want to listen, treat like I farting wind. Sigh, bros out there, pls know your bx for at least 2yrs. True story, don't end up like me haha suck thumb

Originally Posted by mutantchicken

Asking out opinion prob would have been better b4 the damage has been done. What is your job "FA"..i dont know what that means

Will definitely be asking for opinions... Very hard to fathom what they thinking, definitely not for people with weak heart like me. FA= Financial advisor. Name Sounds nicer nia but insurance agent la, don't avoid me! hahaha
Well, most of my colleagues are females and she will be very jealous and sensitive, when I come home late, she will think I go find girls. (-.-) Shake head

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by littleleroy

She said she'd bring the baby back to Vietnam to raise him up if I don't want to be responsible for her. But, I bite the bullet, down this arduous road. No one to blame but myself.

see many sinkie men will not know how to handle this kind of relationship and VB holding baby to threaten to you...

let me tell you what i mean by strong hard tactics and why VB not meant for the soft hearted men...

when a VB asked to do RAW...give her the conditions to agree...
1 - take birth control pills
2 - if pregnant - she wants to abort then pay for all the charges and repect her wish
3 - if pregnant - she wants to keep baby then tell her she has to ensure she looked after baby and she cannot leave baby with her mother. Pay all the charges and baby maintenance.
4 - when baby old enough for education then baby goes to singapore to study and she cannot go
5 - tell her she cannot use baby to threaten you and no special treatment if she behaves unreasonable

all these above told to her to agree before you proceed to do RAW sex...never ever let Vb use baby as threat to you...

6 - test DNA to ensure baby is yours

I understand the above is not easy to carried out but you have to do it...if gal dump you then you can walk away without feeling guilty...

above dun apply to WL...never feel guilty when you had paid her...

[mutantchicken]

Originally Posted by littleleroy

Actually bro, before marriage she wasn't like this, less possessive and not demanding, not materialistic gf. She portrayed differently from my SG gfs la, like she innocent, innocent and simple.d

If you telle people you financial advisor, people think you riech thats the problem..and please dont take this wrong way, if im not mistaken you are the one who posted having to borrow money for wedding, wife have fight with sister living aty home blah blha so for long time the marriage life hasnt been harmonious and far from being idealic, my advice if you want to find a good wife, is tell her 1/2 what you are or earn...even if you lie, better lie down stream, if FA say bank teller etc. Its kinda of scary you FA but you have such finacial difficulties yourself heheh If you just want to play girl the sure lie and exaggerate but be treated like carrot, but def get LOTS of interest, but if you do that i think better pay and forget. This is a very hard situation you find yourself, the prevention def better than any cure...i wish you the best

here you really have 3 simple choices
1 forever be her slave, for the sake of having access to your child and your child having a mother.
2 somehow getiing yiou baby back and then giving her the choice of either joinimg you on your own terms
3 letting her go with baby and when she is ready go back to you...2 and 3 i would suggest you to lie and say how you are poor financial diffucilty, only then if she comes back it for the right reeasons other wise 6mths later u will be back here asking for opinions as she hhas again runaway

[jackbl]

Originally Posted by volcano

no chance to practise yet leh...export goods like Sgd whereas i only have Vnd...

Never mind. You bring your Vnd, I help you to change to Sgd

[SingViet]

Originally Posted by littleleroy

Bro SingViet, how you decline your wife w/o her getting upset and angry? Told her the similar thing but she don't understand and counter back that I don't trust her etc and the whole drama comes back again. Like you mentioned, I gave her some allowance but a little more la $300/mth (she say she need more to buy son's necessity), sometimes less depending on how much I bring back, & access to our joint account for our son's future schooling fees.

Loving your wife doesn't mean letting her do whatever she wants. If you keep thinking that Vietnamese man are violent, drunk etc and that she surely wants to be with you, then you are totally wrong. Why Viet woman wants to be with Singapore man? A few simple reasons:

(1) They want to get long term pass or PR in Singapore so that they can bring their family or relatives to Singapore to work as hookers to earn money.

(2) They think that Singaporeans are better off than them and can provide for their family back home. Can help them build houses in province, can give their family money etc. How many houses in the villages are built by their hard earned money? Most are built by foreign husbands or Viet Kieus.

(3) They are simply disappointed with Vietnam and the difficult life in the province. They want to get a better life

Most gals are reasons 1 and 2. Those in reason 3 will be better wives. Viet gals know that Singapore man are easily controlled and will do anything to their wish. Its not about treating your spouse bad, but to be firm and also educate your spouse. How much do they know with only a few years of education and being in the village / Vietnam all the time? When you are firm, don't be afraid of them being angry. It takes time to make them understand.

[KangTuo]

Originally Posted by maxrex

Sorry to disturb this thread. To any man who had divorced before, I need to know how long to get the Final Judgement certificate. Ancillary matters had been settled. And is it ok to remarry at any time after obtaining the Final Judgement certificate? Thanks in advance.

Vaguely remember that interim to final should be 6 months...check with your lawyer
Once Final, can remarry already.

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

even bro KT asked...sure he knew the answer now...

http://sbf.today/show... #post6294310

You stalking me ha?

[KangTuo]

Littleleroy, since your wife wanna come back, you can let her back with your child on condition that she adhere to your terms. It's time you outsmart her.

Observe her for this period... Divorce and move on if necessary.

Never let her touch your finances anymore. Allowance given upon request
Keep your child passport.

By the way, how come you gave your wife 2k when she say she keep it for child education?
Don't you think it is too early and didn't you know that there is a thing called the CDA account?

[KangTuo]

Originally Posted by littleleroy

Actually bro, before marriage she wasn't like this, less possessive and not demanding, not materialistic gf.

A lot couples are the same... Loving before marriage, after marriage and stayed together, everything went wrong. This is what happen in my first marriage.

Because we always think we are ready for family life together but we are actually not.

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

You stalking me ha?

haha...dun need to stalk you...was searching the thread to help littleleroy then came across your post...dun think you got replied...so just post to ask you because knew you went thru...

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

A lot couples are the same... Loving before marriage, after marriage and stayed together, everything went wrong. This is what happen in my first marriage.
Because we always think we are ready for family life together but we are actually not.

that is why dun rush into marriage even gal is pregnant...man can take responsible as father to care for baby but dun rush into marriage as sinkie...women charter is strong here...men have more to lose here during divorce settlement...

never allowed small head to think bigger than big head...

[Golden question]

Originally Posted by littleleroy

Thanks bro, we've been married for a year now. Cannot denounce marriage since over one year plus she not in Singapore. It is hard to let her go, esp when we have a son and I certainly do not wish to walk down this path of divorce. My parents and I have never mistreated her or anything, it just puzzles me why she is unhappy.. Quarrel - I argue back, her face black black, angry and attitude me so I always diam diam, don't want to worsen the quarrel. Got son cos we lam tinh la, no like protection thus the aftermath consequences but of cos I wanted to settle then Liao la.

Money can earn back but my son, if she hides him, I can never get him back... From my understanding from her and reaffirmation from bros here is that, Vietnam men hits their wife, drink and gamble and prostitute. So she don't like Vietnam men, Yet she doesn't seem to treasure me. Any bros can recommend some Wu ling miji to gain enlightenment? Hahaha a lot of bros here very pro in managing their bx

Your post does not look like u are worry or sad,is this a true story from u or u just want keep this thread alive?

[SingViet]

To illustrate how some Singaporean husbands are totally controlled by their viet spouse. I got to know a Sinkie man whose Viet spouse wants him to post `lovely and mushy' statements on Facebook daily so that her friends will know how much the husband loves her and that everyone will be envious that she has a good husband.

[Kim91]

Originally Posted by Golden question

Your post does not look like u are worry or sad,is this a true story from u or u just want keep this thread alive?

Thats why I believe his situation is not that bad till need divorce... there's some missing parts.. he just need to get his wife back, have a good toking session n using bro singviet's methodology...

[stillgottheblue]

Don't know how TS and his family treated his wife, though he said before they didn't ill treated her. Did both of you always argue or fight! Well it may not be a good thing for you to shut up, quarrel is good most of the time. It shows the relationship is still ongoing.

[SingViet]

Originally Posted by stillgottheblue

Don't know how TS and his family treated his wife, though he said before they didn't ill treated her. Did both of you always argue or fight! Well it may not be a good thing for you to shut up, quarrel is good most of the time. It shows the relationship is still ongoing.

not TS la. TS is me .