Happily Married with an ex WL(VN)

[casannova03]

Originally Posted by jackbl

Got time to continue to share your experiences?

A bit busy la...but i already have some thought for the next post....stay tuned...

[jackbl]

Sure! Camping here!!!

When your sister-in-law come sgp huh?!

Originally Posted by casannova03

A bit busy la...but i already have some thought for the next post....stay tuned...

[casannova03]

most prob after CNY ...

[jackbl]

Is HER queue very long??? hehe...

Then u will be busy lor... no time to come out then

Originally Posted by casannova03

most prob after CNY ...

[xcapade]

I jus finish reading all the pages.....I really love happy ending...it's like watching a movie.....in fact it's better cos it's real....thanx alot for sharing...Wish u all the best for u and ur family !

[jackbl]

Is it illegal to bring vietnamese movies to sgp? if not, can i ask her to transport some for me here?

Originally Posted by casannova03

most prob after CNY ...

[casannova03]

i think a few pieces of dvd should be fine...but if its a lot, then they might start to think you wanna sell it over here...haha

Anyway, what movies you have in mind?

[jackbl]

About 12 dvd, already bought. Go to buu dien, they said cannot send over, cos its fake one. Those are Talks that make people laugh, i dun know how to say exactly the words.

Originally Posted by casannova03

i think a few pieces of dvd should be fine...but if its a lot, then they might start to think you wanna sell it over here...haha

Anyway, what movies you have in mind?

[casannova03]

Its been a long time since I continued on my original aim of this thread - to relate the challenges and the life of being married to a VN gal(ex Wl).

So long that i have forgotten what i have already posted and i have got to re-read the last few of my own postings...

I have more or less concluded my experiences on the part before our marriage which is getting to know her and some of the experiences and challenges that i faced....actually there are some more la but i few they are not so important so i have left them out. If you feel that you want to know some more stuffs, pls ask me. I will try my best to recall if i have similar experiences during the pre-marriage stage.


And now....Married!!

CAUTION

A lot of you guys may have found the perfect partner and may have put in a lot of effort in the getting to know you stage - where you try to determine her love for you, her real intentions and her real personality. You have come thru it and you felt that the time is right to settle down. Ok so you go thru it, the ROM, the banquet(if you have) and the formalities involved. What next??

Ok initially, there is this period of time where she cannot find work cos as a LTSVP holder, she cannot work as yet. So its always you work she stay at home kind of schedule. This may lead some bros to feel uncomfortable cos you are afraid of what she might do when she is all alone at home. Well, all i can say is you've made your choice...if at this stage you still suspect her, then, you've jumped the gun!

Anyway, what can you do during this period of time? I feel this is the time to send your wife for some courses!! And i mean some courses that will enable her to pick up some skills and eventually find employment when she gets her PR (abt 6 mths to 1 year estimate). I did not do it in the first place cos i was doing quite ok in my own business then. On hindsight, i feel i have wasted this period of time cos basically all she does everyday is stay at home, cook, wash clothes watch tv etc. In life, you never know when your next rough patch is so i guess its always better to have both person working and saving money for your future.

However, before that you might want to expedite her language proficiency. I was lucky in a sense that my wife actually studied the english language while working here. So she have had some degree of proficiency in langauge. So maybe one of the very first course should be english or mandarin. I feel english is sufficient cos after that you can then teach her to speak mandarin on your own. (i dun think they wanna learn or need to learn how to write in chinese.....it'll be a nightmare!!!)

Once that is done, you might want to find some skill courses for them. In my opinion, the beauty sector is one of the few that is best for them. Cos i guess, most of them do not have a high level of education. In the beauty industry, nobody cares if you've got a degree or masters. Its about if you've got the skills to do a nice job for customers.

So some skills can be manicure/pedicure, haircutting, beauty related stuffs like face massage, treatment etc. There is a varied array of such courses around and in fact, its quite easy to find employment in this industry once you have got the skills and the cert.

Occasionally, you may want to look out for BIG compines(i.e FIL/Marie-France/Jean Yip/Modern Beauty Salon etc) that offer work + study scheme (no experience needed). Which means that you do not have to pay course fees to learn the skills and you are guaranteed employment under the company. All you have to do is to sign a bond which says you will have to work for the company for at least 1 year after the course is completed! Trust me!!! there is such thing!! you just gotta be more observant the next time you read the papers or when you pass by such beauty outlets when you go shopping. How i know? Cos my wife signed up with one of the 'big ones' with virtually no experience but quit halfway cos she dun like the way big companies work....so end up she took a private course.

So i guess this posts sort of address the immediate period after marriage and suggest what you can let her do in that free time.... and it will keep her occupied and of course for those bros still fretting if she will go back to her old trade, it will give her a new direction in life! That is to learn new skills and get employed and earn her own keep...."the morally right path"....

Hope it helps.....stay tuned for the next one!!

[jackbl]

Hmm... if your wife wants to tatoo her eyebrows, i can recommend someone i know. She (con gai vn) charged the price almost the same as back in vn
She also do tatoo on body. Confirmed cheaper than those shops in sgp. I can ask her to go to your house even.

Originally Posted by casannova03

Cos my wife signed up with one of the 'big ones' with virtually no experience but quit halfway cos she dun like the way big companies work....so end up she took a private course.

[muguamugua]

Looks like got alot of bro marrying ex-wl?

[casannova03]

Originally Posted by muguamugua

Looks like got alot of bro marrying ex-wl?

errmmm, how should i put it....there ARE a lot of ppl doing that all around. Its just that nobody's really talking about it...what with the socio-non acceptance of such unions...

And i doubt many will openly go around telling people that their wife is an ex WL to people they know, less their close buddies.

I dun want to go down that line of argument for or against such marriages again...there is much of such debates all around in this forum. If you're into such debates, well, search around and you'll find plenty to "treat" your mind with.

I'll just sum up my thoughts on this matter once and for all!

At the end of the day, a partner's past is never important - maybe you'll just need to be a bit more certain of the relationship initially -
because you got married to someone not to live in his/her past but to forge a future together.

Why look back into history and live in misery for something that you cannot change?

Why not look ahead into the future and live in bliss for what you plan to achieve together? Isn't your life more meaningful this way?

I'll take my leave here......

[xcapade]

anyway bro...i'm jus curious...wat are u working as ? and i understand from ur earlier story u went to uni.....is it a local uni ? anyway i'm truly happy for u....u knoe someting like Pretty Woman movie liddat......i love happy ending....my deep profound respect for u....

[Longitude]

Nothing is worth more than this day.

[casannova03]

Originally Posted by Longitude

Nothing is worth more than this day.

Ermmm...which day you talking about??