Happily Married with an ex WL(VN)

[longwinter]

do continue the story. camping here!!!

[peterpan_24]

waiting here too fr more update.... always nice to heard a nice ending blooming frm a r/s with an ex WL as compare to the many sad ones......
haha seeing u talking JC scence make me remember my ns time too ...seem like tht a veri popular place fr old brids ns personnel like u and me few yrs ago but heard nw like a ghost town ....

[casannova03]

Originally Posted by peterpan_24

waiting here too fr more update.... always nice to heard a nice ending blooming frm a r/s with an ex WL as compare to the many sad ones......
haha seeing u talking JC scence make me remember my ns time too ...seem like tht a veri popular place fr old brids ns personnel like u and me few yrs ago but heard nw like a ghost town ....

yeah man...i went back last sat just to soak up the atmosphere at my meeting place to get inspiration for my thread...sad to sad its not as 'happening' as last time already...

anyway bros pls bear with me k...i will be busy till wednesday so most prob will only post the next part then....stay tuned!

[The Landlord]

Bro, will wait for your story.

[The Landlord]

Bro, please continue leh....

[casannova03]

hey bros ...so sorry i din fuilfil my promise to write it out on wednesday...i was really busy and to add to that i had a quarrel with my wife...haha..(not all exactly rosy as you may see) but which relationship does not have.... anyway, i will try and get the next edition done up by monday evening...sorry bros and thanks for waiting....

[Darkstorm]

Originally Posted by casannova03

hey bros ...so sorry i din fuilfil my promise to write it out on wednesday...i was really busy and to add to that i had a quarrel with my wife...haha..(not all exactly rosy as you may see) but which relationship does not have.... anyway, i will try and get the next edition done up by monday evening...sorry bros and thanks for waiting....

Will be waiting for your story.

[chris8080]

Originally Posted by ekemono

It will be difficult to write down all the conversations. Perhaps you can describe how you met her, your dating with her, what brings about the commitment to be together, any difficulties you or her or both faced while being together. Then how the marriage came, how was it celebrated, where does both of you stands now, any children, future plan.

So many things to write.

ya u r right bro eke camping for more pls continue ......

[casannova03]

paiseh paiseh!!! sorry sorry

Missing for so long...haha...i was busy with work and of course trying to make the missus happy....kena caught go KTV la...hahahaha anyway i will post a series now....in th next hour...thanks all bros for opinions and ideas..i think i will take bro ekemo's idea and write with less conversations and more relating of events...this should make reading easier and of course my typing easier as well..haha

stay tuned....

[casannova03]

continued....

.... So when the whole gang was there, we went into the pub..we past by 4 rooms before reaching the main pub area(old birds should know which one i am talking about because they have since renovated and there are no longer rooms in it) It was quite dark but by the look of it, there were gals aplenty. We settled down and gals started to approach us. i set my eyes on one particular gal (not my wife) she was stiing alone at one of the empty tables but somehow she refuse to come over and she was busy playing with her handphone. While i was trying to make eye contact to signal her, one of the gals led her'sister' to me. I took a look and said ok. cos she was very shy and had a very very different dressing from other gals. you know the type like shanghai tan? haha her blouse had fur around the edges?? quite unique while at the same time not like ah soh cheaongsam type...<<Lesson 1: Fate does play a part, if you believe in it ,cos my initial target was not my wife but another gal..turn out she is my wife's best friend..even till today>>

So i sat with her and communicated with her in english, cos that was the only othr language she spoke besides Vietnamese. I will not bore you with the usual introduction stuffs and the getting to know you stage cos i believe for all situations that should be SOP. Found out that she was here because she wanted to make money to build a house for her family cos that's her dream and of course to give them a better life. She told me that besides that her family have no other issues. found out that she was here on student's pass and thus unlike other gals she dun wanna dress too provocatively as her pass was at stake. The more i talk to her, the more i fell in love <<KC-ed??>> Anyway, there was the standard rubba rubba actions and all and before the night end, i actually sat with another gal, also her friend. Her friend was damn active cos keep rubbing the groin area and cooing up to me but somehow, i took a liking to my wife cos she was decent compared to the rest and was shy.

When the night ended, i got her number and returned to camp.(I chose to stay in camp cos got free food and night snacks!!! ahaha). I sent her a long msg to say goodnight and guessed what? she forwarded the whole msg back to me. Turned out that at that time her english is not as good and she copied and sent the whole msg back because she wants to say the same thing but dunno how to type ....haha...clever !!

I decided to join my friends more frequently after that night....

*Tip was $20 for her friend and $30 for her...used up my $50 i brought that night

[Darkstorm]

Originally Posted by casannova03

paiseh paiseh!!! sorry sorry

Missing for so long...haha...i was busy with work and of course trying to make the missus happy....kena caught go KTV la...hahahaha anyway i will post a series now....in th next hour...thanks all bros for opinions and ideas..i think i will take bro ekemo's idea and write with less conversations and more relating of events...this should make reading easier and of course my typing easier as well..haha

stay tuned....

I want to hear the conversations! More interesting!

[casannova03]

THE DATING

After several more visits to the pub, i started to date her out. Communication between her and me was quite funny at time, with her broken english and my broken vietnamese. ..At this point in time, she and I have not even been engage in anything sexual.(yet) I din ask and she din offer so we kept it at that. what was between us was something more like a mutual need to know the other side better. ..(well, i din know it was mutual until after i got married and my wife told me.) So bros at this point in time, what i know is I want to know more about her.So to me, it was one sided. (i guessed many bros feel the same out there initially) Dangerous as it is, i wanna find out more....

Lesson 2: Give yourself and her a chance. Keep an open mind! Do give each other more time to learn more..is she the one? Only through time you will find out.... If you dun even know yourself, dun bother asking others who will be more clueless..

We started to go on dates and got closer to each other. For me, i did what i would normally do to a local gf if i had one. Things like going to movies (although she dun understands most of them), going to seasides(a lot of bros in here do this...i know ok!!!), eating at places with good food. It was like normal. We were happy when we go out and this feelings grows in me. I wanted to meet her everyday and so i did, as shown by my daily visits to the pub. rain or shine,alone or with friends, i'll be there when she's at work and i will send her home when work's done. In the afternoons, i will send her to school and pick her up in the evenings from school back to her home. As more often than not i will be alone at the pub, So one day she asked me:" why do you come everyday, you very rich is it?" To which i replied:" No, i am not rich but i can still afford a jug of beer every other day. I want to make sure nothing happens to you when you work here, besides if the police do come, at least i am here!" At this point, she put her fingers to my lips and said:" dun say, no lucky!"

However, after that day, she keeps pestering me not to go there and drink everyday. i did not know why she was doing this. I felt sad and all the more i wanted to go and see her. however, i continued my daily ritual of sending her to and fro work.Such was my frequency at the pub that staffs there all knew about me.. even till today when i pop in once in a while they will ask about my wife.. anyway, the more i went there, the more unhappy she was.....Well, at this point, i will highlight what many bros must have felt, myself included.(doubt starts to set in)

I thought:"this is it. She's trying to ask me to keep a distance cos she feels i no money and cannot get anything much from me!!!""


"So far so good ma, i think she likes me and of course i lke her...but is she true?? why now start to treat me like that?? well, my friends are telling me she's only after your money and to get PR la (cos at that time that's what's reported in the LIANHE WANBAO with regards to PRCs...Hot Topic that time!!!). I just told myself, :" well, she hasn't asked for anything and so far what i've given her (flowers, a cheap diamond necklace (from TAKA Jewellery that time just open and diamond very low grade so i spent like $50 on the super small diamond necklace) are what i want to give and not asked for. No money nothing....perhaps money spent on food and going out to movies...thats all.... maybe she see i still young and no money so wanna 'let go' and look for bigger fish???

i start to worry and all sorts of negative scenarios start to form in my mind....scenes of her with other guys talking and laughing, of her in bed with them(i haven had any sexual relationship with her thus far), of them trying to bed her and of old man touching her.....Shit man!!! i cannot stand it.....

(any bros have similar feelings at a certain point in time???)

Now, with the benefit of hindsight, here's my advice....

Lesson 3: Bros, if you feel that there is a certain feeling from her towards you (i dunno how to explain feelings...only you know) never never entertain such thought!!! It's destructive to your relationship with her. It will come out in the words you say to her and it will show in your actions...they will know...A strict NO-NO..

[Darkstorm]

Originally Posted by casannova03

THE DATING


Lesson 3: Bros, if you feel that there is a certain feeling from her towards you (i dunno how to explain feelings...only you know) never never entertain such thought!!! It's destructive to your relationship with her. It will come out in the words you say to her and it will show in your actions...they will know...A strict NO-NO..

Please explain Lesson 3....think I broke the rule....and I am not sure I understand why you have this rule......

[casannova03]

Continued.....

....So with the intent to find out more about these self-destructing and negative thoughts, i decided to find out from her. So i ask her one day at the pub " why you ask me dun come, you dun want to see me anymore right? well you can tell me straight and i wouldn't come from tomorrow" my tone was not exactly nice but not angry just a bit demanding......

She looked at me and wanted to say something "I....." then she walked away...I felt like a loser...lost!! Then i saw her at the corner near the pool table with her best friend beside her... I walked over and saw that her face was a mess!! Mascara was smeared and tears were flowing freely and her friend was try her best to console her...more of her friends start to come over...i felt like a criminal !! but i mean what did i do??

Her best friend pulled me away and all the way out of the pub...along the way, ppl were looking at me...i felt very embarrassed...once outside, her friend who can speak mandarin started to interrogate me....

"Ni gen ta jiang se mo? wei shen mo ta ku dao je yang?" Ni chi fu ta shi ma?"

I protested my innocence...." Mei you ah, wo chi shi wen ta wei shen mo yi chi jiao wo bu yao lai he jiu? then wo gen ta jiang ru kuo ta bu xiang kan tao wo de hua, chong ming tian kai shi wo yong yuan bu yao lai liao lor!"

Her best friend took a look at my face as if to see if i was lying....they are good lie detectors...haha.......then once she thinks that i am not lying, she replied<<i lazy to type hanyu pinyin sorry la ok>> " No wonder she cry until like that, sigh, why you so stupid?

Well, for a moment i felt stupid because i really dun know what the hell was going on!!!

Her best friend then said " you know what we are working as right?? you know how we earn money right? yes let ppl touch here and there then take tip ma..you everyday come and sit there how she work? She dun want you to see her working you understand??

I am still puzzled so i asked " why not? i dun understand...i also know her here what? to me nothing wrong ma!!"

She laughed " you virgin ah? first time have girlfriend is it?? which girl want the man they like to see them being touched and hugged by another man?? We know you can accept because you never say anything but she cannot accept ma...understand xiao di di???

For a while ,her best friend's face looked like Goddess of Mercy descending from the sky with the bright lights behind her head.....
I understood the full meaning of her words. My gal likes me...at least now i know she is true...i mean which WL got time to go one corner and cry and ignore her work...for another man....this was great news... but..

...i thought about my tone when i questioned her...shit...its so hurting...all she wants is to refrain me from seeing her being hugged and touched by other man...she is trying to protect my feelings and there i was doubting her and telling her if she dun like i wun come from tomorrow onwards... OUCH!! i am sure it hurts..

NOTE: Thus far, my communication with my wife was minimal. my Viet was laughfable and her english was basic... so most of the time, we use our limited knowledge and hand signs to communicate and a lot of things were felt in the heart and thru gentle touches and strokes of the face or hair....(you know what i mean??) So my wife was quite frustrated that she was not able to let me understand her well meaning intention and was even more sad when I said i will not not be around the next day.....

Lesson 4: Dun ASSUME...its the mother of all fucked-ups (to quote a certain bro from this forum). In a relationship with VN gals, With limited communication ability comes little understanding between each other and more tendency for misunderstandings... this must be handled with an open mind and sincere heart, patience helps too.

[casannova03]

Originally Posted by Darkstorm

Please explain Lesson 3....think I broke the rule....and I am not sure I understand why you have this rule......

ermm its not a rule la...Those lessons i highlighted in red are important points i felt bros in relationship with Vn gals should look out for...

As to why i highlighted lesson 3, read on and you will know....