Both me and wife working. Should I still give her monthly allowance?

[Blast88]

TS,

There will always 1 important statement in almost all wifey mentality ' my money is my own money, hubby money is everyone money'

[Greendevil]

Bro, your family matter onli u know best. We can't give u the solution cos end of the day, we are outsiders. Not even yr patent can tell u how u goin run yr little family.

Best u sit down and have a heart to heart talk. All boils down to both your income and commitment.

[weetek]

bro, i think that your monetary matters can only be assessed by you. in mine, we have our personal accounts and joint accounts. whatever goes in the joint account, either one can get from. that is like our shared money, and something that we are willing to let go. which means, that if the other decides to get every last dollar, you should be fine by it. and it gets filled monthly by equal amount coming from one another. that is our "allowance".

[Beasty]

If no give wife money, the husband voice not loud enough in the house. But if give too much money, next time suay suay divorce, wife will use it as an excuse to demand more maintenance money. Got to work out the sum yourself.

[hardworking48]

Husband and wife should have their own private bank account. Husband should pay some of the bills of the family and wife pays some of the bills. No need to say how much u pay total each month and start comparing wif each other. Like this is no team work liao.

Normally if arrangement is like this, then no need to give separate allowance. If go out makan, sometime you pay, sometimes she pays...no fixed rules but you must zhi dong (自动)....something like when u go out wif yr buddies.

If you do give yr wife some extra money, let her know that its because u love her and wan to show yr love by this sum of money...I think she will be v happy. Got bonus, keep some for yourself but the rest give to yr wife to keep...she will feel secure and happy wif you.

Money very sensitive issue...need to work out a system between the two of you. Good luck.

[justdifferent]

in this age and time, i think there are very few couples using a joint account.

perhaps my parents' generation would be one of the last batches with a fairly large number of them having such an arrangement.

nowadays, how many families do you see with only 1 working parent?

the common arrangement i see nowadays is both parties having their own bank accounts, with them taking turns paying for entertainment and eating expenses. bills are shared more or less equally.

i'm not at the age where my married friends have children old enough to warrant an allowance, so i don't know how that goes.

personally, i feel that your wife either

a. expects you to contribute to the household, while her money is hers for her to squirrel away - materialistic

b. knows about your chionging activities and wants to take away your spending power so you won't be able to chiong

if you're asking for advice here, then you're probably considering of not giving her the 1k so that you can chiong more.

my advice is: do not do anything first, and find out if it's option a or b. if she just wants more money because she expects you to spend all your money to take care of the house while she squirrels away her income or splurges it on extravagance, then definitely stop giving her an allowance.

if it's the latter, find out how much she knows, and what's her stand on it before proceeding with any action.

[valkyrierune]

base on my past experience, giving money to wife is not the solution for everything.

Or maybe its just me. If the hubby is paying so many things and both of them are getting same pay or so and the wife is not contributing something is very wrong.

Unless you are not paying for anything maybe housing via CPF only, giving allowance is fine. If not i guess both should share the burden.

My ex did confront me about the allowance issue and i straight away write down what i paid for the whole family and what had she paid for.

From that day onwards she did not even dare to mention anything about money issue even till after divorce

The money should be an additional income for them to save or spend on their free will or leisure since its really your hard earned money.

We do deserve a life and so did they. Be accountable on how much you spend and save.
Its not how much you earn but how much you save so if the wife treat your allowance as an income its not really right

[tipspecialist]

Originally Posted by TheArtist

Hi guys, I am a traditional person with a not so traditional hobby - chionging. Despite chionging stables here, I still give monthly allowance of 1k to wife monthly. She is working too and we are both earning about the same salary.

Recently she started complaining 1k not enough, Im like wtf? Ive heard of guys not even giving allowances to working wives, and you say 1k not enough. How much is enough then?

Just asking for opinion, now, in modern society, both spouses working, is it still understood that husband must give wife allowances? With rising costs and bills, I have been paying them off and reducing my hobby to almost non existence already. No mood.

Thanks guys

ultimately it depends on how much are you earning. if you are earning like 10k a month of course giving another grand is of no issue to you. but earning 5k a month and giving her another additional one grand seem stupid to me. I will ask her what expenses she is spending on. i believe in showering my spouse with love and not just money so a gift or a travel is a good way to expressing that too. hope this helps.

[Thai Rak Thai]

its a personal choice. my brother give his wife mum money although she earns more than him.

[mevius]

since both working . i think monthly allowance of 1 k is not bad liao , if me i will try to suggest to split bills half half each , use the extra allowance to go on holiday , like this than teamwork than love ma .. whahah

[Takashino]

Maybe just for home expenses.

[cmelater]

Just my side of the story.

I make over 10k per month. Wife makes 1/2 of what I bring home. We stay in a flat with no kids. I do not literally give monetary allowance because our household spendings is really negligible, as a percentage of take home pay. The most significant item is groceries, but that is.... how often and how much.

However, wife do ask for some reimbursement for household expenses. Its quite reasonable. The thing I don't like is "you have to pay more because you make more than me". Once I forgot to reimburse her and she kept barking for money..... I was like wtf.... wife not small income... still kpkp for money.

My simple approach to this is, don't let them see your financials and allow them an opportunity to budget their spendings based on your savings account balance. Its retarded.... And, this leads to further assumptions from wife like "you got the money what" and etc etc.

Asking for money isn't scary enough.... whats really scary is when you have a kid or more. The amount of allowance will be significant and going to be more scary than spending at ktv/ spa/ brothels/ fl. Go ktv/ spa/ brothels/ fl is still after all.... an avoidable expense. A kid's expense is never quite avoidable. Anyway, I think those bros with kids will appreciate this quite well.

Aside from wife's occasional nonsense about money, I feel somewhat heng not kid at the moment. Now still can just go holiday anytime or go ktv/ spa. Kids will be "game changing".... never assume they will grow smart and filial enough to take care of you. Make sure bank account got money retire first.

[nihabaashi]

Just give her a bit more...else she may start to quibble n ask how you spend your money?

Then the monitoring may affect your cheonging activities.

[wantanabee]

if mathematically 1k is really not enough, then perhaps to replan the expenditure on the family, might need to increase then.
However, if your family is unable to justify the 1k being put into good use then fishy.
she might have new spending on herself which u never know.
but end of the day, marriage is never fair. so u can feel the imbalance but don't get carrot.

[Summerhillt]

just thinking bro.. you give your wife $1k a month.. how much you give your parents and set aside how much to charity a month?