Is Marriage The Graveyard Of Love?

[dna_gene]

Originally Posted by Shuang_Jie_Gun

ur wife is lucky to have married u bro.Cheers bro.

Thanx! Just think that we men should be responsible for our own actions! Without responsibility, we are just boys!

[Alami]

My lifestyle changed when I met my wife to be. Before marriage, weekends are spent with my buddy from the army or old friends from sec sch. After marriage, weekends are spent with wife and sometimes with army buddy (when she worked ot).

Sex is no different after the children only sometimes cannot do when they sleep over.

There are ups and downs in a marriage and one party must be willing to give in. There is no who is right or wrong.

I am married 16 years and had many serious arguments but I never give up the marriage. After every argument, I get to understand my wife a little bit more. Some times I am at fault as one tends to get contended and forget the other's feelings.

Wife can be demanding and at times unreasonable. But when I am sick she is there to care for me and love me. It is a wonderful feeling!

[solidrock]

Originally Posted by AdGuy

"Love is not a feeling, it's a decision.

I prefer to look at love as a commitment with feelings.

Love without commitment is a mockery.
Love without feelings is a drudgery.

We cannot summon our feelings of love with an act of our will.
But we can muster our commitment to love regardless of how we feel.
.
.

[bigass]

in life bro, u make yr own decision. seriously many pple i met, if u wanna +++ abt true love, there aren't many out there. i got frends got being together for the sake of the word: "commitment", seriously i been with gals even that their love with their bf had faded but someone the yrs being together will make her stay together...

anihow changes take place everyday and its all depending on u and yr wife adapting to it. to me, its not a graveyard until yr children is born. u will tend to have more commitment and restrictions...

anihow this is just my conception, the final decision still lies on u. all the best

[LED...]

The problem does not lies with "Marriage"

Its the individual behind that makes the different.......

Life is already "tough" in Singapore........surfing SBF deciding which FL to bonk next.......... ..........learn to be contented and make life easy and hopefully happiness will follow.........

Its already difficult to satisfy your own demands sometimes.......so dont complicate matter if ya not ready to share your personel space with someone else...... U will know when ya ready, cos you will do stupid things just to make the other party smile and eventually strip for U.....

Let nature take its course.....................Enjoy life and be responsible "sometimes"

[Cummingliao]

Originally Posted by dna_gene

3) The way she treats you is different.
I'm not too sure about this. Maybe I have always shower her with care and love, there's not much different from the past, even despite the fact that she found out about my affairs outside. Then again, maybe that's because I'm simply lucky to find a sweet yet simple-minded wife...

Wow!!! How did you manage to find yourself such a big-hearted woman to be your wife? All the women I came across are very vicious and unforgiving if/when they found out their men had been cheating on them. You are really one lucky chap, but seriously, does your wife really don't mind when she found out about your affairs? Not even a moment of rage from her? A woman's heart is like ocean deep. Not easy to fully comprehend. Btw, no offence and touch wood, but would you be as big-hearted and forgiving as your wife, if you found out she is having an affair too?

[Cummingliao]

Originally Posted by Shuang_Jie_Gun

ur wife is lucky to have married u bro.Cheers bro.

Are you serious? It should be the other way round right?

[Cummingliao]

Originally Posted by LED...

Life is already "tough" in Singapore........surfing SBF deciding which FL to bonk next.......... ..........learn to be contented and make life easy and hopefully happiness will follow......... Let nature take its course.....................Enjoy life and be responsible "sometimes"

Chim... I catch no ball at all...

[plain]

Originally Posted by Cheri_Popper

I believed that a certain number of Samsters here are married.

Do you think

1) After getting married, your livestyle change

2) The feelings is just no like before when during BGR.

3) The way she treats you is different.

4) After the kids arrive, does your sex life with her ceased.

5) Would you seek to find love outside your marriage, to fill your loneliness.

6) Would you consider getting a divorce.

Your comments pls.

I have to disagree with the whole lot.

1. My lifesyle did not change, we're still going out and loves each other
2. We still treat each other like BGR
3. I still treat the same as I treated him when we were dating
4. No kids yet but i doubt sex life will change. we're too horny to stop LOL
5. 99% of men WILL find love with or without loneliness.
6. Divorce IS LAST resort if all else fails - but one must ALWAYS remember the vows we made to each other.

Its all in your head, every men tells another man the same thing "Once married, Life changes...." , Yes.. It changes but to Better or Worst, Its Up To You to make that change.

One must always remember to treat your partner better every day. needs to hands to clap for every thing. Both men & women MUST be sensitive to each other, without that.... difficult.

If you loose that BGR feeling, then before you start complaining, how about buying her some flowers for no reason ? a nice card would be nice too. You DON'T need to bring her to some fancy restaurant in New York just to make her happy. Its not a one night thing and buy her dinner and Every Thing is OK. It doesn't work that way....

[dna_gene]

Originally Posted by Cummingliao

Wow!!! How did you manage to find yourself such a big-hearted woman to be your wife? All the women I came across are very vicious and unforgiving if/when they found out their men had been cheating on them. You are really one lucky chap, but seriously, does your wife really don't mind when she found out about your affairs? Not even a moment of rage from her?

Haha! I never say she didn't kick a fuss or fume! Shit happened but at the end, all was well again... For me, I believe i'll try to handle it well if my wife cheats on me but doubt I'm really able to not feel a thing. Knowing well that I cheated on her first, I will forgive her but will let her make her decision whether to stay or go.

It is very different when a woman has an affair compared to men. Men having affairs are just for the fun, thrill and sex but women, the love and the disappointment with marriage. So end of day, men most probably will go back to their wives but women have high chances of leaving the marriage.

Nevertheless, I do agree that I'm very lucky to have found my wife.

[Cummingliao]

Originally Posted by dna_gene

Haha! I never say she didn't kick a fuss or fume! Shit happened but at the end, all was well again... For me, I believe i'll try to handle it well if my wife cheats on me but doubt I'm really able to not feel a thing. Knowing well that I cheated on her first, I will forgive her but will let her make her decision whether to stay or go.

It is very different when a woman has an affair compared to men. Men having affairs are just for the fun, thrill and sex but women, the love and the disappointment with marriage. So end of day, men most probably will go back to their wives but women have high chances of leaving the marriage.

Nevertheless, I do agree that I'm very lucky to have found my wife.

Thanks for replying. Thought you might want to know that I learnt something from your first post in this thread, although I couldn't comprehend on the rationale of you having affairs with other women, when you have such a wonderful wife waiting for you at home. Your views are so logical, that I couldn't buy your reason of having affairs were due to lust. Not sure if you agree with me, but I learnt that a person with logic thinking is normally a low or at most calculated risk-taker, whereas a person who has numerous affairs is considered a high risk-taker, especially if he is married. It just doesn't tally, does it... well, maybe I'm wrong. *shrugs*

[Rof|maoxz]

Originally Posted by Cheri_Popper

I believed that a certain number of Samsters here are married.

Do you think

1) After getting married, your livestyle change

2) The feelings is just no like before when during BGR.

3) The way she treats you is different.

4) After the kids arrive, does your sex life with her ceased.

5) Would you seek to find love outside your marriage, to fill your loneliness.

6) Would you consider getting a divorce.

Your comments pls.

Yes, I will stick with her till death parts us.

[Rof|maoxz]

Originally Posted by pilot2003

Bro, since u chose to marry her at the first place,u have to bear everything...
btw i not marry yet so i won't comment much about this...
different ppls got different views

Originally Posted by Cheri_Popper

Sometimes it beyond bearable.

There are actually pros and cons to a marriage. But then since you took that marriage vow so lan lan lo.

No no no, husband need not have to tolerate to his wife at all times, if there's need, pick up a fuss, or a quarrel. It's healthy!! Why bottle all grievances by yourself? When something happened, the wife will say to herself: "Why, why he has never talk to me about it before?"

[Ah Seng]

Originally Posted by Alami

My lifestyle changed when I met my wife to be. Before marriage, weekends are spent with my buddy from the army or old friends from sec sch. After marriage, weekends are spent with wife and sometimes with army buddy (when she worked ot).

Sex is no different after the children only sometimes cannot do when they sleep over.

There are ups and downs in a marriage and one party must be willing to give in. There is no who is right or wrong.

I am married 16 years and had many serious arguments but I never give up the marriage. After every argument, I get to understand my wife a little bit more. Some times I am at fault as one tends to get contended and forget the other's feelings.

Wife can be demanding and at times unreasonable. But when I am sick she is there to care for me and love me. It is a wonderful feeling!

Fully agreed with this>>>>>>>>>>>

[dna_gene]

Originally Posted by Cummingliao

Thanks for replying. Thought you might want to know that I learnt something from your first post in this thread, although I couldn't comprehend on the rationale of you having affairs with other women, when you have such a wonderful wife waiting for you at home. Your views are so logical, that I couldn't buy your reason of having affairs were due to lust. Not sure if you agree with me, but I learnt that a person with logic thinking is normally a low or at most calculated risk-taker, whereas a person who has numerous affairs is considered a high risk-taker, especially if he is married. It just doesn't tally, does it... well, maybe I'm wrong. *shrugs*

Hmmm... How should i answer you? Personally I don't find anything wrong with having affairs. I don't go looking for affairs but when they come to me, I'm almost 0% resistant as long as the gal looks pleasant with a good figure. For times I've been telling myelf that I should stop having affairs but whenever the opportunities came, i just accept again. Maybe i'm an opportunist, that's why.

I don't think that being logical with thinking means that one is low risk taker. It's totally different matter. Being logical just suggests that you know how to be more impartial, and doing the right things. On the other hand, being a high risk taker doesn't mean that you are always having the tendency of doing the wrong things. All it suggests is that you would tend to do things that have higher chances of failing, even if you are doing the right things!

Nevertheless, I'm definitely not saying that I'm doing no wrong by having affairs. I'm just doing what other men would have tend to do wrong too. After all i'm just a mere human, I'm venerable to sins too but at least I set principles that I would abide by.

Not sure did I answer what you are looking for but this is what I think about myself having affairs.