Guys Point of View

[matsuda]

Its called "personal time out"..........every individual have their own private moments to be alone. It does not amount to much even if he is masturbating away in his quiet moments. I guess you ought to respect that.

The bigger issue here if whether he is sick of making out with you so that so that he prefers to masturbate himself. That answer is yours to figure out and perhaps some non confrontation dialogue with him will give you a better idea.

[nuclearkid]

I am inclined to agree with siamcutey on the part of him getting a little tired of things the way they have been proceeding. Wouldn't go to the point of suggesting he is tired of you, just the sex part of the relationship. (And spanking the monkey is a much straightforward way of resolving a horny situation)

I do know of the declining frequency of bonks amongst my chums in marriages and long term relationships. In a way, I kowtow to those who can keep the flame going after many, many years, professing to have sex a couple of times a week. Heard of the joke about an old lady comparing her husband to a bull in a farm when he goes around doing it to every cow? His reply was that if there were different cows, he could do it everyday too. The point is: Variety is the spice of life.

I further add on to the discussion on the point if you intrigue your bf enough? Previously, I had a gf who was a bit of boring person and didn't really had much zest for life and was merely contented passing day to day. A very different outlook in life. I found her boring, sex with her boring and even seeing her, well, a little unproductive. The mental connection isn't there. The initial lust driven bonks have dissipated. So does everything else... Perhaps there is more to sex than just keeping it fresh? Its a personal perspective, the playing field of the conditions, am certain, is much bigger.

[Rof|maoxz]

There is absolutely nothing wrong to surf sex forum. Different men have their own preference, it's like watching a Porn/RA movies. If such pastimes are being restricted, den I think there's some lack of security in you or your guy simply wants to find a channel to de-stress himself.

If he is not wanking himself.... He might be like thousands of other bros in this forum going for others sources of sex, at least this way he is still at home with you....

[fenni]

thanks for all the replies.
in other aspects of relationship, i can say we are rather close or in other words, i'm quite happy with the relationship except for the sex part.

anyway, i searched the forum for bukkake.. hmm. totally turns me off.

somehow, i think there's lack of security in me then. cause he cheated me in the past, thus, i feel uptight about small little things in our relationship. sometimes, i do wonder why am i still with him.haha

[Optimus_Prime]

Originally Posted by fenni

anyway, would u guys rather "do it yourself" than with ur partner?
cause everytime i'm asleep or i'm away, he will have his own "past time".
which i find annoying. n he tells me any guys feel that way too? I don't know whether he's telling the truth or he's just sick of me.

ASSUMPTION #1
everytime i'm asleep or i'm away, he will have his own "past time".
Er... how would you know he's engaging in this "past time" esp since u're either in Zzzz land or not in the vicinity ??

And in a normal r/s, it's natural for u to be angry but for us cheongsters...we see it in different light. Ur guy is exposed to this forum and yet he remains faithful and jus wanks off his sexual frustrations. To me... that's commentable alreadi.


ASSUMPTION #2
he tells me that it's way easier n less effort to do it himself!
Actually it is easier to wank off.. if like most guys, he's been doing it since he reached puberty or even earlier... PRACTICE makes perfect... probably can release very fast too...

On other hand, he's only been doing it with u for...months?? years??

w/o knowing any of the details of your sex life, we can't assume too much but when guys rather wank off than have sex with their gfs usually mean 2 things - stress or he does not DIG u as much sexually... (sorry that's the truth)


ASSUMPTION #3
that it's way easier n less effort to do it himself!
Hmmm... can I ask if are u always in the mood for sex and he's not ? Or vice-versa ?? It could be due to different sex drive. At this age (assuming he's same age as u), his sex drive is at his peak... sowing his seeds is upmost in his mind. Gals usually only peak sexually when they hit 28-30, so u are still on the upward slope (of cus this is generalisation and varies from case to case)

Anyway... it could be he wants sex at certain times and you are either not around or too tired, so instead of creating the moood to arouse u again...he jus wanks off. Easier and no fuss.... Well that's one way of looking at it.

Another way... are you able to feel aroused when having sex ?? It may be you need more time and foreplay to arouse while your bf wants a quickie... seriously a lot of scernaios as u have provided quite sparse details.

PS: Ur last post was half a year ago... so u caught ur bf surfing SBF then ?? Or u only just realised he's a samster ?

The League of ExTra HorNy GentleMEN & SeXy LADIES

[Optimus_Prime]

Originally Posted by fenni

in other aspects of relationship, i can say we are rather close or in other words, i'm quite happy with the relationship except for the sex part.

somehow, i think there's lack of security in me then. cause he cheated me in the past, thus, i feel uptight about small little things in our relationship. sometimes, i do wonder why am i still with him.haha

Hmmm... a TRUST issue.....

Well just do things to slowly build back the TRUST... or else you'll always be jumping at shadows.

Why u are still with him...simple... deep down u still can't let go....

anyway hope everything work out

Originally Posted by fenni

and pls do not give lewd comments ya?

Hello, this is a sex forum.

[Blue_gal]

Originally Posted by Optimus_Prime

Hmmm... a TRUST issue.....

Well just do things to slowly build back the TRUST... or else you'll always be jumping at shadows.

Why u are still with him...simple... deep down u still can't let go....

anyway hope everything work out

agree~

trust is 1 BIG part of the r/s....
it is not "build" in 1 day but DAYS after DAYS slowly in the heart ...

withOUT it your r/s is full of GUESSING gamesss...
in the end you will "END" the r/s sooner or later.....

Good LUck!

[fenni]

Originally Posted by Optimus_Prime

Another way... are you able to feel aroused when having sex ?? It may be you need more time and foreplay to arouse while your bf wants a quickie... seriously a lot of scernaios as u have provided quite sparse details.

yes this is true. cause he's not into foreplay at all and always wan to just jump into the main course. at the beginning of the r/s it was like a everyday kind of thing. but now years has passed and it becomes like once a week only. i can understand that the sex part wears off after some time of the r/s.

[fenni]

oh i missed out the how i know he's doing it when i'm away or im sleeping. cause i've caught him several times, even when i'm having breakfast, i saw the door close, so i just check it out. yeah.
i'm not a heavy sleeper, thus i do wake up sometimes in the middle of the night. he usually sleeps very very late, while i sleeps like 10 at nite, as im very tired from work.

[Optimus_Prime]

Originally Posted by fenni

yes this is true. cause he's not into foreplay at all and always wan to just jump into the main course. at the beginning of the r/s it was like a everyday kind of thing. but now years has passed and it becomes like once a week only. i can understand that the sex part wears off after some time of the r/s.

Sounds like you guys are cohabiting... well again just my ASSUMPTIONS but the probelm could be the following:

U not aroused enuff so sex is maybe painful ?? or at the very least not as enjoying as he probably shof off just abt the same time u are starting toenjoy urself.

And to be frank, do u look forward to sex with him at all ?? Ur reactions to him initiating sex could be one reasons why he does "his own thing". Anyway the fault here I think lies in him as he totally skipped the foreplay part. (PASSION can only last so long... the rest of the intimacy u need plenty f time to build on it)

Ok... probably show him how proper foreplay can make your sessions better.

Remember when u gys just kissed and frenched all day... relive those days. Guide his hands to your sensitive bits... teach him how to carress... soft..hard...

U oso might want to do some foreplay as well.. when he wants to poke it in... u could push him back on the bed.. slowly straddle him and start kissing his neck and slowly run your tongue down to his nipples.. give them a good tongue-lashing.

And slowly kiss and lick your way south... u tease him w/o actually touching his groin areas... that should drive him wild....(Roleplay in your mind.... pretend u're a bad gal seducing him...)... and either give him a slow bj or proceed to fj... either way he should be begging u by now...

TRY it next time and see if SEX btw u guys improve.

[Thai Rak Thai]

Originally Posted by fenni

I don't know whether he's telling the truth or he's just sick of me.

Just relax sis...you think too much. When a man doesn't love a woman, he will say it

[Optimus_Prime]

Originally Posted by Thai Rak Thai

Just relax sis...you think too much. When a man doesn't love a woman, he will say it

unless he's those "chicken balls" type that rather the women initiate the break-up... then his "patterns" will appear...

[CheG]

The focus of everyone's reply so far seems more towards the sex issue. Don't you think that this is really a symptom rather than a cause?

I know this answer sounds like some new age psychology but since your seeking a few points of view and there are many details regarding your problem we do not know, another viewpoint won't hurt.

You said that he's cheated on you in the past. What exactly did he do? You see because of men's emotional makeup, for many men, sex is seen as a bodily function, climax has to be achieved just as often as pickign your nose or taking a dump. To me, cheating is when you develop feelings for the girl beyond just wanting to use her as a means to cum.

If your boyfriend, based on the definition above has actually cheated on you, then it is time to really examine your relationship and you reasons for staying together. For yourself, if you were truly honest with yourself, do you stay with him out of comfort and complacency? Because it may be that you have a problem with trust in your relationship because of incidents such as his cheating. Maybe as a result you cannot truly get comfortable and intimate with him. Something is holding you back. Personally, if someone cheats on me once, I cannot trust that person anymore because he/she will do it again. If the relationship has actually broken down irreparably on a fundamental level on your part. Maybe it's time to recognise that he's not the one for you.