Hard to be malay abang in dating

[squiggle]

Finding gf is not something easy. If we want to talk about relationship, sex and girls. We can even have a bachelor course for them, because girls are much more complex to understand than guys. As they have higher expectations for guys than guys looking for in them.

You can train up your body, mix around with more people as friends and just putting relationship as last/bonus.

Girls looking for our qualities/personality, fashion sense, job, communication skill and etc.

[arsenal_84]

well, i'll too have a long time of being single.
frankly speaking, i hardly have the urge to go into dating despite my mom harping on my age and changing careers every 2 to 3 years.
completed my part time degree late into my early 30s and is still in the midst of establishing my career, particularly seeking jobs with better work life balance.

maybe once you completed your degree, can consider SDN events then see how it goes.

[chaoslord]

My advice: focus on your studies and ensure you have a good career. $$$ goes a long way in the dating world.

You are young which is a disadvantage relative to your older peers race notwithstanding. The truth is the older you get the better you become in terms of attractiveness to the opposite gender. Men mature later, and based on your post your insecurities shows through. Stop playing the victim card, Man up, realise the world is “unfair” and get on with it.

[Timidshyboy]

Thank you all for the wonderful insights. Im currently not looking to date someone. I'll leave it to fate at the moment. Now I wanna focus in building a career. I do get lonely sometimes as no one really understands me except for some girl with a cat photo I matched on tinder. Neither of us showed our real face but our conversation was so deep that it's like I'm literally talking to someone I've known for decades. It's weird. I really want to meet that girl with that cat photos in real life. But I think I shared too much regarding how horny am I hahaha

[Timidshyboy]

Originally Posted by TomMAffolter

Pretend you are a girl and you saw a guy make a post like you just did, would you think wow this is a real man, that would one day protect me and make my life better, or would you think what a weak pitiful man.
The truth is you ARE SHORT, and thats a big disqualifier, i dont know if you are UGLY but maybe you are, in singapore maybe being malay is a disadvantage. THESE ARE FACTS, you cannot change that by going online and seeking ADVICE or seeking consolation. THIS CAN ONLY BE ameliorated by MAKING LOTS of MONEY so you can be SHORT BUT RICH, get plastic surgery and not be so UGLY, have money to move to say INDONESIA where men are not so tall and being malay isnt a disavantage.
BUT HONESTLY as you are not ignoring you obvious disadvantages you are a weak and pitiful speciman of a man and for that fact alone you wont get much interest from women

Exact answer I was looking for. It's so bold yet straight forward. I really can't thank you enough. Everyone been sugar coating saying it's not my race and my height. Now that you mentioned it, I think I can safely just retreat back so I don't get hurt any further. The truth hurts but I'm willing to accept my fate as a lonely ugly Malay men who can't even get a women to love. Even with all the confidence I have, I still would be shortchange due to height and race. Money does make you look better but I'm not in pursuit of money. So yeah, I can understand why your post sounds harsh but it's the truth.

I now can live a life where im not oblivious about my looks, height and race. I know where I stand now. May look ugly that I'll probably die alone but oh well... That's what happen you're born under a Malay family who are short. But no worries, I'll try my best to keep myself happy. I know I can 🙂

[larue]

Originally Posted by Timidshyboy

Exact answer I was looking for. It's so bold yet straight forward. I really can't thank you enough. Everyone been sugar coating saying it's not my race and my height. Now that you mentioned it, I think I can safely just retreat back so I don't get hurt any further. The truth hurts but I'm willing to accept my fate as a lonely ugly Malay men who can't even get a women to love. Even with all the confidence I have, I still would be shortchange due to height and race. Money does make you look better but I'm not in pursuit of money. So yeah, I can understand why your post sounds harsh but it's the truth.

I now can live a life where im not oblivious about my looks, height and race. I know where I stand now. May look ugly that I'll probably die alone but oh well... That's what happen you're born under a Malay family who are short. But no worries, I'll try my best to keep myself happy. I know I can 🙂

No one has been sugar coating anything at all. You have latched on to a very narrow line of reasoning on his entire post to carry on feeling sorry for yourself for being short/Malay/whatever and completely ignoring the upshot of his post, which is ‘you are a weak and pitiful specimen of a man’ (not even mainly because you are short/Malay/whatever).

Stay pathetic, seems to be doing you a world of good.



hi

[Timidshyboy]

Originally Posted by larue

No one has been sugar coating anything at all. You have latched on to a very narrow line of reasoning on his entire post to carry on feeling sorry for yourself for being short/Malay/whatever and completely ignoring the upshot of his post, which is ‘you are a weak and pitiful specimen of a man’ (not even mainly because you are short/Malay/whatever).

Stay pathetic, seems to be doing you a world of good.



hi

Thanks man. Don't mind me, I'm a just a phatetic piece of meat typing through

[kurtis]

try JB lah

got a short and ugly Malay friend who got married to a Malaysian girl.

since you said you are not that bad looking, I'm sure you can find a good ones.

why set your sight so near, should set it far far.

Local girls are just too superficial.

[peanodood1337]

Originally Posted by Timidshyboy

Thanks man. Don't mind me, I'm a just a phatetic piece of meat typing through

Dude do you want tough love or TLC?

If you're looking for morale boosters and insincere cheerleading, you can get it from your friends and family any time. "Oh you'll meet someone eventually! Just be yourself and the person who love you for who you are will appear!" Is that what you wanna hear?

You came here with a problem and when some bros gave you a dose of brutal honesty, you did the passive-aggressive "don't mind me I'm just a pathetic guy" schtick. Seriously man if you wanna fix your problem, you gotta cut this nonsense out. Its really disgusting for a guy to behave like this. Even without taking your physical attributes into the equation, you have already lost out to so many other guys because of your attitude.

Larue has given you some pretty good ideas to follow through on. Work on yourself. Be someone that you would wanna date if you are a girl. Ok you're short but so what? If you have other positive traits (e.g. good conversationalist, humorous, generous, treats girls right, rich enough to wine-and-dine etc.), you can more than make up for it.

And playing the race card because you can't get a date? You gotta be joking. I see Malay guys with Chinese gfs on the streets from time to time. And nope, its not like those guys are super tall or handsome either. Be honest - you're just making excuses for yourself here.

Above all else, lose the self-pitying attitude. Its terribly unattractive. Even as a guy, I wouldn't wanna be your friend cos evidently, you are too self-absorbed and depressing to be around with. Think about it, it takes time to make money, time to train up a fit bod, time to cultivate sophistication. But you can change your attitude IMMEDIATELY.

So wake up and smell the coffee dude. Lose the loser mentality. You are young, with lots of potential for growth. Don't waste the best years of your life feeling sorry for yourself.

Good luck.

[devilborne87]

Being single is nothing. Try improving yourself...be chill....dun be a despo......be friendly and nice....u will meet someone who will like you.....
Been through it....was single for 7 years...life continues....

FYI : when u r single....u want to be attached.....when u r attached....you miss being single

[slackin80]

Don't be too hard on yourself

Sometimes when you don't try too hard to find it, it comes to you.

[EtherC]

“Oh fate Oh how it fucks with me... so sad”

Yea well fate fucks with everyone and for some it fucks them through the nose!

You are part of the 2nd largest race in Sg , privileged enough to attend uni, can afford to go to a gym , go out makan with your friends, has access to internet/clean water/air conditioning etc.

Farmers in Indonesia villages earn just 5 dollars a day. They go without tap water, mcdonalds, education & work under the sun all day.

By whining here doesn’t it make u seem worse off than a poor indonesian farmer who can get a wife despite such limited resources? Its not what you have or are that matters, its what you make of it.

[randyrockhard]

Ask yourself this question.

Would you date YOU? in whatever permutations possible, just see how you could improve yourself. If you are still studying, focus on your studies, be really good at something that you could use for your future.

Practice speaking and listening to women. Start with the ones you are not too intimidated with. And gradually build your confidence from there.

Women.. be them old or young, would gravitate towards confident men, successful men.

I can tell you a real life story about a Malay Singaporean 40 something guy who isn't exactly the best looking bunch, but he drives a BMW and live in a Condo and he dates women from various countries.

Why do you think we hardly see a good-looking young guy in a Lamborghini/Porsche but old balding men? Because if you don't compensate your lack of good looks with something else (wealth, communication skill) .. you'll be screwed for life ....

[Jamester999]

Hi TS,

Just wanna share some opinions too, on top of other people's good advises.

Some people will NEVER EVER be better looking in photos than other people (like me for instance).

You should instead meet (physically meeting) real people. Join meetup groups, get into hobby groups etc. Focus on building real relationships (not just boy-girl-relationships). These will have multiple advantages for you, and most important, it is how people get to know and understand you pass online photos and text chatting. Also, if you have social issues, that is where you can find out and maybe try to fix that.

PS : don't limit yourself to only meeting people from your circle or age group. Mix it up a little.

Life is long. you're young. You'll have your chance.
But learn to love yourself more, build your character, and carry that confidence around. Find good friends. Try to get pass your issue mentally and emotionally, don't let it grow in your heart, else scali one day you become a creep socially then jialat liao.

[WhiteRabbit9013]

Here is my advice. Don't find a GF. Just go around dating.

If you are uncomfortable with dating, because of self confidence? Then go for massage *hint*. Have fun. Loosen up. Be comfortable around girls. Then it will improve your confidence. Improve how you talk to girls. How you make an impression. How you walk and talk even. The key is to be comfortable around girls and not try too hard. Be confident. Go massage.. it helps.. start talking to these girls. Flirt with them. You got nothing to lose. Improve your flirting techniques and that will also improve your confidence.

Be comfortable with yourself. Go and enjoy life. Travel solo (no parents no buddies) to some strange country. I went to India for a month, went to Tibet for 3 months, and Nepal for another month. Came back a different person. Helps you build your confidence.

All the best. You are still v young. Enjoy more