Happily Married with an ex WL(VN)

[casannova03]

Originally Posted by oshkosh

Hi to all here.

All I would like to say is a big Thank you to Casanova for your wonderful and real life insight into marrying/ being married to an ex wl.

No problem. There are actually many more people that i know that went thru the same things. Its just that they do not want to share or they are afraidof the repercussions.

I am just one of those that shared! No big deal really.

[oshkosh]

yea, there is always this stigma or taboo about marrying a foriegner.

like you, i also have to tell the truth but not the whole truth

haha.

[NewandLost]

Originally Posted by casannova03

And my question to you is why answer a question or help request with another question?

If you do not have what it takes to offer any positive help, then you shld keep quiet. No body is asking your opinion on whether he should choose a WL or a SG gal here.

Get your bearings right k!

This is not the first time you are going to VN related threads to disturb and contribute your anti-viet WL ideas! Why dun you go surf some great pron contributions, wank off and go sleep instead of disturbing others?

Get a life!

braddah i appreciate your comments on the question for question and respect that. but the respect is nullified by the wank comment. right back at you braddah.

[casannova03]

Originally Posted by NewandLost

braddah i appreciate your comments on the question for question and respect that. but the respect is nullified by the wank comment. right back at you braddah.

No really! You shld do just that!

[NewandLost]

Originally Posted by casannova03

No really! You shld do just that!

get a life. you know you dont even fit into SG society.

[hosayboh]

Originally Posted by NewandLost

get a life. you know you dont even fit into SG society.

huh!! Kindly elaborate how u deem fit.
In my opinion, SG is all about money and i tink Bro Cass is definitely not below average to say the least.

[spacehawk]

Curses are like young chickens; they always come home to roost.

[beldoeri]

Originally Posted by casannova03

...Continued

Challenges 2 - Coping with YOUR family (Part 2)

... I think the last scene of my mom holding a chopper sort of sum up my rocky relationship with her.... and it did not improve even till the day of my ROM.

After I left my house, i stayed at a rented apartment with my wife and her friends, like i menetioned earlier. During this period of time, i was all out there on my own, meaning i have to study,worked part time after studies, so that i could pay for the rental and my petrol and living expenses.

Contact with my family was at the minimum, with me and my wife turning up for the occasional birthday dinners of my grandparents and cousins. Even during these occasions, i would not talk to my mom and only to my dad and my brother and sister. Somehow, news spread and my other family members such as my uncles and aunties would come up to me and asked me about what happened and i would have to assure them that all is well.

Well, this 'cold war' between me and my mom was on-going even up to the day of my ROM. This is what happened....

When i have registered for the ROM, I called my dad and told him about it cos i have named him as one of the witnesses for the solemnization day. He asked me if i have considered it properly and i told him yes. Then he asked me to call my mom personally and inform her as a gesture of respect. Well, i did as instructed and informed my mom about it and even discussed about the reception for relatives such as whether to have a buffet reception or not.

Of course there was the usual bickering during the phone conversation but she knew i had made up my mind about it so there was nothing she can do..THEN, one day before the ROM, i called my dad and reminded him that tomorrow was the solemnization and asked him not to forget. He then ask me to remind my mom personally as well....

I did that as well..." Mom, dun forget tomorrow at XX.XXam at ROM ok!"

Her reply shocked me!!!!

"What ROM? how come you never tell me anything about it? You still regard me as your mom?"

"This type of thing so important and you have the cheek to tell me just one day before the ROM! what kind of a son are you?!!"

I erupted!!!

"You dun try to deny it ok, two weeks ago i did call you and inform you ok!!! we even discussed about the buffet reception and now you are trying to say you dun know anything about it?"

Mom:

"No! nothing at all!! and i am telling you I will not be going! neither is your dad for i am not allowing him to go!! "

In the end, my mom did not turn up for the ROM and i asked my dad not to come too. Not because i did not want him to but i know the kind of trouble and dilemna he will be in due to the pressure from my mom. My mom will always blame my dad for spoiling me from young la..Blar blar blar and its always my dad's fault for everything....

So, i had to do a last min change of witness on the actual day to make sure the ROM goes thru!!

In conclusion, i think many of those who are in the process of getting married should not have gone thru what did. It should be a lot more easier and smoother.

My point is:

Like i always said, with the benefit of hindsight, i am able to tell you what i feel is the most important or the way out of such situtions.

You do need to know how to handle the objections and the questions from your family members. It may be telling them the truth about how you know her and where you know her, and hope that the will be able to accept your decison. Or it may be telling a 'white lie' as to where and how you met her. For me, i used a combination of both - a bit of truth and a bit of 'white lie'. At the end of the day, you have to be ready to answer to your family for they are the most important people in your life.

Remember! your job is not to antagonise either your family or your wife. It is to reconcile the differences, the cultural gap and the prejudices. Using some time to educate and meeting up more helps to build up the relationship between family and wife.

Why i say so is because, although i had a torrid relationship with my mom in the beginning of the relationship with my wife, everything is fine now. Its all about communication, understanding one another and knowing the point of view of your family. Talk to one another to work out the worries and concerns. It is the best way towards a harmonious relationship.

Today, my mom is on good terms with my wife and me. They often go shopping together and occasionally buy things for each other....(but never buy for me!!!)....I must say this is something that is wonderful and i sincerely hope all bros with VN wives will be able to enjoy such wonderful relationship between mom and wife!!

Cheers!!

this is really sweet
bro, i sincerely wish tat you and ur wife 白头到老

[billgates]

I have read until pg 9 but I will definitely come back to finish up. Thanks for sharing a touching story. Really very well written and expressed, seems like you r writing frm the heart.

Anyway here's wishing you all the best and hanh phuc in the future with your lovely wife.

Ignore those ignorant losers who can't seem to understand that WL, too, are human beings.

Cheers, mate!

[casannova03]

Originally Posted by NewandLost

get a life. you know you dont even fit into SG society.

Really? You think I care about what you think of me?

You're broke!!!!

[casannova03]

Originally Posted by billgates

I have read until pg 9 but I will definitely come back to finish up. Thanks for sharing a touching story. Really very well written and expressed, seems like you r writing frm the heart.

Anyway here's wishing you all the best and hanh phuc in the future with your lovely wife.

Ignore those ignorant losers who can't seem to understand that WL, too, are human beings.

Cheers, mate!

Thanks bro! I am writing from the heart.

Those losers? Haha...just let them be. The forum is just about their last form of entertainment and best friend.

They are already having a hard time in real life why try to make them more unhappy in the forum. That's like taking away their last recluse no? I am not so bad a person, really, I'll give them the space if they need it.

At the end of the day, I dun earn a cent or lose a dollar by their comments! So why be bothered?

[jackbl]

But u make me sad U say wan to jio me go out, buy me beer, but I waited very long

Originally Posted by casannova03

At the end of the day, I dun earn a cent or lose a dollar by their comments! So why be bothered?

[casannova03]

Originally Posted by jackbl

But u make me sad U say wan to jio me go out, buy me beer, but I waited very long

Haha. Dun worry la! I will when i am free.

[vagrant]

Originally Posted by casannova03

Haha. Dun worry la! I will when i am free.

My thanks to you bro, was really full that day...burp...

[AhMin]

Nice reading of all pages here ...
Well done Bro Casa for sharing ....
My heart feel better now , even though its still empty cos my bx left n went back hme ...