All you need to know about "Marriage/Divorce" under the SG Law

[Big Sexy]

My children are living with me. I do not want my children to keep in touch with my spouse as he/she is violent/addicted to drugs or alcohol etc. My spouse will be a bad influence on my children/My spouse will pose a danger to the children. Can I stop my spouse from seeing the children? Can I be present if the court allows my spouse to see the children?

You can ask the court to order that your spouse does not get access to the children. But you should be aware that access is generally granted to the non-custodial parent (see above threads) and will only be denied if access harms the child more than it benefits the child. One option the court may consider is to make an order for supervised access. In other words, access is granted on the condition that the other parent or a third party is present throughout access. Supervision may be needed where the non-custodial parent may not be capable of handling the children on his own, or where there may be some concerns with respect to his interaction with the children. Whether supervised access will be ordered and who should supervise the access will be decided based on what the welfare of the children requires.

[Big Sexy]

I don't mind my spouse seeing my children, but I do not want him/her to see my children with his or her new partner/friends/family members etc. What can I do?

You can see if you can come to an agreement with your spouse that he/she spend the access time with the children alone, and not bring them to see his or her new partner/friends/family members. If your spouse cannot agree, then you can ask the court to order that your spouse spend the access time with the children alone, and not bring them to see his or her new partner/friends/family members. You will however have to show that having contact with these other persons harm the children, for example, the children feel uncomfortable with these persons and are disturbed by access as a result.

[Big Sexy]

I am afraid that my spouse may kidnap my children and take them overseas, and I will never see them again. What can I do?

Under the Women's Charter, once a custody order is made in respect of a child, it is a criminal offence to take the child out of Singapore for more than one month without the written consent of both parents or the permission of the court. If you fear that your children may be taken overseas, you may, in addition, apply for an express order that neither you nor your spouse can take the children overseas without the permission of the other party or the court and an order that the passport of the children be retained by you while the children are with your spouse. In your application, you should state why you would like this order to be made, and why you feel it is necessary. The court will decide whether it is in the best interests of your children to make these orders. It will also consider the likelihood that your spouse would take the children overseas without your permission, for example: Which country might your spouse take the children to? Is your spouse a citizen of that country? Does your spouse have a job or a family overseas? Would your spouse find it easy to obtain a job overseas or permanent residency/citizenship in a foreign country?

[Big Sexy]

What is the position with regard to my children who are:
- above 21 years of age?
- above 21 years of age but who are mentally or physically disabled?
- above 21 years of age but who are still schooling?

If your children are above 21 years of age, whether they are still schooling or not, and whether they are physically disabled or not, the court will not make any orders regarding custody or access, because such children are considered as adults, and able to make their own decisions on which parent they want to live with (or indeed, if they want to live with either parent at all), and when they would like to see the parent that they do not live with. However, if your children are above 21 years of age but still schooling, then they may apply for maintenance from you until they finish schooling.

If your children are above 21 years of age but mentally disabled, then they may apply for maintenance from you. You will have to apply for a Committee to be appointed under the Mental Disorders Act to decide all matters pertaining to these children, such as where they will live, and who will take care of them. You may wish to seek legal advice on how to go about applying for such a Committee to be appointed.

[Big Sexy]

What can the court do to help it to come to a decision on custody and access?

The court may do one or all of the following, to help it come to a decision:

(a) Order a Social Welfare Report from the Ministry of Community Development and Sports ("MCDS") or a Custody Evaluation Report from a Family Court counsellor. A social worker or counsellor will interview you, your spouse and the children, as well as any other significant third party, and write a report to the court. This report is confidential. You will not get to see the report unless the court expressly allows you to.

(b) Interview the children at the ancillary matters hearing. You, your spouse or your lawyers may not sit in at the interview between the judge and the children. The judge will usually not reveal what the children have said to you, your spouse or your lawyers. You should not ask your children what they said to the judge.

(c) Appoint a Court-Appointed-Counsel, if the court feels that the case is a very acrimonious one. The Court-Appointed-Counsel is a senior lawyer, experienced in family law, who is a "friend of the court". He will investigate the matter, interview your children, and present his views on the case to the court at the hearing. He may also try to settle matters amicably between you and your spouse.

In appropriate cases, the court may order parents to attend programmes to educate them on how to relate to each other as parents, and how to handle issues of access after divorce and separation. The Family and Juvenile Justice Centre (FJJC) conducts parenting workshops for parents who are ordered by the court to do so. If the parents do not attend the programmes as ordered, the court will review (re-consider) the custody and access order it has made.

[Big Sexy]

Do I need a lawyer to help me with proceedings involving my children? What if I can't afford a lawyer?

You can, if you wish, conduct the proceedings yourself. However, you must ensure that the documents that you file in ("give to") the court are in the correct format, and are "stamped" (i.e. court fees must be paid for each document filed in court). There are rules as to which documents must be filed at different stages of the proceedings, and there are also legal arguments that you may have to make if the matter is contested or is a complex one. The court is not able to give you any legal or procedural advice. So if you are conducting the proceedings yourself, you cannot expect to obtain any assistance or advice from the court. If, at any stage, you are unsure of what to do or say, then you may wish to obtain the assistance of a lawyer.
If you cannot afford a lawyer, you may wish to apply to the Legal Aid Bureau for assistance. However, you will have to satisfy the "Means Test" and "Merits Test" to qualify for legal aid. For more details, you may wish to view the website of the Legal Aid Bureau.

[Big Sexy]

Must my children choose which parent they want to follow?

Your children will not be forced to choose between their parents, as to who they wish to live with. If they wish, they may express their views to court as to which parent they would like to stay with. But the court will not automatically approve their choice. The court will make a decision that it feels is in the best interests of the child. The weight that it gives the child's views will depend on the child's age. The court will consider these views in the light of all the other factors in the case.

[Big Sexy]

Will my children be able to give their views to the Court? Will they have to come to Court to speak to the judge?

here are two kinds of "judges" in court that your children can give their views to. One is the hearing judge, who will decide the children's issues for you and your spouse. The other is the court mediator, who will not make any decision in the matter, but who will (if you and your spouse agree to attend mediation) help you to settle the matter without going for a court hearing.

There are a number of ways in which your children can give their views to the hearing judge. Some examples are set out below:

(a) The court may order that the Ministry of Community Development and Sports ("MCDS") do a Social Welfare Report on the children or order the Family Court counsellor to do a Custody or Access Evaluation Report. The court may also appoint a Court Appointed Counsel to interview the child and represent his best interest.

(b) The judge may decide to speak to the children at the court hearing. Neither you or your spouse will be present at this interview, and what your children say to the judge during this interview is confidential. You should not ask your children what they said to the judge.

he court mediator will usually not speak to your children directly, though he may decide to do so. More commonly, he will send your children to speak to a court counsellor, to whom they can express their views. These views will then be communicated by the court counsellor to the court mediator (but not to the hearing judge). The court mediator will suggest ways in which you and your spouse can settle the children's issues amicably, based on his knowledge of your children's views, but he will not tell you exactly what your children have told the court counsellor.

[Big Sexy]

My spouse and I are considering divorce proceedings. My spouse is telling my children "bad things" about me which are untrue. What can I do?

In practical terms, you cannot stop your spouse saying "bad things" about you to the children. You should not say "bad things" about your spouse in return. You should just concentrate on building or maintaining a good relationship with your children. It would be advisable if both you and your spouse could maintain a good relationship with each other as the parents of your children. In this regard, you may wish to suggest to your spouse that you attend counselling to discuss parenting issues together, and learn how to work together as parents.

If your divorce proceedings have already started, and you are worried that the "bad things" your spouse is saying to the children will have an impact on the custody and access dispute between you and your spouse, you can ask for your children to speak to a court counsellor, or for a Social Welfare Report to be ordered by the court, or for a Court-Appointed Counsel to be appointed [see previous questions], to enable their true views to be made known to the court.

[Big Sexy]

[SIZE=5]I want to see my children and I believe that my children want to see me. My spouse/in-laws are threatening my children into saying that they do not want to see me. Will this affect my chances of getting access to the children? What can I do about it? [/SIZE]

The views of the children are ascertained through a report or by the judge interviewing the children (see previous question ). If you fear that your children may not express their real feelings because of threats, you may inform the counsellor accordingly. Reports are prepared by court counsellors or social workers, who are trained professionals. Though your children may tell the court counsellor that they do not want to see you, the counsellor is trained to assess the situation, and will not automatically take their word for it. The counsellor will make notes of the interview with the children, as well as any conclusions that he comes to. Similarly, you may relay your fear to the judge hearing the case. If the judge wishes to speak to the children, the interview will be conducted privately, in the absence of both parents, so that the children may give their views candidly.

[sexlover]

Well Done bro. Good Effort

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[Big Sexy]

I only want a divorce. Can I not deal with the issue of the children during the divorce?

No. You must deal with the issue of the children during the divorce. If suitable arrangements for the children are not made for the children's welfare, the court will not allow you to obtain the Decree Nisi Absolute, which is the certification that your marriage is ended.

[Big Sexy]

What does "getting custody, care and control" of my children mean? Who can get "custody, care and control" of my children? What is the difference between "custody" and "access"?

Having "custody" means that you will have the power to make major decisions in the child's life, such as education, medical treatment and religious upbringing of the child. Either you or your spouse can have sole custody of your children. Alternatively, you and your spouse may have "joint custody" of the children. This means that you and your spouse will have to make joint decisions on the major issues in the child's life.
Both parents can have joint custody, but usually only one parent will have "care and control". Having "care and control" means that the child will live with you, and you will have the power to make the day-to-day decisions that affect the child's life, such as what time he goes to bed at night. Sometimes, "care and control" of the child may be given to a person who is not the child's parent, such as a grandmother or aunt.

Access is the right of the non-custodial parent (the parent who does not stay with the children) to see the children.

[Big Sexy]

I would like to change the court order concerning the children. What can I do and how would the court deal with the matter?

If you are unhappy with the orders made by the court, you should file an appeal against the order. It is advisable to seek legal advice on how to file an appeal.

If you are satisfied with the order, but feel that the order needs changes after a period of time, you can file an application called a Summons-in-Chambers to vary (that is, change) the court order concerning the children. You will have to state in your application why you are seeking a variation. The court will only allow a change to be made provided there is a material change in the circumstances or if the original order was made based on misrepresentation or mistake of fact. As to what would amount to misrepresentation or mistake of fact, you should seek legal advice.

[Big Sexy]

When I first separated from my spouse, we could not agree on the arrangements to be made for the children and obtained court orders on custody of and access to the children. I am now contemplating divorce. Will the custody and access orders made earlier still apply?

In your divorce petition, you will still have to include a prayer for custody and access. The court will not finalise a divorce order unless suitable arrangements have been made for the welfare of the children. If both parties are satisfied with the earlier order, they may ask the court to adopt similar custody and access orders in the ancillary matters hearing. Alternatively, either party can ask the court to reconsider the custody and access issue and persuade the court to make different orders.