Confession and failed marriage

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Originally Posted by shoei

Dear samsters,

Recently my wife found out about my affairs with my flings/friends. My marriage is failing and she does not trust me at all now. I am really foolish to committ adultery to put our marriage and family at risk.

I sincercely regretted doing all these. I am lost and dont know what to do. She told me she is staying in the marriage for our kid(very young).

I am planning to see a counsellor next week to seek help.I need help and advice. any brothers have experiences on this? what should i do?

remoseful

If you really regret what you did and do not want to loose you marraige and family, do this.
1) Apologise and show that you mean it
2) Talk less and action more to win back her trust

This is a long process but you must expect many sudden outbursts from her and also, always keep your head low, yes, degrading but you got no other choice cos you fucked up in the 1st place.
Be there but dun expect her to forgive you overnight.
She may walk ahead of you in public but tag along behind.
Be prepared to be treated VERY LOW for a while and sooner or later, your actions will win her forgiveness again!
A long, painful and degrading road but who said such repairs were ever easy!
Go for it bro, I support you!!!!

[hommedoux]

Originally Posted by DO_YOU_BJ

If you really regret what you did and do not want to loose you marraige and family, do this.
1) Apologise and show that you mean it
2) Talk less and action more to win back her trust

Agree.

The road to forgiveness will never be easy and it will be a very long process. Sincerity is the best medicine.

Good luck.

[newyorker88]

Originally Posted by shoei

I am trying to work things out with her but everytime we talk, she gets very defensive and keep saying the following:
1) I dont love u anymore
2) Stop asking me questions
3) I will not forgive u.
4) I am staying in the marriage for the children.
5) I am not going to work for our marriage/family.

.

Overall, it seems that she is still mad and sore at your mistakes. What is going thru now is communication problem, and she is the one who refuse to TALK things out properly. by saying the above. Let her know that if she refuse to talk out her inner feelings, and no communication between both of you is possible, the only way is the dreaded DIVORCE. If she stay on for the kids, she must be fair to the kids as well to stay "connected" to you. Let her understand this. Kids are very sensitive to parents emotions, if she is to stay by the kids for the sake of the kids, she must open herself up to you, as well... I know it is going to be hard for her to accept it and forgive you, but work and care for the kids like a good father, that will help too...


She sms her friends and family becos she need to talk out the feelings inside her too... I am sure she is trying to release her stress as well...by talking to others... Be it a male friend or female friend... You got to have some trust in her, since she decided to stay on for the sake of kids. If you confront her that she is going with another man, then it will be over. This is most difficult time for her as well... Do you know which female friend she is talking to? Or trusted male friends? Maybe telling them that you are sorry and wish to mend your ways to your wife is a start, provided that they are willing to put in a good word for you.

If you need more help... PM me..

[hugs]

actually i did got angry with my ex-husband once when he came back from batam with scratch mark on his back, he said he got too tired n asked the ah-ma from the hotel massage spa to the room but he felt asleep so didnt know what she did to him(ya right) so i went out n signed a $25k slimming sessions with beauty express but didnt go for any instead i ate alot n put on weight. my ex-husband didnt complain but instead he continue to make love with me n obey me during those love making n soon i started feeling i was too much n rewarded him with hotter sex. my ex-husband is the type who see man speak man language see ghost speak ghost language, even if he is in the wrong he can turn situation ard looks like a sad puppy. he can even make his competitor buys from him. so u see, all kinds of guys n girls in the world n not one method fitx all. i have seen guys with wife n mistressES n they live happily knowing of each others' existence while some cannot. whatever all of us posted here is for u to ponder over n decide what is best suited for urself. the choice is still urs to make. but depression is a killer so dont step into it. no matter what situation u r in, isnt the end of ur life yet.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Originally Posted by hugs

i have seen guys with wife n mistressES n they live happily knowing of each others' existence while some cannot.

Hehehe yes yes

[hugs]

and TS,

i am not teaching u to become a player but lets face it, in every situation, be it in work or relationship, the one who take charge, wins. so depression is not the only choice leh.

my ex-husband whenever he is in a cornered situation, he will bite the bullets or do whatever he needed to so that he can survive it. if he feels i suspect anything, he will spent time talking with me like hours n hours but then he smartly changed topic to talk about his work for hours n hours also till i was the one who got bored n dont want to talk liao. altho i wont want him back into my life now(i doubt if he is back i ever get get him out again cos he always can manage me somehow haiz..but i am the jealous type so no way he can have mistress altho i think he is capable of it) but i still sing praises of him becos he do show me that he can survive n live well even now man. i am the one suffering cos i was under the circumstances while he is street smart n know how to make best choices for himself. i can call him a bastard but still i wish i survived like he did, he no need to ask people what to do wan cos he like snake knows how to wiggle his way out wan. at work hor, everyone drives the boss if go malaysia, but the boss drives him if he is going along(see lah, n then he made me forget to ask what he did in the room really sleeping or not when they played strip poker with malaysian girls) and i hate my elder son cos he is 100% + 1 like my ex-husband. they born with the gift to control people.

ps: hi bro do-u-bj XD

[sammyboyfor]

How did all this lovey dovey stuff end up in a commercial sex forum dedicated to finding good whores to fuck????

[hugs]

fuK! i hate lovey dovey stuff i shall watch my posting from now on. btw why no one up me huh? only got kana zap cos of off topic post(jk)

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Originally Posted by sammyboyfor

How did all this lovey dovey stuff end up in a commercial sex forum dedicated to finding good whores to fuck????

Well, you did say this was Aunty Agony's section lolzzzzzz

[sammyboyfor]

Originally Posted by DO_YOU_BJ

Well, you did say this was Aunty Agony's section lolzzzzzz

Yeah but if you read the forum preamble, it's actually for loonies who can't distinguish between love and commercial sex and end up wanting to marry whores simply because they had a couple of good fucks which they paid for in cash.

It's ended up as a counseling centre for broken marriages.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Originally Posted by sammyboyfor

Yeah but if you read the forum preamble, it's actually for loonies who can't distinguish between love and commercial sex and end up wanting to marry whores simply because they had a couple of good fucks which they paid for in cash.

It's ended up as a counseling centre for broken marriages.

Hahaha ah well, the world is made up all kinds of loony tunes ya lol

[EcceHomo]

TS, your predicament, if true, isn't unique, so wise up and wake up!

Dude, you've got to be responsible and accountable for your actions. Everything has a cause and effect so you can run but can you hide from the consequences of your decisions forever?

But wallowing in self-pity isn't going to change things. In fact it's just a way of assuaging your guilt and shirking your responsibilities. Stop wasting your time hanging around here trawling for advice - go out, take a walk and calm yourself down. You've made some bad choices that let folks who are important to you down. That much is certain but what can you now do to make things better? Think seriously about what kind of concrete gestures you can do to make amends. Change. Truly and completely. And please also accept that despite your regret and best efforts, things might not turn out the way you want them to.

Ask yourself what is important to you. Your family? Or the casual passion and affection of an affair, or worse, the cheap company of whores? Don't kid yourself. And if your loved ones are those you prioritize and the answer is so obviously clear to you, don't look back and just move on. Forget this site, others like it and just keep on walking.

I don't think it's wise to prejudge your wife's intentions in going to her male friends nor have you provided other details so it's be a bit presumptuous to jump to any conclusion. Anyway, it's good to seek out relatives and friends whom the two of you are both acquainted with but just be wary of pulling in too many conflicting interests and agendas. I think going to an disinterested third party such as a qualified marriage counsellor is probably a better idea as they bring a more objective and genuinely professional touch to the role of the mediator. They also provide a more detached and less emotionally charged perspective which will be helpful in highlighting whatever options are left to you and your spouse. And do see a psychiatrist on your own if the stress gets to you. It'll definitely help.

Anyway it's your life and your choice at the end of the day. Just be accountable and fair to yourself and those that mean something to you. Nobody can help you do that but yourself.

[hugs]

Originally Posted by EcceHomo

TS, your predicament, if true, isn't unique, so wise up and wake up!

. Forget this site, others like it and just keep on walking.

.

exactly just like my first post in here, TS delete acct, get someone to clean up pc n then dont come back here anymore. cya

[Castrol]

Originally Posted by shoei

I sincercely regretted doing all these. I am lost and dont know what to do. She told me she is staying in the marriage for our kid(very young).

I am planning to see a counsellor next week to seek help.I need help and advice. any brothers have experiences on this? what should i do?

bro why spend money and time see counsellor?
just continue to po lo so her until she is happy lah.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Originally Posted by Castrol

bro why spend money and time see counsellor?
just continue to po lo so her until she is happy lah.

Nowadays, everything everybody also looking for a quick fix.
Many forgot, want to eat fruit, still must plant seed, nurture it till it becomes a tree then got fruits of labour.
Better still, wanna have baby, fuck already still must wait 10 months for baby to pop!