Affair with A Japanese Lady. What should I do?

[Penguin23]

Originally Posted by Nelsonlim

Thanks for your detailed sharing. I learnt quite a fair bit. Is it legal to hire PI to track this Japanese woman for my case? Or is PI only legal if used for marriage matters?

A PI (who is usually ex SPF) will not accept a job to track the Jap lady.

They ask some tough questions on the identity of the target and how she is related to you.

There are obviously underground ones who do this type of job, but I have no such contacts (anymore)

Cut it off, bro. Don't delay and stifle your curiosity on wanting to know how many cocks your ex FB is now servicing. Her life is her business.

[Theus]

Originally Posted by Nelsonlim

Wow thanks. Your input has given me the closure I need and put the matter to rest. Indeed thinking about the “what if” is definitely not worth the risk.

Good to hear that you have decided what to do.

One mistake you did make was having an emotional attachment to her and yet unable to compartmentalize.
But why are you so interested in knowing about divorce stuff now ?

[bowlofsoup]

if you want to have a fancy and adventurous life then go fo it..but if not i think avoiding is a better thing to do. going out on a date with her may expose you in public where you will bump into family and friends. If anyhow your wife suspect you having affair outside... you are gone. do not underestimate woman's instinct

[Nelsonlim]

Originally Posted by Penguin23

A PI (who is usually ex SPF) will not accept a job to track the Jap lady.

They ask some tough questions on the identity of the target and how she is related to you.

There are obviously underground ones who do this type of job, but I have no such contacts (anymore)

Cut it off, bro. Don't delay and stifle your curiosity on wanting to know how many cocks your ex FB is now servicing. Her life is her business.

Sigh, you are right. She can do whatever she wants for all I care. Will stop.

[Nelsonlim]

Originally Posted by bowlofsoup

if you want to have a fancy and adventurous life then go fo it..but if not i think avoiding is a better thing to do. going out on a date with her may expose you in public where you will bump into family and friends. If anyhow your wife suspect you having affair outside... you are gone. do not underestimate woman's instinct

We had bumped into friends on a few occasions. Afterwards we changed to only meeting in hotels or at her place. I understand the part on woman’s instinct. I thought I could lead a double life successfully but I realized that my affections towards my wife reduced during the affair.

[Nelsonlim]

Originally Posted by Theus

Good to hear that you have decided what to do.

One mistake you did make was having an emotional attachment to her and yet unable to compartmentalize.
But why are you so interested in knowing about divorce stuff now ?

Just curious about the part where the man gets full care and control because in SG it is normally by default to the woman or shared care and control.

[Nelsonlim]

I still wonder, was she correct to say that she and I are the same. She can meet new people without my knowledge, just like she doesn’t know what I do with my wife. I feel there is a difference.

[thor1981]

Originally Posted by Penguin23

A PI (who is usually ex SPF) will not accept a job to track the Jap lady.

They ask some tough questions on the identity of the target and how she is related to you.

There are obviously underground ones who do this type of job, but I have no such contacts (anymore)

Cut it off, bro. Don't delay and stifle your curiosity on wanting to know how many cocks your ex FB is now servicing. Her life is her business.

Well said bro.

Bro TS, just end it now. I tried to play the game of finding out how many dicks my ex was servicing, and it hurts to know how many. Better is take a positive to enjoy your family life while you still can.

[Anderson]

Originally Posted by Nelsonlim

I still wonder, was she correct to say that she and I are the same. She can meet new people without my knowledge, just like she doesn’t know what I do with my wife. I feel there is a difference.

Don't hang onto it. I sometimes wonder how mine is now, who she is with now.
And it occurs to me, it would be much better for me to look at myself and see I can make things better for myself.
The sleepless nights wondering and worries have passed for me and I am so so relieved I am pass it now.

[Nelsonlim]

Good to hear that you are over it. What if, one day, she texts you all of a sudden, asking how are you, what would you do? Have you thought that you two could have just remained as acquaintances? I’m wondering what I will do if she texts me again. Perhaps I should just strictly remain as nothing more than friends.

Originally Posted by Anderson

Don't hang onto it. I sometimes wonder how mine is now, who she is with now.
And it occurs to me, it would be much better for me to look at myself and see I can make things better for myself.
The sleepless nights wondering and worries have passed for me and I am so so relieved I am pass it now.

[Anderson]

Originally Posted by Nelsonlim

What if, one day, she texts you all of a sudden, asking how are you, what would you do?

You mean if she asks to return as it was ? My answer will be no.
The drama is just too consuming, even ruining the mood for sex.
Even during sex will start to wonder, what and when the next drama is going to be. However good the sex, the drama, and the subsequent weariness takes it all away.

Do not want to be acquaintance either, too unpredictable.
Dont want to have sleepless nights again wondering wtf is going to happen next.

[Zax51]

Move on, don't turn back already.

[similang]

mental is one thing that drives a person crazy.

[RipCord]

Whenever after drama or arguments, when frustration is high, will hate fuck.
The pounding is something my one never expected or forgot.
Hate fuck can be awesome sometimes.

[leakypipes]

Originally Posted by Anderson

You mean if she asks to return as it was ? My answer will be no.
The drama is just too consuming, even ruining the mood for sex.
Even during sex will start to wonder, what and when the next drama is going to be. However good the sex, the drama, and the subsequent weariness takes it all away.

Do not want to be acquaintance either, too unpredictable.
Dont want to have sleepless nights again wondering wtf is going to happen next.

Exactly bro. No sex is worth the drama.