My Story.... And I hope bros will not make the same mistake as me.....

[tuffcookie]

Hi TS. You sound like a nice chap and I just can't help but post here. Please do not ruin your life by trying to play God and help her. If a woman behaves like this prior to marriage, chances are they will get worse after obtaining the ring. By then, walking away is no longer just a simple turn of your back. I know how difficult it is to get out now but it will be a million times more after you marry her. Please be brave and move on.

[queeniegal]

Haiyo! Is your family really that terrible?

I know someone.. He always tell me his family terrible but i always ask him forgive the past. Till lately something happen to him cause by this family. Now bring him tons of shit. I swear he was having the worst family I ever saw. I never say bad things abt his terrible family till that things happen.

Hmmmm maybe something happen?

But oh well some people have double sided life and face before and after are totally different.
But by right if she go thru shit she should be very mature. But she sound not at all.

In the past maybe she is.

There a saying the tougher road you been thru the more mature you be cause you are being force to be mature.

Is good that you want to help her out of her dark, but does she knows? Would she appreciate and treasure you more?

Have heart to heart talk ba communication very important.

[pitabooom]

Originally Posted by tuffcookie

Hi TS. You sound like a nice chap and I just can't help but post here. Please do not ruin your life by trying to play God and help her. If a woman behaves like this prior to marriage, chances are they will get worse after obtaining the ring. By then, walking away is no longer just a simple turn of your back. I know how difficult it is to get out now but it will be a million times more after you marry her. Please be brave and move on.

Thanks my friend.

I will see how things work out today. Unfortunately, I got a nasty feeling things are not going to go so well with her confrontational attitude.

The most unfortunate thing however, is her inability to see who are her elders and who are not. Who are merely her 'bros' (who will reassign priority to their own families) and who are the ones that really care about her.

Treating someone who is 11 years or 7 years your senior as an equal and treating someone who is 6 months older than you as your senior is kinda like a teenager's warped logic. I have no frickin' idea where she picked up and reinforced such weird logic.

[queeniegal]

Haha give u candies to lure u... Haha hammering you just showing you her really personality.

I know girls who are very sweet in the start and guy trap into it and decided to get married and all change.

But everything was too late anw...

Have good thought and good talk!

[pitabooom]

Originally Posted by queeniegal

Haha give u candies to lure u... Haha hammering you just showing you her really personality.

I know girls who are very sweet in the start and guy trap into it and decided to get married and all change.

But everything was too late anw...

Have good thought and good talk!

The show's not over until the fat lady sings.

I really don't want to be a jerk. But if we cannot reconcile our differences and come to a middle ground, I'd rather NOT SIGN on the paper at all.

I really do want to talk and see if there's any possibility for negotiation instead of taking out the most important people in my life on our big day (yes, she has got important people in her life as well, but does it mean I have to start culling my folks just to appease and accommodate her? There HAS got to be a limit right?). But if we can't resolve simple differences now, how can we surmount bigger mountains in the future?!

[muscleboi]

Originally Posted by pitabooom

The show's not over until the fat lady sings.

I really don't want to be a jerk. But if we cannot reconcile our differences and come to a middle ground, I'd rather NOT SIGN on the paper at all.

I really do want to talk and see if there's any possibility for negotiation instead of taking out the most important people in my life on our big day (yes, she has got important people in her life as well, but does it mean I have to start culling my folks just to appease and accommodate her? There HAS got to be a limit right?). But if we can't resolve simple differences now, how can we surmount bigger mountains in the future?!

bro, even if she does change now to resolve those "simple" differences with you, it is short term. how can people change so fast and remain changed for life? possible but very very rare, almost to the state of impossible. thats why there's a saying called a leopard can never change its spots.

please do remember that after you signed above the dotted line on the marriage contract, your life will be irrevocably changed forever. there's no return from then on. if she really turns worse after marriage, firstly you can't divorce in your first 3 years of marriage and secondly, even if you divorce, bro you got to give her maintenance for the rest of her life till she marries another man. and if you have children, the situation will just be worse than being just married.

above is my 2 cents.

[Lucifersangel]

Haiyo. TS is really a good person.. I used to play around too and now change. Even I don't dare to tell my bf my past sia! U are really honest and brave. Must really love her.

Picking is in a woman's blood la. As a woman I pick on my bf too.. But even I know picking should never move on to family member! That's just bitchy la.

[lebronjames6]

bro. honesty never sells in a relationship one.

[pitabooom]

Unfortunate. But things had been said. I had my guilty past. I decided to face up to it, which is why I made the decision to come to terms to it by telling the one woman that I decided to spend my life with.

Do I love her? Yes for sure.
But does she love me? I'm not too sure. She seems kinda dysfunctional when it comes to expressing her feelings. If I did not major in Psychology but Engineering, I would had disappeared from her life long ago (no offence to Engineering bros! But I'm currently an Engineer too. I majored in Psychology for fun though).

There are some times where I feel like just cutting it loose. Back to the old days of fun. I'm a human being too with emotions and feelings.

Perhaps death will set me free? Maybe so. But I do not wish for the day where she will only open her eyes to truly see things (and not practice selective listening and seeing) when I'm lying in hospital.

[KonKam]

It isn't the end of the world.
You can STOP this.

Your marriage will bound to be disaster.
It will definitely affect your health...etc

Take a breather, why not postpone the marriage
or importantly...take time off to really think about it.

[eronia]

TS, it gives me a little more hope to see guys like you around. i always thought men will never understand this thing called love because it seems like no matter how well they treat you, their ultimate goal is to get into the girl's pants. Congratz on proving me wrong.

[tipspecialist]

Originally Posted by tuffcookie

Hi TS. You sound like a nice chap and I just can't help but post here. Please do not ruin your life by trying to play God and help her. If a woman behaves like this prior to marriage, chances are they will get worse after obtaining the ring. By then, walking away is no longer just a simple turn of your back. I know how difficult it is to get out now but it will be a million times more after you marry her. Please be brave and move on.

chop chop
double chop
more reliable than insurance.

sure lose lose situation worst than gambling la bro.

this one is like playing bacarrat your cards all 10,j,q,k,A the other player all 2 to 9 sure lose one

[pitabooom]

Thanks guys.

Almost did the unthinkable earlier this evening. I was at L42 (you all know what that means) earlier running some errands in vicinity of the 'famous district' when I thought about everything. Our small arguments over the past couple of months. Things like preparation, dowry and all the stress in my work, I'd almost just lost it all and almost lost my mind there and then.

And me and my gf did not have sex for almost 4 weeks. Considering the fact that both of our sex drives are pretty high, I guess this can be irrefutable proof that I am willing to break away from the old past.

Don't really want to head back to that old erroneous ways again.

[Happy555]

U havnt marry n already so much issues, can u imagine what it would be like after? I used to have an ex that went to the extent of checking my rubbish bins n although I love her very much, I knew this girl is definite trouble. Thank god I could walk away abeit painfully from that n it open the doors to get a better girl n I never look back since.

TS, u wont know whats ahead of u n sometimes, if its not meant to be, dun force it. How u know u wun find a better girl? U need to balance off being practical as well. You have tried ur best but still so much issues with current girl. Its quite clear to me what u should do. But I wish u the very best n pray for wisdom when u make ur choices,

[neyney]

I don't quite understand how you are loving her?

You have pointed her bad points so far in the whole thread, and you couldn't name her good points in this thread. If there is no good points about her, and you THINK you love her, I think you are trying to play GOD trying to salvage and change her (GOD is when you change, but DOG is when you fail which I think 99% likelihood)

If this is the case, I think you should stop all these BS, and even forget about the marriage prep course. If you can't talk sense to her now and you expect 3rd parties to talk to her and drill sense to her, I can see you are heading for real SHIT. Imagine, in near future, both of you quarrel, and you can't appease her, are you going to get the 3rd parties to come and help? And how many times do you think you need the 3rd parties?

My advice is to CUT LOSS now ( both time and money). Bang table and tell her straight in the face, you are OUT. Then move on.

I am not going to pray for you should you stay with this gf, cause 自做孽，不可活。
I will pray for you to have a better gf, you cut loss NOW and move on.