What is it like after getting married for over 5 years? How to maintain the marriage?

[vesfreq]

Originally Posted by tittyhawk

Its nice to see so many bros' comments to the subject matter. Some of them really hits the heart, and some enlightening.

In any case, most of you would agree that the union of two different people to spend the rest of their lives, is not an easy job but it is blessed to be.

So, cherised our loved ones/partners in life.

I've got the message across.

And, finding the right match is not easy job too.

I envy my friends' parents who can stick together through thick and thin. Reminds me that I have to be responsible once I settle down, though I know I can't at this time.

[giggz83]

well bro, being together happily ever after .. i remember my mom told me that she was on the verge on divorcing my dad several years back.

but it was bcos of me and my brothers .. that time we were young. that she decided not to.

and now .. she is a grandma .. and im a uncle liao!! hhaha..

having kids helps. but .. it is really hardwork from both sides that maintains a marriage or relationship.

[covenn]

bro TTH, she's ur wife, not gf. so the r/s escalates into kinship. probably in a way juz like kinship btw u n ur parents/siblings. i dun think u get excited at the prospect of meetin ur parents for dinner rite. ther's nothing wrong wif ur marriage i think. treasure n cherish the feelin of kinship wif ur wife.

From my experience, I can vouch that marriage is not a smooth ride. I know, I failed the first time out. One lesson I can take from my failed marriage (lasted 3 years) is that both have to be on the same "wavelength" sexually. No matter how much you love her or she loves you, if you are different in terms of sexual preferences, you can expect everything to break down - SEX matters and keeps the marriage alive. In my case - I am sexually liberal (like to experiment), while she was prudish (dun even like to be licked!) so having sex became a bloody chore to me after a while. So I guess sexual compatibility is paramount in my view.
My present love is different and we are both finding more and more ways to spice things up. Looks like this new relationship will last - HOPEFULLY!
The only thing is married life after having kids - it may be difficult to adjust - so we need some bro's with a happy marriage and have kids to give valuable advice!

[cmelater]

Originally Posted by giggz83

well bro, being together happily ever after .. i remember my mom told me that she was on the verge on divorcing my dad several years back.

but it was bcos of me and my brothers .. that time we were young. that she decided not to.

and now .. she is a grandma .. and im a uncle liao!! hhaha..

having kids helps. but .. it is really hardwork from both sides that maintains a marriage or relationship.

Nearly ten years have past. Didn't expect to see this thread still stuck in the forum in the middle of time.

Kids do help. Hardwork is inevitable. Being single was still so good.

With marriage, comes so many duties and obligations... all of which are assumed and never explicit.

[heartkorr]

Becomes quite mundane... it becomes like a process, everyday going through the same process...sex with the same person over so many years becomes a bit mundane also...... but hey. still a good mother to my kids and wife, supporting me and doing her part for the family

[cmelater]

Sigh.... marriage is tough. What to do. If she care for the house and that there are kids, really must resign to life liao.

[Sword_74]

Need to accept that after married and have kids
i) wife is the queen,
ii) kids are the princes and princesses
iii)Sex is a bonus

Too much or too little lying kills marriage.

[freezetheDB]

When you have kids you become willing slaves to the kids. Good or bad is up to individual's view and goals in his life.

[4getful]

In olden times, marriage is good. But in this moderm times, marriage is never a wise choice. If a marriage can amicably dissolve, its a bonus. But when dissolving a marriage ended up in violent or even fatal (it is not hard to flip through the past record of all the fatal incident), its a tragedy. Men also went to jail after divorcing the wife. Last time, the women you married are pure and you are her only men. But nowadays a man married a woman can have already enjoying by various men. Hence you can see cheating n adultery are very common nowadays. So many marriage may not survive the 5 yrs, it can be a bonus if couple r still tgt after 5 yrs.

[Metzloff]

Married > 20 years already with kids and the whole deal. There are still some days I ask myself " WTF ?! Why am I putting up with all this CRAP from the wife and kids ?"

Only get married if you want kids. Otherwise, fuggedaboutit/