girlfriend/wife who doesn't like sex at all

[raiders]

Originally Posted by My-Melody

I'm in the same situation as u do. Just that it's my bf who doesn't really get intimate with me. I tried talking to him about it and even suggested breaking up but things go back to the same situation after a while. I'm getting used to it though. Maybe u can try talking to her abt it first. Good luck to u!

I am actually very surprised that many people here has partners who do not like physical intimation at all. Below are the 4 main reasons which I have analyzed.

1. Past trauma - Which includes of getting molested/raped when they were growing up.

2. Stress from work - This includes meeting deadlines, keeping your job alive, office politics. When you know you might be losing your job if you don't meet the target, I don't think you will have any more mood to make out. It ever happened to me.

3. Getting feed outside - Prostitutes/Gigolos, affairs, fuck buddies. Like one brother ever mentioned in this thread, when you are so well fed outside, you won't need the cow at home.

4. Personal hygiene - Honestly, if my partner has breathe that smells like the toilet bowl, private parts that smells like rotten fish, I will never think of going near him/her.

There are many people who will complain and complain about their partners not servicing them but the arrow has never been directed at themselves. Have you ever made the effort to shower nicely, brush and rinse your mouth, light perfume, correct room temperature, right clothing. All these things made a big difference to getting your partner aroused. You really do not need a 15cm cock. You really do not need to brag that you can make the girl orgasm twice/thrice or that your cock can spin like a torpedo. The right environment, setting, and proper foreplay will have your partner come back for more. Cheers

[Acehigh]

dude drop her like a hot potato... and as fast as you can as well. 9 years is nothing compared to an eternity of suffering this kind of torture. And for god's sake try to be a man!

[cuteby]

some woman like to use sex as weapon to control man and latter they lost interest in sex lao. for wife than dont want his man to touch her better go far far away from her and save your own life yourself

[neuman]

Originally Posted by zoop

told her so many times guys need sex. then she will say i am using her as a sexual output. every time i try to initiate sex, she will turn me down. if i continue trying, she will say i do not respect her, either that she will cry and be upset. i even have phobia of having sex with her now till the extend when i got lucky, i couldn't maintain erection. it doesn't help that she is only lying there doing nothing. only can be filled with envy when i look at online amature videos. its like a fantasy which i could only dream of. throughout our 9 years r/s, never once she asked for sex or tease me.

i tried talking with her, but she say she don't feel the need, only once in a while she will feel horny. i guess that is when i got lucky? it be a wonder if i can have sex more than 5 times this year.

i love my gf a lot. but no sex is bad enough, no petting at all is unbelievable. i realized i am looking more often at other girls who dressed sexily too. how long more can i last?

Sex is the most important thing in relationship, thats as far as I am concern,
I love sex. You know now her attitude towards sex, if you marry her there
will be lots of frustration and unhappiness on both side. You want she don't
want, fedup, cannot sleep, etc. I have friends who marry into such, ending
with divorce or going to HCs to satify his needs.

I was very lucky, when we were dating, we have very nice experience, in the
car, in hotels, going on trips, etc.

After marriage it get even better, making love while watching pron movies will
really makes your girl horny and extremly sensitive and very very wet, and this could go on for more than an hour. Experiencing new things and always both of us will prolong ejectuation. Now after many years of marriage we till do it, but not as often.

MusT saY that I have a fulfilling sex life.

One advise, if are a horny guy, always thinking about sex, which if normal
to most guys, make sure that you marry one that will give you your needs.

So think about it, don't junp in, loving you girl is one thing.

[waxyday]

i myself also in a rather similar situation. if not worse.

it started good quite some time ago. when we were in a cinema i started to touch her boobs and finger her. the first few times, she still put my hands into her skirt or blouse. she quite enjoyed it and cummed when fingered. after a couple of times, she tells me to stop doing that because morally not right cause no married and she is not ready for it. so we also stop there, never continue. at most petting her and she dont give back. So comes the question, why did she invite me and why even put my hand there? felt very angry and asked her and she gives all kinds of reasons but we also make up for what we quarrel.

like Ts, she also don't give me french kiss. she gives me reasons that she does not like saliva and she is not good with her tongue.

now she is telling me that she feel that kissing and hugging is not good too and she don't like kissing because involves saliva. i dun even know whether i am worse than ts or not.

however, she still loves me alot but also said the same thing, 'should go look for other girls'.

reading all the bros advice here, it may be wise to leave her now but got one thing to ask: i said sex is men's instinct and we need it, she should be understanding. but she said she don't like all these, if i love her, i should be understanding too. i am stumped by this question, any bros can help?

_______________

just to add on that i am not exactly bad looking and have many girls around. my previous gf enjoys giving me bj and we had lots of fun. just have this problem for this relationship

[lightning]

Basically some of the gals are traditionally trained and would not want to be taken advantage of before marriage. At least she sounds better than Zoop's gf as his gf is phobia of sex. ur gf coud be trained but looks like u sex life with her looks gloomy, if no improvement seen...If ever encounter this type both me and brother will faint...

[orneryjoe]

The sex instinct applies not only to men, but to women as well. That is nature. What may lead to the repression of such instinct is probably culture or the environment. This is related to how one is brought up -- including the influence of parents, teachers, friends, tradition and religion.

Thinking that sex is somehow "dirty" is an attitude that is encouraged in certain religions such as Christianity or Islam.

The way to be free of such unhealthy attitude towards sex must also be cultural -- it is mostly re-orientation through education. Tell your gf that sex is something good and pleasurable. If she does not believe you, look for books or websites that discusses this subject. They should not be difficult to find.

There is something in psychology known as the Madonna-Whore complex. These are actually the two extremes of sexual behaviour that some women are sometimes in a dilemma about. At times, women want to be treated as the virgin Mary (Madonna) -- holy and untouchable; at other times, they wish they could give themselves up to behave like whores. The challenge is to educate your gf that she should be a Madonna to everyone else but behave like a whore where you are concerned.

With some women, the cultural damage is so bad that their bad attitude cannot be changed. For most, much can be done through patience, understanding and persistence.

[Frankiestine]

Originally Posted by orneryjoe

At times, women want to be treated as the virgin Mary (Madonna) -- holy and untouchable; at other times, they wish they could give themselves up to behave like whores..

I think not only women but human in general, basically they hide behind the facade of a religion to suppress their dark and hideous desire..."NO DESIRE NO SIN".... but unfortunately we know as humans we can't control our desire for sin of the flesh...that is why we read of priest and monks being involved in human desires....for these people their agony and suffering is greater then ours cos at the same time while they have to pretend to be above the rest in humanly needs, they have to try to hide their dark side...

[orneryjoe]

Using such terms as "sins of the flesh" already implies you think sex is sinful. It is not. It is a natural drive hardwired into our genes. We need to be constantly alert about how many factors, including language, sometimes make us think negatively about sex.

Hurting others and treating them without consideration -- that is immoral. Fulfilling your sexual wants and needs in a legitimate way -- without forcing anyone to do what they do not want to do -- that is behaving in a normal, healthy fashion.

A couple enjoying lovemaking with one another -- that is as things should be. That is the Tao of Sex, the Tao of Life, the Tao of Goodness.

[superman67]

Originally Posted by raiders

I am actually very surprised that many people here has partners who do not like physical intimation at all. Below are the 4 main reasons which I have analyze..

Tks alot for all the gd tips..apprez..

[Frankiestine]

Originally Posted by orneryjoe

Using such terms as "sins of the flesh" already implies you think sex is sinful.

Far from it, what I am referring to is in the context of those in the order...as for me...sin or not what the heck...you only live once...get what I mean..

[lightning]

Originally Posted by zoop

anyone with girlfriend or wife who refuse or dislike sex? been with my gf for 9 years, throughout the relationship we seldom have sex becos she will always have 101 reasons not to. no sex, no petting. as if like friends except we hug and kiss (no french kiss, she say she don't like saliva)

sex will come as a bonus, use 1 hand fingers can calculate the time we had in a year. tried talking to her, but every time she will ask me go find another woman, don't be with her.

its frustrating getting rejected all the time, and she doesn't feel the need for intimacy. no sex nvm, petting also not allowed. now only way is to trust my good old hand. but i don't think i can take it much longer.

any advise?


serious reply only please.

Hi Zoop,

Any good news with ur gf

[big wood]

Originally Posted by zoop

anyone with girlfriend or wife who refuse or dislike sex? been with my gf for 9 years, throughout the relationship we seldom have sex becos she will always have 101 reasons not to. no sex, no petting. as if like friends except we hug and kiss (no french kiss, she say she don't like saliva)

sex will come as a bonus, use 1 hand fingers can calculate the time we had in a year. tried talking to her, but every time she will ask me go find another woman, don't be with her.

its frustrating getting rejected all the time, and she doesn't feel the need for intimacy. no sex nvm, petting also not allowed. now only way is to trust my good old hand. but i don't think i can take it much longer.

any advise?

serious reply only please.

bro i really salute u for 9 years u can take this kind of shit i think if is me 9 month i will ask her to go just my own opion no offence

[BiRd13]

Originally Posted by big wood

bro i really salute u for 9 years u can take this kind of shit i think if is me 9 month i will ask her to go just my own opion no offence

Bro... TS mentioned 9yrs never had sex with his gf... Doesn't mean during this 9yrs he never release outside... =D If he really nvr release outside... Then perhaps I will understand why his gf don't want to have sex with him...

[howck001]

Bro zoop, seriously I have 101 reason yo have sex .. Well I can convents her accordingly ... You need some training ..! Huh ??

Originally Posted by zoop

anyone with girlfriend or wife who refuse or dislike sex? been with my gf for 9 years, throughout the relationship we seldom have sex becos she will always have 101 reasons not to. no sex, no petting. as if like friends except we hug and kiss (no french kiss, she say she don't like saliva)

sex will come as a bonus, use 1 hand fingers can calculate the time we had in a year. tried talking to her, but every time she will ask me go find another woman, don't be with her.

its frustrating getting rejected all the time, and she doesn't feel the need for intimacy. no sex nvm, petting also not allowed. now only way is to trust my good old hand. but i don't think i can take it much longer.

any advise?

serious reply only please.