Happily Married with an ex WL(VN)

[casannova03]

Originally Posted by jackbl

I didnt pull her over. I go over to where she stands and signal ALL to look at me... After that i go back to tell them this gal is KT's BX

hahahaha!! i can vouch for that!!!

[casannova03]

Actually i have so many things i want to share but dunno why somehow always have bits and pieces of info...so i've decided to try to stick to a topical style of posting so that i can keep my focus..if sometimes you all find me repeating things, bear with it ok...


Continued...

The Challenges - Part 1

I think that this is the part where most bros find hard to overcome and sometimes i felt like giving up too...what kept me and my wife together for the past 5 years? I think its the love we share.

Initial Challenge
When you are with a vn gal and she is still working, your state of mind starts to change. Suddenly, from a neutral point of stand, you will want more. You want to possess her. This is one of the potential pitfalls because your mind starts to wonder thinking about what she will do with others behind your back. However, you dun have the means(financially 99% of the time) to bail her out of the situation so you just have to grit your teeth and carry on.

My Stand: when you know her, you already know what she is doing dun you? So why be affected by what she does now? Its not fair to her. Her objective here is definitely not to find a husband or a boyfriend. The problems that comes with having a boyfriend will affect her work. So if somewhere along her work you found her and she found you, all she asks for is your understanding that she does this job for a reason. So dun try and impose restrictions on her as if you really own her. At the end of the day you've gotta ask yourself...who are you to her? Therefore stop all the wild imaginations and put your trust in her if you love her...what do you stand to lose? nothing! Think of it this way...she stand to lose you if that very trust is broken.

Trust

This like some senior bros in here have said, is to be earned. For me, i think it works both ways. Dun have the mentality that she must do all the work to earn your trust. It smacks of the behaviours of male chavaunists. You have to remember that you did patronise pubs or ktvs giving tips in exchange for the gal's time with you. So consider the promises that comes out from your mouth...how does it sound to her? Well, bullshit!! or as they say 'sao nhieu nhieu!'

Its natural. Its just that our perspective is different from their perspective. You have to talk! Understand each others needs and expectations. Know where she is coming from and make sure she knows your expectations. Once that is done and set, you jolly well stick to your words. It may be that she dun want you to go hug other gals or anything once you've promise, make sure you stick to it..the vn scene is a small place...your dirty deeds will be exposed.

My stand:

For me, one of the very first thing that i told my wife(gf at that time) was, I was fucking broke living on NSF payout. i told her that i really like her a lot but if she expects me to provide for her, then i'm sorry i cannot. I told her i dun like to talk about money because i hate it!!(at that time) It was almost always the cause of many problems in the world and in my family then. But that is not to say i will not provide for her once i have the means and ability. But my point was if ours was going to be a relationship built upon $$, then let's not waste time.

She took it positively and told me : I know that you dun have much money but you must know my aim is to build a house for my parents and to give them a better life back home. You dun have to give me money because i can work and earn it myself. The money is good and fast and i am sure you will not be able to make such money if i stop work. (well, sad but true) Can you wait for me? I will work and save money till all is settled. But you really dun mind?

I told her that if i had objections to her work, i would not even be sitting down beside her to talk. I asked her how much more does she have to save up and we had a frank discussion on the amount need and the expected time frame needed. We came to an estimated timeframe and we told ourself that we will work towards the target. Well, as mentioned earlier, i was jobless at that time. So after that frank talk that we had, i had to do something. I dun think its fair that she works and pays for the rental and the expenses and i'm living off her. That sucks! So i took up teaching tuition after my studies. this is to make sure that i too, contribute to our collective agreement and aim.

That said, we also discussed about our expectations of each other.some of the topics i told her were:

1.) My expectation of her at work

I will not interfere in her work so long as she dun go upstairs and there is to be no exchange of phone numbers with customers.

2.)Finance

because we were living together, we have to keep our finances in check. This has to be done by someone. We agreed that i will keep track of income while she tracks expenses cos gals are better at remembering. (actually, controlling income means that i can check her earnings every night...if there were a sudden increase in income , well. you know where that comes from) This way, we are sure of the inflow and outflow of income.

3.)Handling customer calls

well, before i knew her , she had already given her number to many customers before her so its a problem. I asked her how will she handle it? And she said, believe me i know what to do. what she did was: she told customers that she was here to work and not to play so if they want to meet her, come to her workplace and find her. how i know? cos remember, i was staying with her so calls were often taken when i am present.

....to be continued

[ekemono]

bro casanova,

I realised you hope to instil value into your story but you focused too much explaining on mindsets and belief, making it like a classroom lesson. The story is about you meeting her, so recommend you speak more of the events, where events naturally brings readers to understand what is happening. You can back up with explanation at critical point in a stretch of events to bring us up to speed; to sync with you, But if you do not include enough events, we won't know where to sync with you.

E.g: Think of it as a movie, if half the time the producer had to step in frequently to explain the actor's every action, you will also loose focus to keep up with the movie story. let the film run uninterupted, then step in to summarise it after a reasonable proportion. (dun know if it makes sense to you)

Forgive my frankness. I look forward to read and share your joy with you.
cheers

[yjmteen]

married my ex-client, n he is not exactly my life saviour as wat i hope. not all redlight workline girl is bad but once u found them, never betray and let them down. they r really looking for true love jst like ur.

[casannova03]

Originally Posted by ekemono

bro casanova,

Forgive my frankness. I look forward to read and share your joy with you.
cheers

Thanks bro! I welcome any suggestion from all interested parties.

I was actually delibrating between using the topical format and my previous format .....for the latter,its quite time consuming to relate the story and then stop and give my point of view....haha

thats why i adopted the topical format but after reading your comments an taking a look at my latest post, i do realise that its a bit no head no tail and its just about my thought....

So bros and now got sis.....should i stick to my old style of stories with lessons or do you people prefer the topical style which is used in my latest post???

do let me know ok!

[casannova03]

Originally Posted by yjmteen

married my ex-client, n he is not exactly my life saviour as wat i hope. not all redlight workline girl is bad but once u found them, never betray and let them down. they r really looking for true love jst like ur.

Thanks sis for sharing your female point of view. Really appreciate!!

I think you help to reinforce that 'working ladies' are only human beings with basic human needs such as love. Its just that they have chosen a different path way....

And i certainly concur with you that once you have found one, treat them well..and you will get the rewards in the relationship.

[ekemono]

Originally Posted by yjmteen

married my ex-client, n he is not exactly my life saviour as wat i hope. not all redlight workline girl is bad but once u found them, never betray and let them down. they r really looking for true love jst like ur.

You shouldn't have let your hubby know your nick and password

http://sbf.today/2579615-post269.html

http://sbf.today/2582838-post270.html

naughty boy...

[ekemono]

Originally Posted by casannova03

Thanks bro! I welcome any suggestion from all interested parties.

bro, my apology for being so critical. It is your story and should be your call.

I am sorry.

[Darkstorm]

Originally Posted by ekemono

bro casanova,

I realised you hope to instil value into your story but you focused too much explaining on mindsets and belief, making it like a classroom lesson. The story is about you meeting her, so recommend you speak more of the events, where events naturally brings readers to understand what is happening. You can back up with explanation at critical point in a stretch of events to bring us up to speed; to sync with you, But if you do not include enough events, we won't know where to sync with you.

E.g: Think of it as a movie, if half the time the producer had to step in frequently to explain the actor's every action, you will also loose focus to keep up with the movie story. let the film run uninterupted, then step in to summarise it after a reasonable proportion. (dun know if it makes sense to you)

Forgive my frankness. I look forward to read and share your joy with you.
cheers

No offence Ekemono. If I may offer my viewpoint: I think it is a good idea for Casanova to continue to do what he is doing, which is explaining on mindsets and belief. It is beneficial to readers.

[ekemono]

Originally Posted by Darkstorm

No offence Ekemono. If I may offer my viewpoint: I think it is a good idea for Casanova to continue to do what he is doing, which is explaining on mindsets and belief. It is beneficial to readers.

ya, that is why i posted later to apologize.
my bad..

[Darkstorm]

Originally Posted by ekemono

ya, that is why i posted later to apologize.
my bad..

No worries

[colins]

Originally Posted by ekemono

ya, that is why i posted later to apologize.
my bad..

dun worry bro eke, but I also think bro casannova should continue this way. A story has its value as a story, but bro cas is illustrating the experience he gained, very realistically written. It is also very to the point of being
"happily married to ex WL", this shows the path he took. In my opinion, this has more value.

[longwinter]

l have been following TS stories from page 1, and is really good Interesting!

but TS, if possible, u may want to share share the tricks and sleeves they are up to during ur stay with them? that will be an eye opener.

[Darkstorm]

Originally Posted by longwinter

l have been following TS stories from page 1, and is really good Interesting!

but TS, if possible, u may want to share share the tricks and sleeves they are up to during ur stay with them? that will be an eye opener.

I suggest that Casanova leave these for another thread as the main purpose here is for him to share his successful relationship and love story with his wife.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Originally Posted by longwinter

l have been following TS stories from page 1, and is really good Interesting!

but TS, if possible, u may want to share share the tricks and sleeves they are up to during ur stay with them? that will be an eye opener.

Trade secret leh.....how to share hehehehe
Tio bo bro Cas hehehehe