Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[dyelook]

laughter bumps...

[cupid xpress]

Originally Posted by Johnwalker

Just for laugh

Thats a good one.... 😂

[Hurricane88]

Jokes for Tuesday...

[SuperbMaster]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Did not notice the mouse too

[Hurricane88]

For all the English pundits:

Dad: Why did the Grammar teacher slap you yesterday ??
Son: Just wanted to clear my doubt... asked her a valid question...for which she had no answer... so she took out her frustration by being furious violently.
Dad : what was the question ???
Son: I asked her why bra is singular when it covers two things & panties plural when it covers only one?

[bigbirdbird]

There was a boy playing in the farm field when his mom called him in for breakfast. On his way in he kicked a cow, pig, and a chicken.

So when he gets to the table he sees a dry bowl of cereal. "What's the deal?" he asks. His mom says, "You kicked the cow so no milk for you, you kicked the pig so no bacon for you, and you kicked the chicken so no eggs for you."

Just then his father walks into the kitchen and on the way to the table, kicked the cat out of the way. The boy says, "Do you want me to tell him or should you?"

[bigbirdbird]

[nubberaid]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

For all the English pundits:

Dad: Why did the Grammar teacher slap you yesterday ??
Son: Just wanted to clear my doubt... asked her a valid question...for which she had no answer... so she took out her frustration by being furious violently.
Dad : what was the question ???
Son: I asked her why bra is singular when it covers two things & panties plural when it covers only one?

Difficult question to answer

[Hurricane88]

*Women are so difficult .*
*Always changing their mind...*
*At 18, they want handsome men.*
*At 25, they want matured men.*
*At 30, they want successful men.*
*At 40, they want established men.*
*At 50 ,they want faithful men.* *At 60, they want helpful men.*

*Men are very simple.. Never change their taste...on any changing condition.*
*At 18, they like pretty young girls.*
*At 25, they like pretty young girls.*
*At 30, they like pretty young girls.*
*At 40, they like pretty young girls.*
*At 50, they still like pretty young girls* *At 60, stll they like pretty young girls.*
😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
*Dedicated to all devoted n focused Men..*

[Hurricane88]

Intelligent Husband
.
Wife was busy in packing her clothes.
.
Husband - Where are you going ?
.
Wife - I'm moving to my mother.
.
Husband also starts packing his clothes.
.
Wife - Now where are you going ?
.
Husband - I'm also moving to my mother.
.
Wife - And what about the kids ?
.
Husband - Well I guess ... If you are moving to your mother and I'm moving to my mother ... They should move to their mother.
.
Clothes unpacked.😉😄😄😄


Short Facts......

☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀☀

Wife : "why are u home so early?"

Hubby : "My boss said go to hell!"
😆😋

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Doctor : How is ur headache ?
Patient : she's out of town.
😄

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No Man Can Ever Be Satisfied with 4 things in life:
(1) Mobile
(2) Automobile
(3) TV
(4) Wife
Because, there is always a
better model in neighborhood
😉

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Funny quote on a husband`s T-Shirt:

All girls are devils,
but my wife is the queen of them.

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆ ◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

Q - Why can't Women Drive well? 🚗
Ans - Because there are so many mirrors in a car to distract them..
😁
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Q - If a Woman is Quiet, which day is it?
Ans - Who Cares, just Enjoy that Day..
😂

◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆ ◆◆◆◆◆◇◆◆◆◆◆

The woman who invented the phrase ...
"All men are the same"
was a Chinese woman who lost her husband in a crowd.
😝

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There are 3 kinds of men in this
world.
Some remain single and make
wonders happen.
Some have girlfriends and see wonders happen.
Rest get married and wonder what happened....
😜😜

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Wives are magicians........

They can change anything into an argument.
😆😜

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Women live a Better, Longer &
Peaceful Life, as compared to men.
WHY?
A very INTELLIGENT man replied:
Women don't have a wife!
😜😜😆😜

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[ChunkyMonkeys]

Thanks for all the nice jokes

[Hurricane88]

I love this Story, 😂😂😂😂😂😂

A woman went shopping. At the cash counter, she opened her purse to pay.

The cashier noticed a TV remote in her purse.

He could not control his curiosity and asked,

"Do you always carry your TV remote with you?😕"

She replied " No, not always, but my husband refused to accompany me shopping today because of football match, so I took the remote."

*Moral: Accompany and support your wife in her hobbies.....*🙍🙍🙍🙍🙍🙍🙍

The story continues....😏

The cashier laughed and then returned all the items that lady had purchased.

Shocked at this act, she asked the cashier what he was doing.

He said, "your husband has blocked your credit card.........."😲😲😲😲😲😲

*MORAL: Always respect the hobbies of your husband.*😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒

Story continues....

Wife took out her husband's credit card from purse and swiped it. Unfortunately he didn't block his own card.

*Moral: Don't underestimate the power and wisdom of your WIFE..*

Story continues...

After swiping, the machine indicated, 'ENTER THE PIN SENT TO YOUR MOBILE PHONE'.......

*Moral: When a man tends to lose, the machine is smart enough to save him!*

Story continues....

She smiled to herself and reached out for the mobile which rang in her purse.

It was her husband's phone showing the forwarded SMS.

She had taken it with the remote control so he doesn't call her during her shopping.

She bought her items and returned home happily.

*Moral: Don't underestimate a desperate woman!*😷😷😷😷😷

Story continues....

On getting home, his car was gone.😈😈😈😈😈

A note was pasted on the door

"Couldn't find the remote. Gone out with the boys to watch the premiership match. Will be home late. Call me on my phone if you need something".😇😇😇😇

Damn... He left with the house key too.

😂😂😂😂

*Moral: Don't try to control your husband.
You will always lose😯😯😯😯😯😯😯😯

*Happy International Men's Day* to all Men in here
We appreciate us all🕺🏾

[bigbirdbird]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

I love this Story, 😂😂😂😂😂😂


*Moral: Don't try to control your husband.
You will always lose😯😯😯😯😯😯😯😯

*Happy International Men's Day* to all Men in here
We appreciate us all🕺🏾

555 LoL ..... Nice One Bro

[bigbirdbird]

There was an old couple who hadn't celebrated Halloween in a long time, so they decided to dress up and go out.

The old woman went in her bedroom, stripped naked, and tied a string between her legs with a lemon at the end of the string. When she walked out of the room her husband yelled, "You can't go out like that!" "I can go out as whatever I want and so can you!"

The man agreed and went into his room. Soon he came out naked with a string tied to his penis and a potato at the end of the string. The woman said, "You're going out as that?" "Yes," said the old man. "If you can go out as a sourpuss, I can go out as a dicktator."

[bigbirdbird]

Once there were twin brothers by the name of Jones. John Jones was married, and Joe Jones was single. The single brother, Joe, was the proud owner of a dilapidated row boat.

It happened that John Jone's wife died the same day that Joe's rowboat filled with water and sank. A few days later, a kindly old lady met Joe and mistaken him for John said; "Oh Mr. Jones, I am sorry to hear of your great loss, you must feel terrible".

Joe smiled and said, "Well I am not a bit sorry, she was rather old from the start. Her bottom was all chewed up and she smelled of dead fish. Even the first time I got into her, she made water faster than anything I ever saw. She had a bad crack and a pretty big hole in her front, and that hole got bigger every time I used her. It got so I could barely handle her, but if anyone else used her she leaked like anything. The thing that finished her was four guys from the other side of town.

They came down looking for a good time and asked if I could lend her to them. I warned them she wasn't so hot, but they could take a crack at her if they liked. Well, the result was the crazy fools tried to get inside her all at once and it was too much for her. She cracked right up the middle"... Before he could finish the old lady fainted!