Happily Married with an ex WL(VN)

[longwinter]

Originally Posted by DO_YOU_BJ

Trade secret leh.....how to share hehehehe
Tio bo bro Cas hehehehe

haha, here sbf leh, l thought we can discuss everything under the sun and let all bros benefit from it

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Originally Posted by longwinter

haha, here sbf leh, l thought we can discuss everything under the sun and let all bros benefit from it

HAHAH yes bro, share we must but to take out rice bowl to share rice a bit hardcore rite.
How to tun jia after that hehehehe

[longwinter]

Originally Posted by DO_YOU_BJ

HAHAH yes bro, share we must but to take out rice bowl to share rice a bit hardcore rite.
How to tun jia after that hehehehe

heez, blame on my kaypohness la.

[casannova03]

Originally Posted by ekemono

bro, my apology for being so critical. It is your story and should be your call.

I am sorry.

No need to sorry la....a good writer needs positive critics in order to improve.....haha!! appreciate it really...

[longwinter]

Originally Posted by casannova03

No need to sorry la....a good writer needs positive critics in order to improve.....haha!! appreciate it really...

Go Go Go bro! Looking forward to more of ur postings.

[casannova03]

Originally Posted by DO_YOU_BJ

Trade secret leh.....how to share hehehehe
Tio bo bro Cas hehehehe

Haha...bo la...no secrets la...you have to put in some hard work though.....read thru the different threads and you can find all their tricks liao....nothing new really....i think almost all the tricks revealed by clever bros in the forum liao...

haha..so the tough part is to decipher when are they KC-ing you and when are they real.....

That's why its such a dangerous path.......and therefore i got chance to share my humble point of view in this thread ma....

[colins]

Originally Posted by casannova03

haha..so the tough part is to decipher when are they KC-ing you and when are they real.....

That's why its such a dangerous path.......and therefore i got chance to share my humble point of view in this thread ma....

Thats why all details are important, esp the whole string of difficulties you faced. Personally, starting this controversial topic is already quite challenging, so I do respect your effort. So far so good.

[s(Aint]

wah interesting.. cant wait for next part

[casannova03]

Continued from....

http://sbf.today/matters...x-wl-vn-5.html

I just realised that my last part was a bit off from the above page...just treat the last part as special edition with additional info ok...haha... will continue the story from the above link..

Here goes....

Ok, so we are living together. But dun you guys think that all was lovely dovey all the ways cos we do have our quarrels and disagreements. Good stuffs first..

She will dutifully wake up early in the morning everyday(although she works till late the night before) and make sure that she prepares breakfast for me. It could be hot porridge or just simple bread with a fried egg. But i really appreciate it because she knows my habit of not taking breakfast and she says its not goood so she ownself automatic prepare and make sure i have it before i left for school. Why i touched? cos normally we sleep around 2-3 am the night before and i have to wake up around 6 and leave for school at 645 latest so imagine if she cooks porridge , she have to wake up at 5plus in the morning....Well, for those guys that have gf from this realm, you will know that most of them sleep till early afternoon at least..... so its an effort on her part which i appreciate..and also note that she has to go to school in the early afternoon unlike her peers..so this means she could not clock much sleep after i left .....

Lesson: I dunno but for me, If the your gal really love you, i guess she will tke the extra effort and the step to make sure she takes care of you. I think they cannot be bothered to do such things if they just want to KC you cos there're easier ways i suppose....so look out for the things that she does for you...might be simple stuffs but its the thought that matters and in this case, it did matter a lot to me. On a level playing ground, i think SG gals lose out on this...big time!!!

So at that moment in time, we actually had a daily routine. Morning wake up, eat breakfast, i go to school.

She will go to school herself somewhere in town. When my school finishes, i will pick her up frm school and back home.

Her friends would have prepared dinner so we will all dine together and they will make up while i shower.

Then become ahmad send them to work. after which i will return home to study..and do my work...

When reach time, ahmad 'chu chia' again go pick up the whole gang back home.

So most almost 6months, we sort of work according to this routine....

[jackbl]

Really envy of you on this... even myself also done such things for my loved one

Originally Posted by casannova03

She will dutifully wake up early in the morning everyday(although she works till late the night before) and make sure that she prepares breakfast for me. It could be hot porridge or just simple bread with a fried egg.

Wow during school days also have a car to drive, u are filthy RICH man... even now i still dun have a motor or car yet

Originally Posted by casannova03

Then become ahmad send them to work. after which i will return home to study..and do my work...

When reach time, ahmad 'chu chia' again go pick up the whole gang back home.

So most almost 6months, we sort of work according to this routine....

[casannova03]

Originally Posted by jackbl

Wow during school days also have a car to drive, u are filthy RICH man... even now i still dun have a motor or car yet

No la....of course that time not i pay la.....its my lao bei pay la but i pay fuel lor...hahaha...yeah, i must admit i was quite lucky on this point...but at the end of the day its my lao bei's money and not mine...so i still have to slog it out back then for my own living expenses...

[darkangel]

Bro casa, very true life story and very touching, do continue to share and all bros will appreciate the experiences and thoughts that they may come across in future.

Hope to see more details and also why not put up some covered face photos like facebook, e.g. married photos, sure attract many attention one, hehe

Up you my humble points, sincerely darkangel.

[casannova03]

Originally Posted by darkangel

Bro casa, very true life story and very touching, do continue to share and all bros will appreciate the experiences and thoughts that they may come across in future.

Hope to see more details and also why not put up some covered face photos like facebook, e.g. married photos, sure attract many attention one, hehe

Up you my humble points, sincerely darkangel.

Thanks bro...i will definitely keep sharing and helping...

Eh, as to sharing photos...hmmm...maybe not la...there's too much risk in doing so..(too many eat-full-nothing-to-do people in here who will grab at the first chance to sabotage).
i'm personally ok about it but it will be unfair to my wife because if someone were to recognise the wedding settings and gowns then I'll be very selfish for dragging her into this....

Hope you understand!

[casannova03]

Now i understand why some bros with stories and/or experiences to share often feel that its a waste of time - because there will be jokers out here who are ever ready to shoot you down with their senseless insults and destructive comments..

In the very beginning, sharing of specific information and experiences is really meant for people who really cares and/or take an interest in the topic started by the thread starter. Therefore these jokers have no business to be commenting on things that they despise...

At the end of the day, a threadstarter has no gains whatsoever (maybe points...but what for? and for what?) except to help other bros understand certain issues better, not because they are the saint , but only because they have had the experience of being through certain situations before. What's there to gain by detailing your life stories on a forum? Absolutely nothing...

No doubt there are wannabes out that that posed as someone very experienced with their pathetic hope of scoring points in here. However one must note that there is a genuine spirit of sharing and helping in here, with many of such help taken off forum. This in fact should be the spirit of a community such as SBF. By sharing and helping... and criticising constructively....i've read somewhere that even BOSS himself have attended such TCSS's gatherings albeit keeping his identity concealed. No matter what, I'm sure many bros have benefitted from the forum at a certain point in their surfing - whether directly or indirectly - with great friendships forged through here.

To the many bros who have supported one another thru times good and bad, i'll say: You Guys Rock!! keep it up!!

To the others who have made little serious contributions except to reply threads with lame one liners such as "i agree", "me too", posting a few pics and vids to score points and still have the cheek to insult others and try to discredit other worthy contributions, i'll say : your online actions are the perfect reflection of your personal life!
Get a life!! Your online persona will get you nowhere except reminding others that you are the REAL loser in your own life. You should be ashamed of yourself...instead of the ego-boosting adrenalin rush you felt after every insult that you post.

With no viable routes to vent your pent-up disagreements and questionable views and opinions within society and cliques, you have chosen to do so behind the veil of secrecy on the internet. This only further highlight your disengagement from the mainstream society. It's such a shame! You know who you are!!

You may continue to do so as you wished because at the end of the day, your insults amounts to nothing to the true contributors of this very forum who more often than not are successful people in their own realms....not because they are lucky in their life with gals or that they are rich by birth....simply because they have the courage to identify with themselves and are able to correct their own behaviours towards the successful path they so craved.

This confidence in turns translates into their confident postings in the forum which you chose to interprete as being arrogant and in your words- yaya. Simply because you craved to be one of them but failed miserably. This can be interpreted as the loser in you who chose to give up at the first obstacle and continue to complain and whine till the end of days....when that becomes a habit , slowly but surely it becomes an obsession and you turn abusive!

No one in life succeed the first time they try something new! even if they do, it's got nothing to with anyone but themselves. Because they have put in the equivalent amount of effort and time in researching and practicing their selected endeavour. This is the key to success in most everything you do.

While being no saint myself, I'm able to identify with myself for the efforts and resulting returns. ..I dun expect to get 200 acres of rice harvest when I've only planted in 20 sq metres of land!.....

I am who I am because I did what I did!!

Understand little boy?? yes...you...the one who keeps going around zapping people and giving insulting comments and asking others to grow up.....
.....stop doing that for you yourself have stopped growing since the day you chose to vent your personal frustrations at others....

You may be 30, 40, 50 or even 60 for all i care, but you definitely have a mentality similar to that of a teenager during puberty - struggling to cope with the increased hormonal changes inside your own body.

Why not spend the time insulting yourself? you might get enlightened during one of these sessions and become a better person!

[casannova03]

...Continued

Living together is not all about the good times for this is the experience that will show you each others habits good and bad. Which in turn leads to disagreements and quarrels.....for me, it stopped at that for there are known cases where such disagreements led to fights..Which i do not endorse personally....I have actually posted on some earlier and general challenges in one of my earlier posting..that was with regards to the earlier part of the relationship...now i'm going to share the middle part....

Challenges 1- Playing 2nd fiddle

With the benefit of hindsight, i am now able to realise that one of the biggest challenge, besides language barrier, is the cultural difference between us Singaporeans and Vietnamese...

Perhaps one of the most glaring one is the fact that her parents and siblings and even extended family members will always be regarded with higher esteem than you,the husband or boyfriend...I might sound a bit contradictory here because i did mention that she gave me money meant for her family home-building. But my point is, no matter how much they love you, dun expect your words to be taken seriously by them....initially

There was once during my stay together, two of my wife's cousin came to Singapore to work. They were her bigger cousins , meaning more senior and what they say carry weight. I hate the younger one to the core and have contemplated beating her up!! (not anymore...was young and impulsive then) When they were around and about, they threw their authority about and demanded things to be done their way. Whenever they did not get things done, they will threatened, insult and beat till it is done their way. To highlight one particular case: they will be in charge of all the marketing(as in going to the market) and then share the costs amongst the rest staying in the house. It came to my awareness that they knnbccb bought bird's nest and shark fin for their personal consumption but calculated it to be shared among everyone!!!My wife being the younger cousin always gave in to them. Even her friends that were staying kept quiet and tolerated it for they did not want to create trouble for my wife.

Well, as you can expect a hot-blooded male like me dun like being bossed around....unreasonably!!! I confronted my wife first and asked her about that. Well, her reply completely took me off guard.
"aiya let them do what they want la...we cannot do anything about it"

Simi is cannot do anything about it?? I am going to chase them out of the house!! (that time house was rented under yours truly's name) She protested and we got into a quarrel with my persistence that something must be done.

"if you do that, then i'm gonna leave you!!"

What the fuck?? To me at that time, that was a shock!! i mean i was trying to correct some wrong which was so obvious and was threatened with her departure from me...

Lesson: This is something that has got to do with their strict family upbringing. Influenced strongly by Confucius, they regard the family as the strongest most important element of life. This can be seen by the fact that they still stick strictly to the way they address different family members. There is a different so called 'place' in the family for everyone and the due respect is to be given regardless of whether you like the person or not.

Vietnamese children are taught to accord such respect from the time they are a toddler. They will have to pay respect to the seniors in the family by going up to that senior, arms folded across their chest, slightly bowing, and greet them. Of course when they grow older, such formality are dispense with but the whole idea of respect remains for a senior's words hold weight.

My View:
If you do not understand that as a bf or husband to be, you are not ranked very high, you might start to wonder why her who and who is always more important than me. This mentality might create a drift in the relationship that is destructive. Also, sometimes when your concerns with regards to the actions of her family members are not voiced out tactfully and carefully, you might get yourself into unnecessary quarrels.

The whole idea is here is to let you guys know that dun try to impose your own ideas on her too soon too fast. Its not that they disagree with your opinions. For example, they might agree with you that her father is spending too much money but they are just not in the position to challenge ....yet. You will have to 'educate' her with the correct measures. This takes considerable time and effort. You dun want to be regarded as someone who is always against her family....even though you are right....it might be counter-productive for your relationship with her due to the constant quarrels with regards to her family. She might just end up thinking that she'll be better off without you because she's already having a hrad time trying to meet expectations back home and there you are, instead of helping her cope, you'll giving her more trouble by trying to ask her to stage a rebellion/coup!!


Try to understand why they are thinking in certain ways in some situations. Could it be due to the above-mentioned reason? If yes, you have to approach it with tact and patience. Having a humorous nature helps...

suggestions in the next installment......