All you need to know about "Marriage/Divorce" under the SG Law

[popeye21]

need advice on this matter bros.

my ex wife has care n control of my kids. they are young. 6 yrs old,4 yrs old and 18 mnths. i get to see the first 2 every fortnight n have overnight access from fri to sunday. my last kid i will see weekly for 2 hrs until he is 3 den he will follow
the rest to have overnight access.

now i want to fight care and control of the kids. each time they come deybwill cry n not wanting to go back. dey will say my ex wife will leve dem with their grabdma and no one to entertain dem at hme. i jave asked my ex wife to send dem to me on weekdays or wenever she ia busy so i can entertain the kids and she can do her stuff but she decline.

i suspect she is using the kids for money. i divorce her cause she has many debts from banks to personal loan to license money lender. m paying 1320 for 3 kids monthl. the kids is under welfare as their childcare is heavily subsidised.

my qn is what can i do to fight for care and control for my kids? i do not want them to be left alone and doing nth at hme with their grandma. i have strong family support with both my parents n siblings entertaining n love the kids. both my parents are not working. how do i stop her from gaining much from the monthly maintenance?

[Big Sexy]

i assumed you have joint custody....if you can provide solid evidence that your wife is not capable of taking good care of the kids (addicted to gambling, bad influence etc)and has neglected her duties to them than go ahead and engage a lawyer and apply to the court to review your case....... The welfare of the child is a top priority when deciding who will have custody of the child....

as for the other question on maintenance ... read post 75 onwards in this thread. points to take note ...1. maintenance for the wife 2. for the child.

Originally Posted by popeye21

my qn is what can i do to fight for care and control for my kids? i do not want them to be left alone and doing nth at hme with their grandma. i have strong family support with both my parents n siblings entertaining n love the kids. both my parents are not working. how do i stop her from gaining much from the monthly maintenance?

[xxx_OrOcO_xxx]

I'd assume both of yourself and ex-wife have Joint Custody, which meant joint decisions over healthcare, education and religion etc.

Care and control order is normally given to the mothers. Family Justice Courts (FJCs) rarely grant a full care and control order to the fathers unless it is under any ONE or more of the following:

- consent obtained from mother
- the child had to express clearly in the court that he/she wished to live with the father
- the mother is abusive and/or neglectful of the child

Based on what you have shared, you'd need to file for Variations to Parenting Order. You can either do it yourself or engage a lawyer.

DIY: You just need to write an affidavit and attached evidences/documents together, and to be verified/signed by a Commissioner of Oaths (any law firms, or the on-site District Judge at FJCs). An affidavit is a legal sworn statement that you wished to make in the application for relevant court proceedings.

After that, you need to prepare the Summons and filed together with the affidavit at Crimson Logic Service Bureau (Chinatown Point branch or Supreme Court branch). Total fees incurred will be around $75. Once the filing at Crimson Logic is done, you will receive a SMS notification to collect back relevant documents, and be notified on a court date for your filed application. If you cannot make it on the court date, you will need to write an email to FJCs to seek for a change in date.

Usually, the first court session will be of a mediation session lead by the Mediator-Judge, who can make court orders when both parties agreed in a mediation session. Otherwise, the case will proceed onto a Trial. Once the Judge hears and considered all valid points made by both parties, the Judge will deliver the Judgement. If you want to appeal the Judgement (if it is not in your favour), you will need to go to the High Court division of the FJCs. Rarely, the case will go onto the Appeal Court (the highest Court).

Lastly, Joint Custody orders and Maintenance orders are treated separately. So one cannot use the reason of not able to see the kids and what not, and not pay the relevant maintenance.

Originally Posted by popeye21

need advice on this matter bros.

my ex wife has care n control of my kids. they are young. 6 yrs old,4 yrs old and 18 mnths. i get to see the first 2 every fortnight n have overnight access from fri to sunday. my last kid i will see weekly for 2 hrs until he is 3 den he will follow
the rest to have overnight access.

now i want to fight care and control of the kids. each time they come deybwill cry n not wanting to go back. dey will say my ex wife will leve dem with their grabdma and no one to entertain dem at hme. i jave asked my ex wife to send dem to me on weekdays or wenever she ia busy so i can entertain the kids and she can do her stuff but she decline.

i suspect she is using the kids for money. i divorce her cause she has many debts from banks to personal loan to license money lender. m paying 1320 for 3 kids monthl. the kids is under welfare as their childcare is heavily subsidised.

my qn is what can i do to fight for care and control for my kids? i do not want them to be left alone and doing nth at hme with their grandma. i have strong family support with both my parents n siblings entertaining n love the kids. both my parents are not working. how do i stop her from gaining much from the monthly maintenance?

[Lazyass69]

Be honest you had a bad relation.. right

[popeye21]

Originally Posted by xxx_OrOcO_xxx

I'd assume both of yourself and ex-wife have Joint Custody, which meant joint decisions over healthcare, education and religion etc.

Care and control order is normally given to the mothers. Family Justice Courts (FJCs) rarely grant a full care and control order to the fathers unless it is under any ONE or more of the following:

- consent obtained from mother
- the child had to express clearly in the court that he/she wished to live with the father
- the mother is abusive and/or neglectful of the child

Based on what you have shared, you'd need to file for Variations to Parenting Order. You can either do it yourself or engage a lawyer.

DIY: You just need to write an affidavit and attached evidences/documents together, and to be verified/signed by a Commissioner of Oaths (any law firms, or the on-site District Judge at FJCs). An affidavit is a legal sworn statement that you wished to make in the application for relevant court proceedings.

After that, you need to prepare the Summons and filed together with the affidavit at Crimson Logic Service Bureau (Chinatown Point branch or Supreme Court branch). Total fees incurred will be around $75. Once the filing at Crimson Logic is done, you will receive a SMS notification to collect back relevant documents, and be notified on a court date for your filed application. If you cannot make it on the court date, you will need to write an email to FJCs to seek for a change in date.

Usually, the first court session will be of a mediation session lead by the Mediator-Judge, who can make court orders when both parties agreed in a mediation session. Otherwise, the case will proceed onto a Trial. Once the Judge hears and considered all valid points made by both parties, the Judge will deliver the Judgement. If you want to appeal the Judgement (if it is not in your favour), you will need to go to the High Court division of the FJCs. Rarely, the case will go onto the Appeal Court (the highest Court).

Lastly, Joint Custody orders and Maintenance orders are treated separately. So one cannot use the reason of not able to see the kids and what not, and not pay the relevant maintenance.

thx bro!!!

[popeye21]

Originally Posted by Lazyass69

Be honest you had a bad relation.. right

bad relation with? my ex wife? we don see eye to eye or talk unless necessary. i also don want anything to do with her. my main concern is the kids welfare. i have flexibility in my timing at work and i can wfh. i can educate the kids also. she cant do it and my kids inform me everyday after sch dey play ipad n she leave dem with her mum while she goes out with her bf. so why not dey come to me so i can entertain dem with books and stuff.

[starshoot3r]

Anyone know what could be the Judge decision with regards to child access rights for child less than a year old if the father fails to get care and control?

[popeye21]

Originally Posted by starshoot3r

Anyone know what could be the Judge decision with regards to child access rights for child less than a year old if the father fails to get care and control?

for me i gt supervised access for my son for 2 hours each week. he is less than a year old. care n control is to the mother cos they are young. when he reaches 3, he will join the rest and i have overnight access every 2 weeks

[xxx_OrOcO_xxx]

It really depends on the exact circumstances of your case:

1. As per previous postings, fathers do not usually get care and control of the child, it is usually (almost always) given to the mothers.
2. In terms of child access, you have the right to see your child regularly i.e. weekly basis, once every two weeks etc. This will require cooperation between the parents. If there are issues that resulted in prolonged periods of not able to see the child, you need to file for a Variation to the Parenting Order - refer to one of my previous postings.

Originally Posted by starshoot3r

Anyone know what could be the Judge decision with regards to child access rights for child less than a year old if the father fails to get care and control?

[garcia23]

Hi all,

I might have to go through divorce soon. We are married for close to 1 year and I am the one taking care of everything in the house including all monthly household expenses to doing her laundry and taking care of our pets. We have no children and all she does is only work and come back home to sleep and of course sex is like once every 3-4 weeks.

She do not need to worry abt a single thing in the house and her only contribution is part of the mortage loan of $300. Ours is a resale flat and I paid from downpayment to reno to furnitures etc almost everything and she only came out with $20k which is part of the reno costs.

Lastly is our car which i am also paying for everything and she is the only one who drives everyday so she pays for fuel and cashcard only.

All the above involving money was documented except for performing housework.

Why i will think of divorce is because we always fight and argue over the slightest things and she will always threatened to divorce. Sometimes in the end both of us will end up with injuries because she will always be the first to start verbal abuse and then to throw stuffs at me then to throwing slaps and punches. It has been going on since we got married and really showing her true colors. She appreciates nothing done by me and only find faults when she is in a bad mood.

She is a jiuhu pr and was a divorcee before. I only knew she was the defendant and her ex gave her $200k after divorce. May i know should i let her file for divorce first and should i file first or there is no difference? From now on what should i do to protect myself including my assets? Can some nice bros recommend good lawyers to mitigate my potential losses?

[Frankiestine]

Originally Posted by garcia23

Hi all,

I might have to go through divorce soon. We are married for close to 1 year and I am the one taking care of everything in the house including all monthly household expenses to doing her laundry and taking care of our pets. We have no children and all she does is only work and come back home to sleep and of course sex is like once every 3-4 weeks.

She do not need to worry abt a single thing in the house and her only contribution is part of the mortage loan of $300. Ours is a resale flat and I paid from downpayment to reno to furnitures etc almost everything and she only came out with $20k which is part of the reno costs.

Lastly is our car which i am also paying for everything and she is the only one who drives everyday so she pays for fuel and cashcard only.

All the above involving money was documented except for performing housework.

Why i will think of divorce is because we always fight and argue over the slightest things and she will always threatened to divorce. Sometimes in the end both of us will end up with injuries because she will always be the first to start verbal abuse and then to throw stuffs at me then to throwing slaps and punches. It has been going on since we got married and really showing her true colors. She appreciates nothing done by me and only find faults when she is in a bad mood.

She is a jiuhu pr and was a divorcee before. I only knew she was the defendant and her ex gave her $200k after divorce. May i know should i let her file for divorce first and should i file first or there is no difference? From now on what should i do to protect myself including my assets? Can some nice bros recommend good lawyers to mitigate my potential losses?

you want to file first then better take pic of the injuries as proof also see doc to get it documented...at least it makes a stronger case for you to file under unreasonable behavior since you can't file under any of the other categories..as for the division of wealth, that i am not sure but previously i did hear lawyers said the number of years staying in the communal home plays a part in this...its is always best to have proof of your contribution...

[xxx_OrOcO_xxx]

Based on the facts you have provided:

1. You are not able to file for divorce at this time. Both Parties (Plaintiff and Defendant) need to be married at least 3 years, before filing for divorce. However, either party can still file for divorce if either party can provide evidences on exceptional depravity or exceptional hardship. Examples of exceptional depravity can be: either party do not wish to engage in sexual intercourse or do not want to make love, do not allow physical intimacy etc. In your case, it is not. In my opinion, there is no exceptional hardship too.

So, for your specific situation, if you cannot live with her, my humble suggestion is to live on your own immediately. The positive side is that you are not in any physical violence with your current spouse. Because once there is family violence involved, usually the male spouses are not in any advantageous position. So, now its a good time for you to stay away from her, to avoid any physical conflict, and live on your own basis. This will be known as Separation.

Again, depending on what you wishes to do: you may filed for Deed of Separation - and this will require both Parties' agreement. If both parties cannot agree on the Deed of Separation, both parties need to be separated for at least 3 years to be divorced.

Filing for Annulment of Marriage - marriage never existed and was never valid: this option NOT valid for your circumstances

2. Only one ground for getting a divorce: that the marriage between two Parties has broken down irretrievably. Just need one fact to prove irretrievable breakdown of marriage:

- Adultery i.e. extramarital affairs
- Unreasonable behaviour i.e. family violence
- Desertion: Defendant has deserted Plaintiff for 2 years with no intention of returning
- Living Apart: I. Parties have lived apart for 3 years and the Defendant consents to divorce OR II. Parties have lived apart for 4 years (Without the consent of both parties).


3. Is this your first marriage or second? As for your current wife who is a Malaysian PR in Singapore - with alimony or maintenance from previous marriage SGD200k, the Family Justice Courts and/or the relevant Judge(s) do take note of this detail. In my humble opinion, this should be able to help you in terms of maintenance for her: maybe less maintenance or no maintenance at all, depending the circumstances of the case.

4. Whether one should be the one first Party to commence divorce proceedings, usually does not make a difference. However, the first Party to commence the divorce proceedings will be known as the Plaintiff, the responding Party will be Defendant.

Again, I am giving an opinion based on what you have mentioned here. So my suggestion is to first seek relevant legal advice via a family practice lawyer or walk-in legal clinics i.e. Community Justice Centre at State Courts building in Chinatown.

5. Good family law firms you can consider: PKWA Law, Evershed Harry Elias, Drew Napier.

Originally Posted by garcia23

Hi all,

I might have to go through divorce soon. We are married for close to 1 year and I am the one taking care of everything in the house including all monthly household expenses to doing her laundry and taking care of our pets. We have no children and all she does is only work and come back home to sleep and of course sex is like once every 3-4 weeks.

She do not need to worry abt a single thing in the house and her only contribution is part of the mortage loan of $300. Ours is a resale flat and I paid from downpayment to reno to furnitures etc almost everything and she only came out with $20k which is part of the reno costs.

Lastly is our car which i am also paying for everything and she is the only one who drives everyday so she pays for fuel and cashcard only.

All the above involving money was documented except for performing housework.

Why i will think of divorce is because we always fight and argue over the slightest things and she will always threatened to divorce. Sometimes in the end both of us will end up with injuries because she will always be the first to start verbal abuse and then to throw stuffs at me then to throwing slaps and punches. It has been going on since we got married and really showing her true colors. She appreciates nothing done by me and only find faults when she is in a bad mood.

She is a jiuhu pr and was a divorcee before. I only knew she was the defendant and her ex gave her $200k after divorce. May i know should i let her file for divorce first and should i file first or there is no difference? From now on what should i do to protect myself including my assets? Can some nice bros recommend good lawyers to mitigate my potential losses?

[garcia23]

Originally Posted by xxx_OrOcO_xxx

Based on the facts you have provided:

1. You are not able to file for divorce at this time. Both Parties (Plaintiff and Defendant) need to be married at least 3 years, before filing for divorce. However, either party can still file for divorce if either party can provide evidences on exceptional depravity or exceptional hardship. Examples of exceptional depravity can be: either party do not wish to engage in sexual intercourse or do not want to make love, do not allow physical intimacy etc. In your case, it is not. In my opinion, there is no exceptional hardship too.

So, for your specific situation, if you cannot live with her, my humble suggestion is to live on your own immediately. The positive side is that you are not in any physical violence with your current spouse. Because once there is family violence involved, usually the male spouses are not in any advantageous position. So, now its a good time for you to stay away from her, to avoid any physical conflict, and live on your own basis. This will be known as Separation.

Again, depending on what you wishes to do: you may filed for Deed of Separation - and this will require both Parties' agreement. If both parties cannot agree on the Deed of Separation, both parties need to be separated for at least 3 years to be divorced.

Filing for Annulment of Marriage - marriage never existed and was never valid: this option NOT valid for your circumstances

2. Only one ground for getting a divorce: that the marriage between two Parties has broken down irretrievably. Just need one fact to prove irretrievable breakdown of marriage:

- Adultery i.e. extramarital affairs
- Unreasonable behaviour i.e. family violence
- Desertion: Defendant has deserted Plaintiff for 2 years with no intention of returning
- Living Apart: I. Parties have lived apart for 3 years and the Defendant consents to divorce OR II. Parties have lived apart for 4 years (Without the consent of both parties).


3. Is this your first marriage or second? As for your current wife who is a Malaysian PR in Singapore - with alimony or maintenance from previous marriage SGD200k, the Family Justice Courts and/or the relevant Judge(s) do take note of this detail. In my humble opinion, this should be able to help you in terms of maintenance for her: maybe less maintenance or no maintenance at all, depending the circumstances of the case.

4. Whether one should be the one first Party to commence divorce proceedings, usually does not make a difference. However, the first Party to commence the divorce proceedings will be known as the Plaintiff, the responding Party will be Defendant.

Again, I am giving an opinion based on what you have mentioned here. So my suggestion is to first seek relevant legal advice via a family practice lawyer or walk-in legal clinics i.e. Community Justice Centre at State Courts building in Chinatown.

5. Good family law firms you can consider: PKWA Law, Evershed Harry Elias, Drew Napier.

Hi bro,



Thanks a lot for your kind guidance. May I know why not able to file for annulment?

I think I can only file for divorce under unreasonable behavior.

Regarding the Deed of Separation, if both parties agree then still have to wait for 3 years then can divorce? What’s the difference between agreed and non-agreed? I googled but don’t really understand.

What if she starts throwing and breaking stuffs again or she throws stuffs at me (whether injured or not injured) and I file for police report and then apply for PPO?

Does it helps?

This is my first marriage and also for the law firms that you recommended, are there any specific male lawyers who I can look for?

Any tips to protect my assets as well?

I would like to end this asap whereas possible.

We can pm if you like.
Thanks again!

[Frankiestine]

Originally Posted by garcia23

Hi bro,

Regarding the Deed of Separation, if both parties agree then still have to wait for 3 years then can divorce?

If you are married for more then 3 years assuming both parties agreed to it, you can try backdate the separation date back to 3 years or more in order to be able to file under Separation..

[xxx_OrOcO_xxx]

Annulment is only valid for specific circumstances i.e. couples go through the legal marriage registration and became husband + wife. After that, both parties never live together, and never contact each other. Such circumstances happen when things turn extremely sour after ROM. So annulment is not valid for you, based on your described circumstances. So yes, imho, you can only file for unreasonable behaviour.

Deed of Separation is simply a legal document that sets the terms of separation, and this legal document is only valid when both parties agreed.

When both parties agree on a separation, the mutually agreed separation of minimum 3 years need to be meet, as a valid ground of divorce. Quite a lot prefer this, because it is less trouble and less confrontations.

When only one party agree to a separation; that party who wants separation needs to start to live on his/her own immediately. In this kind of situation, this has to pass the 4 year mark, then can be served as a valid ground of divorce.

In terms of possible family violence, you'd need to get out immediately and live on your own. As mentioned, male spouse tend to be more disadvantaged in terms of family violence. The law in Singapore, as of now, always deem female gender as the weaker gender that needs better protection. IMHO, it's called Women's Charter; not Family Charter, certainly not Men's Charter.

This is my humble opinion and recommendation: please always get a female lawyer for representation in Family Justice Courts, not a male lawyer. It's also easier for female lawyer to contact the female spouse easier if any issues. If language is an issue, please get hold of a lawyer who can speak in your preferred language.

As for assets protection, you'd need to make sure that there are no assets under both parties' names. If so, you'd need to figure out how to separate the affected assets. Otherwise, just keep your own assets confidentially. Although, depending the case circumstances, the Family Justice Courts can ORDER the disclosure of each Party's assets.

Originally Posted by garcia23

Hi bro,



Thanks a lot for your kind guidance. May I know why not able to file for annulment?

I think I can only file for divorce under unreasonable behavior.

Regarding the Deed of Separation, if both parties agree then still have to wait for 3 years then can divorce? What’s the difference between agreed and non-agreed? I googled but don’t really understand.

What if she starts throwing and breaking stuffs again or she throws stuffs at me (whether injured or not injured) and I file for police report and then apply for PPO?

Does it helps?

This is my first marriage and also for the law firms that you recommended, are there any specific male lawyers who I can look for?

Any tips to protect my assets as well?

I would like to end this asap whereas possible.

We can pm if you like.
Thanks again!