Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[payjustnow]

Originally Posted by Emollo

Singapore's cabinet is even better, minister can sleep during parliament. Guess who? The one and only gan silang sia suay cotton-is-from-sheep Trade and Industry minister

We have such blur minister?

[havana]

Originally Posted by malaysiapig

Haha best eye check

Looks like 43 to me

[malaysiapig]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Will the guy sabotage by his colleague
5 dose in one shot becomee like this

[SBMEDSUP]

Happy CNY. Need more doses of jokes.

[testingfield]

Premature ejaculation
A man was having premature ejaculation problems so he went to the doctor. The doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself." That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol and ran home to his wife. That night the two were having sex and found themselves in the 69 position. The man felt the urge to ejaculate and fired the starter pistol. The next day he went back to the doctor who asked how it went. The man answered, "Not well. When I fired the pistol, my wife pooped on my face, bit three inches off my penis, and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air."

A little old lady is late for church
And settles into a pew at the back just as the priest is saying "And anyone who has recently committed adultery should stand up." Being somewhat hard of hearing, she asks the boy next to her to repeat what the priest just said. "He asked everyone who wants a mint to stand up." The boy replied mischievously.

The old lady unsteadily gets to her feet, much to the priest's horror. "At your age?" He exclaims, "You should be ashamed!" The old lady swiftly retorts "Just because I don't have any teeth left doesn't mean I can't suck on something from time to time!"

[Orange22]

Originally Posted by testingfield

A little old lady is late for church
And settles into a pew at the back just as the priest is saying "And anyone who has recently committed adultery should stand up." Being somewhat hard of hearing, she asks the boy next to her to repeat what the priest just said. "He asked everyone who wants a mint to stand up." The boy replied mischievously.

The old lady unsteadily gets to her feet, much to the priest's horror. "At your age?" He exclaims, "You should be ashamed!" The old lady swiftly retorts "Just because I don't have any teeth left doesn't mean I can't suck on something from time to time!"

Nice share bro

[ferr4ri]

A guy sat next to me in the bus today and pulled out a photo of his wife.

He asked me “Ain’t she beautiful?”

I said “If you think she’s beautiful, you should see my wife”

He replied with “ Why, is she a stunner as well?”

I said “ No, she’s an optician”

[dyelook]

laughter bumps...

[Toastwich]

Originally Posted by etsys

Haha is the little boy's name Johnny?

[ipwnyou]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

A German girl married a Spanish man & went to Spain.. She can't speak Spanish.. Each time she wants to buy chicken legs, she would lift her skirt & show her thighs to enable the seller to understand her... This went on for sometime.. One day she wanted to buy bananas.. So she took her husband to the shop.. (dont laugh listen first.. dirty minds) Because her husband speaks Spanish maa.!
It's Thursday so chill guys ����

Walao fall for the trap

[SBMEDSUP]

More more jokes pls.

[MPLover]

Originally Posted by ferr4ri

A guy sat next to me in the bus today and pulled out a photo of his wife.

He asked me “Ain’t she beautiful?”

I said “If you think she’s beautiful, you should see my wife”

He replied with “ Why, is she a stunner as well?”

I said “ No, she’s an optician”

Nice joke bro.

[Lazyass69]

Originally Posted by sammyboyfor

Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]
................

Didn't got one thing why not sharing samsters Nickname
Don't mind I new on the Forum

[etsys]

Originally Posted by Lazyass69

Didn't got one thing why not sharing samsters Nickname
Don't mind I new on the Forum

Catch no ball, but I up you anyway

This - from PH - some make sense, some- just ignore (tagalog .. )

1. Parlor in San Juan is named “Cut & Face”.
2. Wholesaler of balut in Sto.Tomas, Batangas: “Starducks”.
3. Fast food eatery in Nueva Ecija: “Violybee”
4. Internet cafe opened among squatters named “Cafe Pindot”.
5. In Manila , there’s a laundry named, “Summa Cum Laundry”.
6. Petshop in Ortigas: “Pussies and Bitches”.
7. A pet shop in Kamuning: “Pakita Mo Pet Mo”.
8. Bakery: “Bread Pit”.
9. Bank in Alabang: “Alabank”.
10. Restaurant in Pampanga named, “Mekeni Rogers”.
11. Restaurant in Pasig : “Johnny’s Fried Chicken: The ‘Fried’ of Marikina “.
12. A boxing gym: “Blow Jab”.
13. A tombstone maker in Antipolo: “Lito Lapida”.
14. A copy center in Sikatuna Village called “Pakopya ni Edgar”.
15. A beerhouse in Cavite called, “Chickpoint” .
16. Laundromat in Sikatuna: ” Star Wash : Attack of the Clothes”.
17. Internet cafe in Taguig named, “n@kopi@”.
18. Name of a kambingan, “Sa Goat Kita”.
19. A salon somewhere, “Curl Up And Dye”.
20. A lugawan in Sta. Maria, Bulacan: “Gee Congee”.
21. A water refilling station in Dapitan named “Wa-Thirst”.
22. A store selling feeds for chickens: “Robocock”.
23. Shoe repair in Marikina : “Dr. Shoe-Bago”.
24. Shoe repair store along Commonwealth, “SHOEPERMAN: we will HEEL you,
save your SOLE, and even DYE for you”.
25. Petshop: “Petness First”
26. Flower shop: “Susan’s Roses”.
27. Taxicab: “Income Taxi”.
28. A 2nd hand watch store: “2nd Time Around”.
29. A squid stall in a wet market: “Pusit to the Limit”.
30. A gay lawyer’s extension office: ” Nota Republic “.
31. A ceiling installer: ” Kisame Street “.
32. A car repair shop: “Bangga ka ‘day?”
33. An aquatic pet store in Malolos: “Fish Be With You”.
34. A beauty salon: “Saudia Hairlines”.
35. A bakery: “Anak Ng Tinapay”.
36. A resto along Mayon road in Manila : “May Lisa Eatery”.
37. Laundry shop: “Wash Your Problem”.
38. This mobile massage business name isn’t funny, but
their slogan is: “Asian Mobile Massage Service: Massage only, God is
watching”.
39. Ice cream parlor: “Dila Lang Ang Katapat”.
40. Chicharon store: “Chicha Hut”.
41. Neighborhood pizza store: “Pizza Hot”.
42. A fishball cart near UST: “Eat My Balls”.
43. A barbershop in Cagayan de Oro: “Pinoy Big Barber”.
44. A Resto: “The Last Supper”.
45. A goto resto: “Goto Ko Pa!”
46. A gym in Malolos: ” Gaymann Fitness Center “.
47. A store selling fresh chicken, owned by woman named Dina: “Dina Fresh
Chicken”.
48. Salon: “Hair Dot Comb”.
49. Signage on a restaurant: “We are open 25 hrs. a day – no lunch/dinner breaks!”
50. A funeral parlor in Bacoor, Cavite :”Funeraria Happy” ==

CREATIVE BUSINESS NAMES IN THE PHILIPPINES
happy reading!
1 Aristocart - a kariton of food in UP
2 Bread pitt
3 Chicago balls - tindahan ng fish, squid,at shrimp balls
4 Tapsiturbi - tapa sinangag turon bibingka.
5 Galit Galit Muna – Carinderia near Malacanang
6 Cooking ng Ina Mo – Karinderia
7 Cooking ng Ina Mo Rin – Sa tabi ng Cooking ng Ina Mo Karinderia
8 Caintacky Fried Chicken- in Cainta, Rizal
9 Elizabeth Tailoring – (Elizabeth Tailor)
10 Anita Bakery – (Anita Baker)
11 "McDUGO” - Isawan
12 The Way We Wear (Boutique)
13 Wrap and Roll (lumpia outlet, Quad, Makati)
14 BIll's Gate - a computer/cybershop
15 Robin & Son's eatery (sa harap ng Robinsons)
16 Motherhacker's Computer shop
17 South SuperHardware
18 Joey Bee
19 Aling Bebeng's Bulaluhan and Beauty Parlor – nakakatakot
20 Manny Bilyar – Bilyaran ni Manny
21 Peter fan- electric fan repair shop
22 Pinoy Big Burger Jollibeer- carinderia in our town
23 Gym Carry - a gym somewhere
24 Star Wash Laundry
25 Monay Lisa - bakery
26 Sam and Miguel Beerhouse
27 Sylvester's Salon
28 Meet Ur Garden
29 Kosh Kosh Ayosh
30 Pimp My Rice!
31 krispy krePe
32 Siomai my gosh
33 Wholesaler of balut in Sto.Tomas, Batangas: "Starducks"
34 Fast food eatery in Nueva Ecija: "Violybee"
35 Internet cafe in Tondo named "Cafe Pindot"
36 In Manila , there's a laundry named, "Summa Cum Laundry"
37 Petshop in Ortigas: "Pussies and Bitches".
38 A pet shop in Kamuning: "Pakita Mo Pet Mo"
39 Bank in Alabang: "Alabank".
40 Restaurant in Pampanga named, "Mekeni Rogers"
41 A boxing gym in Batangas: "Blow Jab"
42 A tombstone maker in Antipolo: "Lito Lapida"
43 A copy center in Sikatuna Village called "Pakopya ni Edgar"
44 A beerhouse in Cavite City called, "Chickpoint"
45 Internet cafe in Taguig named, "n@kopi@"
46 Name of a kambingan sa Ilokos, "Sa Goat Kita"
47 A salon somewhere in Quiapo, "Curl Up And Dye"
48 A lugawan in Sta. Maria, Bulacan: "Gee Congee"
49 A water refilling station in Dapitan named "Wa-Thirst"
50 A store selling feeds for chickens in Laguna: "Robocock"
51 Shoe repair in Marikina : "Dr. Shoe-Bago"
52 Shoe repair store along Commonwealth, "SHOEPERMAN: we will HEEL you, save your SOLE and even DYE for you".
53 Petshop in QC: "Petness First"
54 Flower shop in Ermita: "Susan's Roses"
55 Taxicab in Manila: "Income Taxi"
56 A 2nd hand watch store in Baguio: "2nd Time Around"
57 A squid stall in a wet market in Navotas: "Pusit to the Limit"
58 A shrimp store also in Navotas: "Hipon Coming Back"
59 A ceiling installer in Imus, Cavite: " Kisame Street "A car repair shop in Binondo: "Bangga ka 'day?"
60 An aquatic pet store in Malolos: "Fish Be With You"
61 A fishball cart near Intramusros, "Poke Poke"
62 A bakery in Cavite City: "Anak Ng Tinapay"
63 Laundry shop in Kawit: "Wash Your Problem"
64 Slogan of Mobile Massage Business: "Asian Mobile Massage Service: Massage only, God is watching"
65 Ice cream vendor in Mabolo, Bacoor: "Dila Lang Ang Katapat"
66 Chicharon store in Bulacan: "Chicha Hut"
67 A fishball cart near UST: "Eat My Balls"
68 A barbershop in Cagayan de Oro: "Pinoy Big Barber"
69 A Resto: "The Last Supper"
70 A goto resto: "Goto Ko Pa!"
71 A peanut vendor's cart with a funny name in Tondo: "Mani ni Papa"
72 A refreshment store: "Pinoy Big Bottle"
73 Party needs business: "Balloon-Balloonan"
74 A Chinese restaurant in Pasig : "Lah-Fang"
75 A store selling fresh chicken, owned by woman named Dina: "Dina Fresh Chicken"
76 Laundry shop in Pasig: “Laba at First Sight”
77 Panaderia: "Trimonay Bakeshop"
78 Salon: "Hair Dot Comb"
79 Laundry Shop im Sto Tomas Batangas: “Laba Daba Doo”
80 Funeral Parlor: "Funeraria Mabuhay"
81 Bakery named: "Our Daily Bread Bakeshop"
82 Funeral parlor: "die now, pay later"
83 Eatery in Surigao: “Eat O’Clock”
84 Another Eatery in Pateros: “Busog Sabay Dighay”
85 Barber Shop “Felix the Cut”
86 Banana Fritters Store “Maruya Carey”
87 A restaurant in Cainta “Caintacky Fried Chicken”
88 Two Butcher Shops called “Meating Place” and “Meatropolis"
89 Pansit ng taga-Malaboni – Pansit ng mga taga boni.
90 Le Cheng Tea House
91 Babalik Karinderia
92 Candies Be Love? (Candy store)
93 Caintacky Fried Chicken (in Cainta, Rizal)
94 Cinna Von - Sinabon?
95 Cleopata's (bakahan and manukan)
96 Fagoofyt
97 Felix the Cut (Barber Shop)
98 Fernando Pe's Box Office Hits (video rental shop in Busuanga,Palawan).
99 Goldirocks (Gravel & Sand Shop)
100 Leon King Video Rental
101 Let's Goat-Together (kambingan cum beer garden)
102 Maid To Order (Maids Placement Agency)
103 MacDonuts (Donut Shop)
104 Meating Place (Meat Shop)
105 Meatropolis (meat shop)
106 Memory Drug – Sa tabi ng Mercury Drug
107 Saudia Hairlines (Beauty Salon)
108 Susan's Roses (flower shop)
109 Sylvestre's Salon

[etsys]

more Ph jokes ..

Sagot - answer