Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[Hurricane88]

*Boats in a storm*

We are all navigating a storm, but not in the same boat

The waves may capsize yours while gently rocking mine

Or vice versa

For some, quarantine is a moment of reflection, of re-connection. Easy, in flip flops, with a glass of whiskey in hand

For others, this is a desperate crisis

Some experience it as loneliness and isolation

Others a time of reconnection with family and friends

Some lament the absence of a brand they love

Others worry about bread for the weekend, or if the noodles will last a few more days

Some work in their "home office"

Others have lost their homes and offices

We criticize those who break the quarantine

But some have no choice, they have to pay the bills.

Others choose to escape. To their country homes or favorite vacation destinations

Some have experienced the virus, some have already lost someone from it, some are not sure their loved ones are going to make it

And yet there are some who don't even believe this is a big deal

Many are getting vaccinated. Some have faith in God and miracles. Others lack faith in science

Some think the storm is passing, others think the worst is yet to come

So, friends, we are not in the same boat. We are in the same storm. How we perceive it depends on the boat we are on

And when the storm passes, each of us will emerge, in our own way. Some stronger, some unscathed, some scarred, some on a stretcher, and some will not make it.

It is very important to see beyond our own experience

See beyond our politics, beyond religion, beyond race, beyond the nose on our faces

Do not underestimate the pain of others even if we do not feel it ourselves

Do not judge the good life of one nor condemn the choices of the other

Let us not judge the one who lacks, nor the one with possessions

We are all simply on different boats

Let’s navigate our routes with respect, empathy and responsibility

--Author unknown
Words for reflection!

[Hurricane88]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

After the death of his wife, an elderly man married a young woman... 😘......

Now he was spending less time with his friends. 😛

His concerned friends enquired if there was any problem? 🤔

“I love to spend time with you friends but, my poor wife gets lonely when I'm away...” 😞

Friends advised him to keep a young tenant at home so that she will be happy in the company of a younger person... 😆

The elderly man promptly acted on their advise and leased a room in house to a young tenant... 😲

The friends were meeting more often. One day the friends jokingly asked, “How is your wife now?” 🤭

"She is not lonely at all, in fact she is happy and *She is pregnant*" 😁

The friends laughed, as they expected this. “How is the tenant?” they asked... 🤪

The man replied very soberly...
*She is also pregnant...* 🤣

Never doubt or underestimate the *Power of Senior Citizen...*

💪🏻😎😎

[Hurricane88]

👍😬😄😂
*TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY, BUT IN A *LAW FIRM,* ARE NOT:

10. Have you looked through her briefs?
9. He is one hard judge.
8. Counselor, let's do it in my chambers.
7. Her attorney withdrew at the last minute.
6. Is it a penal offense?
5. Better leave the handcuffs on.
4. For $400 an hour, she better be good!
3. Can you get him to drop his suit?
2. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.
And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty but in law isn't
1. Think you can get me off?
------------------------
*TOP TEN THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY, BUT IN *GOLF* ⛳, ARE NOT:

10. Damn, my shaft is bent.
9. After 18 holes, I can barely walk.
8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.
7. Look at the size of his putter.
6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more.
5. Mind if I join your 3some?
4. Stand with your back turned and drop it.
3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip!
2. Nice stroke, but your follow-through leaves a lot to be desired.
And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty but in golf isn't
1. Hold up! I need to wash my balls first!
😂😂

Have a good laugh

[Hurricane88]

A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy.

Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed.

Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found three roses carefully placed beside her on the bed.

Outraged, she immediately calls in the doctor.

"I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!"

The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him.

"I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself."

"The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and empathized because she had had the same procedure done some time ago."

"And what about the third rose?" she asked.

"That's from a man upstairs in the burn unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears."🤔🥴🤭🤣

[Hurricane88]

[Hurricane88]

[SBMEDSUP]

Thanks for sharing many jokes.

[dyelook]

laughter bumps...

[BJstreet]

Good morning

[livepool2]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Very smart move!

[amsrsm]

Beer Bottle: “You break me, you get one year of bad luck!”
Mirror: “You kiddin’ me? You break me, then y’all get seven years of bad luck!”
Condom: “Hahaha… (Condom walks off laughing)”

[Hurricane88]

Please don't get offended....if you do, please skip it then...!!
All here are matured and wise ones... thank you!!

Is the below here true??

14 TYPES OF FEMALE ORGASM

1. The Optimist Girl Orgasm:
Oh Yes, Oh Yes, Oh Yes... !!

2. The Pessimist Girl Orgasm:
Oh No, Oh No, Oh No.... !!!

3. The Confused Girl Orgasm:
Oh Yes, Oh No, Oh Yes, Oh No...... !!!

4. The Traveller Girl Orgasm:
Ahh, I'm coming, I'm coming...... !!!

5. The Religious Girl Orgasm:
Oh God, Oh God...... !!!

6. The Greedy Orgasm:
Ahh, More, More, More..... !!

7. The Murderer Orgasm:
Ahh, If you take it out..., I'll kill you...!!!

8. The Scuba Diver Orgasm:
Mmm...Ohhh...Deeper...
Deeper... Go Deeper...... !!!

9. The Rock N Roll Orgasm:
Oh baby oh yeah, oh baby...... !!!

10. The Heavy Metal Orgasm:
Yaa Come on Honey.... Do me hard... Yeahh Baby !!..... come on...... !!!

11. The Mother's Girl Orgasm:
Oh mummy mummy mummyyy...... !!!

12. The North Indian Orgasm:
Nahi... Nahiiii.. Naahiii...... !!!

13. The South Indian Orgasm:
Aaiiyo.., Aaiiyooo Appaa.., Amma..., Aaiyayyooo..!!!

14. The Lorong Haji Taib's Budget Girl's/Retired Mummy Orgasm:
Kasi cepat aaar... Ahh ahh... Ahhh... Ok sudah habiss...

🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂

[Hurricane88]

*When Fauja Singh was 97, he was interviewed by Thai TV personality.*
"Mr. Singh, you are always working, and at your age I think that's remarkable."

Fauja Singh:*_ "I just take good care of myself and enjoy whatever I do."_*

Interviewer "I understand you still do the 'sex' thing."

Fauja Singh: *_"Of course, I still do the sex thing, and I am quite good at it."_*

Interviewer "I have never slept with a grand old Punjabi fellow. Would you like to do it with me?"

So they had some wild sex. When they finished, she said, "I just don't believe it. I have never been so satisfied. You are a remarkable man!"

Fauja Singh: _*"The second time is even better."_*

She: "Can you really do it again at your age?"

Fauja Singh: _*"Just let me sleep for half an hour. You hold my testicles in your left hand and my penis in your right hand and wake me up in 30 mins."_*

When she woke him up, they had great sex again, and this time she was overjoyed.

She said, "Fauja darling, despite your age, the second time was even better than the first one!"

Fauja Singh told her that the third time would be fantastic. _*"You just hold my testicles in your left hand, and my penis in your right hand and wake me up in thirty minutes."_*

She asked, "Does my holding you like that kind of recharge your batteries?"

Fauja Singh replied, *_"No, but the last time I had sex with a Thai woman, she stole my wallet.."😂😂😂😂😂😂_*
[6/13, 4:51 AM] Ang Lee: *Today is World PENIS Day*


Today is World Penis Day.
Do u know that the penis is the greatest breakfast ever? According to doctors it has a mushroom head, a sausage body, two eggs and milk which provides nutrients. Thus making ladies healthy and full for 9 months. Besides it has 3 good manners too.
1. Its very courteous, it stands before it performs
2. It is very emotional, it weeps during performance 3. It is polite, it bows after performing.

Send to ladies 2 laugh and to men 2 make them happy and proud of themselves. ⭕1. Kamasutra says : If you suck one nipple, the woman herself offers the other one. And that was the origin of "buy one get one free"!

⭕2. Did you ever notice: everything on a woman's upper body starts with a "B". Blouse, Bra, Bikini, Boobs & lower body with a "P" Petticoat, panties, pussy... That's origin of "BP"!

⭕3. Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you dress only yourself. Moral: In life no one helps you once you're fucked.

⭕4. Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it.

⭕5. Life is like a dick, sometimes it becomes hard for no reason.

⭕6. Practical thought: A husband is supposed to make his wife's panties wet, not her eyes. A wife is supposed to make her husband's dick hard, not his life..!

⭕When a lady is pregnant,
all her friends touch her stomach and say "Congrats!".
But none of them come and touch the man's Penis and say "Well done!".
Moral: Hard work is never appreciated: Only results matter.

✅Now that I've educated you, share this fun. 🙏😃

Happy penis day

[Hurricane88]

A farmer decided that he wanted to go to town and see a movie. As he approached, the ticket agent asked, “Sir, what’s that on your shoulder?”

The old farmer said, “That’s my pet rooster Chuck. Wherever I go, Chuck goes.”

“I’m sorry, sir,” said the ticket agent. “We can’t allow animals in the theater.”

The old farmer went around the corner and stuffed Chuck down his overalls. Then he returned to the booth, bought a ticket, and entered the theater.
He sat down next to two old widows named Mildred and Marge.

The movie started and the rooster began to squirm. The old farmer unbuttoned his fly so Chuck could stick his head out and watch the movie.

“Marge,” whispered Mildred.

“What?” said Marge.

“I think the guy next to me is a pervert.”

“What makes you think so?” asked Marge.

“He undid his pants and he has his thing out,” whispered Mildred.

“Eh, don’t worry about it,” said Marge. “At our age we’ve seen ’em all.”

“I thought so too,” said Mildred, “but this one’s eatin’ my popcorn!”

[Bitecoin]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Haha please stop blaming god