Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread] - Page 893

SkyIsMighty · #**13381** 13-12-2021, 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

No Shit!

Two guys are in a locker room when one guy notices the other guy has a cork in his ass.

He says, "How'd you get a cork in your ass?"

The other guy says, "I was walking along the beach and I tripped over a lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a red man in a turban came oozing out. He said, 'I am Tonto, Indian Genie. I can grant you one wish."

And I said, "No shit."

Excellent jokes.

ah rat · #**13382** 13-12-2021, 05:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dyelook

McD happy meal...

Happy Meal bump

Ulvaeus · #**13383** 13-12-2021, 10:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

No Shit!

Two guys are in a locker room when one guy notices the other guy has a cork in his ass.

He says, "How'd you get a cork in your ass?"

The other guy says, "I was walking along the beach and I tripped over a lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a red man in a turban came oozing out. He said, 'I am Tonto, Indian Genie. I can grant you one wish."

And I said, "No shit."

Luckily he said "No shit" instead of "Fuck my ass"

SBMEDSUP · #**13384** 14-12-2021, 05:23 AM

hope more jokes pls.

dyelook · #**13385** 14-12-2021, 06:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ah rat

Happy Meal bump

happy laughter bumps...

Masterl23 · #**13386** 15-12-2021, 10:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

No Shit!

Two guys are in a locker room when one guy notices the other guy has a cork in his ass.

He says, "How'd you get a cork in your ass?"

The other guy says, "I was walking along the beach and I tripped over a lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a red man in a turban came oozing out. He said, 'I am Tonto, Indian Genie. I can grant you one wish."

And I said, "No shit."

This is funny, thanks for sharing.

Hurricane88 · #**13387** 16-12-2021, 03:22 PM

🏡 Senior Citizens Home 🏡

Paddy is 85 and lives in a Senior Citizens Home.

Every night after dinner he goes to a secluded garden behind the home to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life.

One evening, Mary, age 82, wanders into the garden.

They begin to chat and before they know it, several hours have passed.

After a short lull in their conversation, Paddy turns to Mary and asks, "Do you know what I miss most of all?"

She asks, "What?''

"Sex." he replies.

Mary exclaims, "Why you old toot. You couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!"

"I know," says Paddy, "but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it for a while."

"Well, I can oblige," says Mary, who unzips his trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it.

Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mary would hold Paddy's thingie.

Then one night Paddy didn't show up at their usual meeting place.

Alarmed, Mary decided to find him and make sure he was O.K.

She walked around the Senior Citizen Home where she found him sitting by the pool with Ethel, another female resident, who was holding Paddy's's little pal!

Furious, Mary yelled, "You two-timing son-of-a-gun!! What does Ethel have that I don't have?"

Old Paddy smiled happily and replied, "Parkinson's!"

😎

Hurricane88 · #**13388** 16-12-2021, 03:26 PM

diputs1269 · #**13389** 17-12-2021, 06:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

OMG, and also come with 32 mutations!

oxytocen · #**13390** 18-12-2021, 12:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

And there are those who believe in 4G too

SkyIsMighty · #**13391** 18-12-2021, 04:08 AM

Hope can read more jokes.

SkullsAndBones · #**13392** 18-12-2021, 08:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SkyIsMighty

Hope can read more jokes.

Same here bro

ArturoBraga · #**13393** 18-12-2021, 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oxytocen

And there are those who believe in 4G too

Indeed boss

MaiSuSeh · #**13394** 20-12-2021, 09:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

I'd be looking forward to it too

Hurricane88 · #**13395** 21-12-2021, 12:13 PM

How to choose a bride, Malaysian style.....

A Mother was very concerned that her middle-aged son had not shown the slightest indication of getting married. So one day she called him over to her house.

The Son came home from work, grudgingly. Upon arriving, he found that his mother had gathered a few beautiful ladies at the house for him to choose as his future bride.

The FIRST one was a well-endowed Telephonist-cum-Receptionist. He immediately commented: 'Aiyaa..... Mother, they always say..... PLEASE HOLD ON, HOLD ON...........'

The SECOND nominee was a leggy secretary. She was also rejected. Reason being: 'Aiyaa.... Mother, this one aaa..., Secretary always fond of saying 'PLEASE SLOW DOWN, SLOW DOWN........'

By this time, the mother was nearing frustration. She called in a sweet but plain-looking teacher. The Son suddenly agreed!!

The Mother was surprised and asked: 'Why this one? I thought the earlier two were a lot better.
He replied: 'Teacher aaa..... Teacher very good, very patient, always say: PLEASE REPEAT,DO IT AGAIN, I want it done 10 times.... SOME MORE, SOME MORE.....!'

Her youngest son (10 years old), was listening quietly all this while at the other end of the room. Suddenly, he shouted: 'Hey Brother.... I think the lady mini bus Conductor much better laah... she always says: 'NAIK CEPAT, NAIK CEPAT..... MASUK, MASUK...... MASUK LAGI, DALAM LAGI..... DALAM LAGI LAAAAH, MASUK BELAKANG..... BELAKANG LAGI, BELAKANG BANYAK KOSONG.....'

The mother fainted....