200% agree with bro PTR!
Years back, I brought one to the lobby of my apartment and guess what...? I was like sneaking back to my place for a week when we broke up cos she was heartbroken and would be waiting nearby to try to patch back.
I was lucky already, things can become unpredictably ugly if not handled properly.
Thanks Bro ksst for sharing his negative experience. Please allow me to tell you my share of story. When I was working in Shanghai, I was staying in a Service Apartment all the while, either long or short stay. I brought a girl from Harbin to stay with me. She was good, she did my laundry, cooked my meals, etc.... I though I was in heaven, until one day she showed her true colour, and it was hell of an effort to shake her off. In addition, I could not stay in the same place again, althought I loved the place.
Unless you love her AND have the intention to take her as your legal wife, do not bring the girl back to stay with you when you are stay in a permanent place.
I hope the above experience would help to dissuade the bro who has shown the intention to do so.
Hahaha, indeed it is. It is tiring to do 异地恋. And she keep thinking of weird things, left and right. Even when i never f-around, she still thinks I am f-ing around.
So, in the end, it becomes too tiring and I say to her, cannot lah. Even though same country, different cities would mean big issues. Too much reporting every night expected and she's only gf status.... Scary to think what happens if she is higher than GF status.
200% agree with bro PTR!
I was like sneaking back to my place for a week when we broke up cos she was heartbroken and would be waiting nearby to try to patch back.
only 1 week? then not so bad lah. if 2-3 months, then it will be extremely jiat-lat.
Hahaha, indeed it is. It is tiring to do 异地恋. And she keep thinking of weird things, left and right. Even when i never f-around, she still thinks I am f-ing around.
So, in the end, it becomes too tiring and I say to her, cannot lah. Even though same country, different cities would mean big issues. Too much reporting every night expected and she's only gf status.... Scary to think what happens if she is higher than GF status.
Well, if things don't turn out favourable, I guess both should just take the pain, let go and move on, good for both. Women are more sensitive to such matters, and they do tend to think negatively whenever u are not by their side. Its important that the men must gave in whatever ways, some sense of security to the women to hold on to.
Anyway, when u are back in SHA, and also when I am back (I am now in SGP doing some Corporate Reporting), lets catch up over a kopi session
Take Care Bro!
__________________
The Day we are born, we start to die. Life is filled with uncertainties, please live life to the fullest with no regrets.
Hi, saw your comments on Zhongya mercure....u mean u didnt know theres a KTV that look like a palace on the other side of the lift? I forgot the name though....i only found out on the second day of my stay there when i saw countless mm passed thru the hotel and that triggered my curiosity.
that's right. used to be called 天上人间(II) but due to "IP infringement" issues, they changed it to 中亚会所。
She will only stay only on-job basis and not permanent before she hits the route back to SGP for a longer tour of duty...
bro, you should listen to the advice of our MOST esteemed PTR, plus a couple of other good-willed bros. it doesn't matter if she is going to stay temp, semi-permanent, quarterly permanent, 56.9% permanently, it is a dangerous move to do that.
anything can happen during the stay to make her stay logner in your apt than expected. here's a few reasons i think you should consider.
1. as stated above, no matter how sure you are she's going to move out after a while, shit can happen and she ends up staying permanently.
2. you also run into issues like not bring able to bring other gfs back (though generally not advisable to bring) since her stuff will be all around your house.
3. your personal belongings are all in that apt. remember, personal belongings don't just include cash, or cashable stuff, it also includes info, etc.
4. you no longer can control your timing.
it's hard to explain some things to you if the 2nd head is thinking for you right now, BUT bear in mind this, nothing comes free. i share with you one advice, from what i see so many years in SHA or SGP, sporean guys got one big weakness - we get "moved" easily.
Hahaha, indeed it is. It is tiring to do 异地恋. And she keep thinking of weird things, left and right. Even when i never f-around, she still thinks I am f-ing around.
So, in the end, it becomes too tiring and I say to her, cannot lah. Even though same country, different cities would mean big issues. Too much reporting every night expected and she's only gf status.... Scary to think what happens if she is higher than GF status.
bro, welcome to China. haha. that night at 上海之夜 when you mentioned to me you are considering marriage, i seriously think you're outta your mind. haha.
most sporeans are not ready to take on chinese wives. i myself have gone a long way; i won't say i am lucky and a good manager in this area, but to be frank, i have always prepared at least 2 backup plans. to ensure a good relationship or marriage life, you have to resort to unorthodox methods (non spore LKY compliant) to make the relationship work. it sounds funny but it works, so far...
with regards to your same country, different cities sentence, i got this to say: i always think China is a United Nation of Asia. shanghai is a "country", beijing is a "country", suzhou is a "country", etc...though they are all chinese, they somewhat think differently. AND remember this, in China, you, me, that British or American down the road are all laowai. remember this when you're doing business especially, this is the only good advice i can give you. my friend, e***** (you know who) took 3 years and 4 bad incidents to fully understand this.
One week of hide-and-seek plus change of numbers and other evasive measures... not fun lah.
Didn't know you were out of town, tried to ping you last trip I was in SH. Anyway, I'll be back to SH on 6 July. Catchup if you are free.
anyway, since the topic of mobile number was touched on, i have a little advice for some bros here.
1. it is advisable to get a local chinese phone with a few spare numbers, if you are always into this gf biz OR you use the number to call/sms local OKT, girls, mms, FL outcall, FL incall, etc. why?
a. in case of small trouble, ditch the number.
b. in case of big trouble, ditch both the phone and number. this one sounds strange right? well, that's cos you guys haven't got into cases where a okt is caught and all the numbers and smses are being traced. china is advancing every day, it doesn't mean what don't happen to you 5 years ago won't happen now, or should i say, we have been lucky all this while?
why a local phone? cos every phone has an imei no. which can be traced to its origin, SS should know this.
2. avoid giving msn id if possible. use a separate QQ for this. in case of trouble, follow the same procedure as Advice 1.
3. for those who has apts (whether rented or bought) here, be careful on one thing - minimise the number of times you use your passport to book room. for eg, if you stay in sha, minimise the number of times you book room in sha. those GA knows what you're up to if you have an apt and still book a room. PLUS, all your records go to a db which they can check up anytime.
just a few points to share hor, please don't flame me. i mean well. haha.
anyway, since the topic of mobile number was touched on, i have a little advice for some bros here.
1. it is advisable to get a local chinese phone with a few spare numbers, if you are always into this gf biz OR you use the number to call/sms local OKT, girls, mms, FL outcall, FL incall, etc. why?
a. in case of small trouble, ditch the number.
b. in case of big trouble, ditch both the phone and number. this one sounds strange right? well, that's cos you guys haven't got into cases where a okt is caught and all the numbers and smses are being traced. china is advancing every day, it doesn't mean what don't happen to you 5 years ago won't happen now, or should i say, we have been lucky all this while?
why a local phone? cos every phone has an imei no. which can be traced to its origin, SS should know this.
2. avoid giving msn id if possible. use a separate QQ for this. in case of trouble, follow the same procedure as Advice 1.
3. for those who has apts (whether rented or bought) here, be careful on one thing - minimise the number of times you use your passport to book room. for eg, if you stay in sha, minimise the number of times you book room in sha. those GA knows what you're up to if you have an apt and still book a room. PLUS, all your records go to a db which they can check up anytime.
just a few points to share hor, please don't flame me. i mean well. haha.
cheers.
Bro holein1,
Well said, good advice indeed from which we can learn to be more careful.
I shall in Shangai in a couple of months time. I shall let you know so we can meet. I look forward to meeting you and other esteemed brothers.