Uneasy situation

[Stud00]

Hey Bros and Sis,

It's just one of those moments when i am caught in a situation and it doesn't seem convenient to share this with anyone that you know, for fear on how they look at you. I am sure that you guys know what i mean.

So, here i am, and i am sharing this in here in hope of asking you guys for your advice.. Constructive advice i hope, i can do without any flaming or any dumbass comments.. Thank you very much.

I am 35 this year and i am dating this gal thats 25, that's 10 years age gap. I feel very comfortable with her, but recently, i found out something, that in the past, she has been very intimate with her male cousin. She shared this with me. The male cousin has a gf too, and in my opinion, he's just making use of her. My gf told me that ever since we got attached, she has stopped all these intimate acts with her cousin. But time n time again, she would receive smses from this cousin, asking if he can stay over and stuff.. and i can see that my gf isn't very firm in turning him down.

There are times when i asked her, if she wants me to talk to her cousin.. and if i do that, it's not going to be too nice. I love her very much, but somehow or another, i keep thinking that there's something going on behind my back. I think you guys know what i mean. I just don't wish to be caught in a situation when i realised that her cousin has been screwing my gf behind scenes. God help him if i ever find out.

What would you guys do?

[homie]

bro Stud00, since u said ur gf has been very intimate with her male cousin den i suggest u go talk to her cousin like a real man (if u know wad i mean).. It's better dis way rather den u keep on thinking what's going on.. Better do this early before things end up worst..

[GDX11]

Originally Posted by homie

bro Stud00, since u said ur gf has been very intimate with her male cousin den i suggest u go talk to her cousin like a real man (if u know wad i mean).. It's better dis way rather den u keep on thinking what's going on.. Better do this early before things end up worst..

Your gf is 25 and should be able to stand up for herself. If need be, talk to the cousin. But that should be done only with consensus from your gf, at least that's what I think.

However, if you wanna be a bitch, share these tales with your gf's aunt, who's that man's mother. He will probably shun her for the rest of her life and Chinese New Year union would be his nightmare from then. alright I'm kidding about this para.

[joew2005]

if it's yours,it's yours.
if it's not yours,it's not yours.

[Greendevil]

Bro it natural for anyone to feel uneasy if knowing he/her partner is doing something behind the back esp in yr case is someone from the family, and it bond to meet each other.

It is clear that both yr gf and her cousin is attached with their own partner, and you have doubts that they are still fooling around. Well there no foolproof way to prove anything unless u goin to mount a video cam in her bedroom or become a fly and hid in her ear like the monkey god, my suggestion is hv some faith in yr gf, cos no point making everyone unhappy and sour the relationship.

However, something has to be clear with yr gf. Suggest you lay your cards clearly to her i.e. if there is something still ongoing between them, it better stop immediate.And if you found out, let her know what are the action you will do, but my advice is don do anything illegal like beating him up or watsoever or exposing them to their parent, taking vengenceful act if it is the latter case cos no point from friends become enemy. It always best to walk out from such relation. In this way, you kept yr gentleman, and have a the higher moral ground. Also, the guilt will be in her thus it always give u the advantage in the future when meet up. You never know when u need a help from a friend.

[Xgenre]

Ditch this girl. There are other trees in the forest. I think it's very difficult to fully convince yourself she's not sleeping with her cousin behind your back. Will you want this question to be hanging over your head forever?

It's immoral to sleep with one's cousin. If she can sleep with her cousin, she can give you more cause for concern in future. She's 25 and not young. An adult. I will move on if I were you. Some things you just can't give a 2nd chance for...

[hoA123]

OT: ermm...something like that?
http://sbf.today/showthread.php?t=223591

on a serious note:
the issue is not her imho.
it's whether you can shake off that behind-the-back feel.
like you said, your gf is old enough to think for herself.

if i were in a similar situation;
i would tell my gf the concern and discomfort, and tell her that i would not do anything.
i would not force her to confront that cousin or such.
she is an adult and should be able to think for herself.
she should know how i would be feeling right now.

exercise silence here and see what her response is;
should i ever find out that the cousin stayed over a single time.
i would break up with her.
no confrontation needed for someone who cannot think and weigh out situations.

[hamsapkwai]

her cousin will always be like a ghost in your relationship with her down the road.

being her cousin there`s no way she can lose him in her life

can u accept that?

[alan0338]

no 2nd words, just dump ur GF since u cant bring urself to trust her 100% after knowing she had intimate acts with her cousin
tis type of r/s will only bring u more headache and worries down the road, unless u are prepared to face the fact tat even after she is with u, she is still with her cousin doing intimate acts

[woshixiong]

Talk to him man to man. ask him to stop

or even better ask for his gf contacts. naaaaaaa just kidding a

[AmericanExpress]

Maybe its also a case of being too paranoid? they are cousins after all and she may feel that she wants that 'space'. If u tell ur girlfriend - it may seem u r insecure. if u tell her cousin - it may also offend ur girlfriend. sit on the fence and whallop the bugger when u find out he IS indeed doing the dirty deed

[Stud00]

dear bros,
thanks for all the inputs.
maybe like what she said, she has stopped all these. and i am just being pananoid. anyway, i think i would just be careful.
If i ever find out that he's still being intimate with her behind my back. I would make sure he pays.
Darn sian la...

[ah rat]

Originally Posted by Stud00

dear bros,
thanks for all the inputs.
maybe like what she said, she has stopped all these. and i am just being pananoid. anyway, i think i would just be careful.
If i ever find out that he's still being intimate with her behind my back. I would make sure he pays.
Darn sian la...

Ask yourself whether u can forget/forgive what yours GF do in the past.
Since she told u about intimate with her cousin.In fact she can keep her mouth shut,but she choose to tell u.So she must be serious in this relationship with u. No Sian Good Luck To U

[bigbirdbird]

Originally Posted by ah rat

Ask yourself whether u can forget/forgive what yours GF do in the past.

Uncle niao chi giving advice

[ah rat]

Big bird,Why my nick name still not in yours list