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Matters of the Heart. Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help.

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  #1  
Old 10-03-2015, 02:45 PM
zan888 zan888 is offline
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Is there such a thing like Fate or Destiny in love?

Has anybody experience fate or destiny in love before? For instance, too much coincidence brings both parties together. Maybe it a romantic notion but seems like many things which happen in life, we don't really have control over it?

Who we meet, who we fall in love with , settle down with is somewhat pre-destined? A small thing could have changed and you wont have met the person and our lives would have been so different?

Or no matter how much try to breakup with someone, make problems for them, make them angry etc still wont breakup?

It may not mean it is a forever thing( nothing is forever) but just need to go through this path. Any experiences to share?
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Old 10-03-2015, 03:23 PM
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Re: Is there such a thing like Fate or Destiny in love?

Got ... I experience it with my ex .... I was with her for like six months and she only brought me to her work place once ... Me being the Road blind dude did not know how to go there at all ... Don't even remember the road name since all road looks the same to me ... We broke up after I have to leave the country for studies...

After two years I came back home, decided to look her up. But realised that I no longer have her number. Yet somehow I manage to find my way to her workplace, not even sure how I did that till today .... Considering that I am road blind ... I definitely believes 110% that fate wanted us to be together....
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Old 10-03-2015, 03:31 PM
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Re: Is there such a thing like Fate or Destiny in love?

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Originally Posted by zan888 View Post
Has anybody experience fate or destiny in love before?
No there is no such thing as fate or destiny in any aspect of our lives.
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Old 10-03-2015, 03:55 PM
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Re: Is there such a thing like Fate or Destiny in love?

We, are the creators of our own destiny.

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Originally Posted by zan888 View Post
Has anybody experience fate or destiny in love before? For instance, too much coincidence brings both parties together. Maybe it a romantic notion but seems like many things which happen in life, we don't really have control over it?
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  #5  
Old 10-03-2015, 04:06 PM
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Re: Is there such a thing like Fate or Destiny in love?

Life is a destiny...

love is fated...whether it last another story...
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  #6  
Old 10-03-2015, 04:49 PM
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Re: Is there such a thing like Fate or Destiny in love?

Quote:
Originally Posted by maxsee View Post
Got ... I experience it with my ex .... I was with her for like six months and she only brought me to her work place once ... Me being the Road blind dude did not know how to go there at all ... Don't even remember the road name since all road looks the same to me ... We broke up after I have to leave the country for studies...

After two years I came back home, decided to look her up. But realised that I no longer have her number. Yet somehow I manage to find my way to her workplace, not even sure how I did that till today .... Considering that I am road blind ... I definitely believes 110% that fate wanted us to be together....
u say fate wanted u and her to be together, BUT then, why is she your ex??

anyway, i had experienced it once. but let it slip thru my grip. i was in NP in the 90s. well, i kinda like a girl from another field, building and civil services while i was in another. we never talked before, but we are kinda attracted to each other. the feeling i am sure u all knew and experienced it before.

so, after our graduation, i am going to ns. but i wanted to know her, but non of my friends knew any one from her class. therefore no linkage. and so, i thought, the link was dead.

just before my ns, my friends and i went to pulau ubin for a 3D2N camping trip. we went to a isolated jetty to set up camp, and on the second day, the girl's classmates also came on this jetty and camp! i mean, how coincidence can it be?!

but, as i said, i let it slip thru my grip as i never asked her classmates for her number. just by recalling this event makes it so bittersweet..
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Old 10-03-2015, 05:15 PM
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Re: Is there such a thing like Fate or Destiny in love?

people come n go in our lives.some meant to be will stay v long. some not meant to be no matter how u hold it, it will slip away.
i go with the flow of life, if they reappear we reconnect back if we dont then thry become part of old memories.
marriage n kids i thot its fated. some people just cannot find someone to settle down no matter how much they wanted.
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Old 11-03-2015, 08:35 AM
larue larue is offline
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Re: Is there such a thing like Fate or Destiny in love?

Belief in fate/destiny is nothing more than a faulty thought process. Like the average investor who thinks he has made money on the stockmarket.

Selective piecemeal evidence becomes 'proof'.
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Old 11-03-2015, 09:41 AM
curious76 curious76 is offline
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Re: Is there such a thing like Fate or Destiny in love?

hmm.. then winning a lottery is it fate?
  #10  
Old 19-03-2015, 12:12 AM
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Re: Is there such a thing like Fate or Destiny in love?

I guess there is. Imagine if there are no fate and destination, it will chaotic. For eg, a durian tree will be fated to bear durian, just as an orange tree will bear oranges. If these trees have no fate n destination, they will bear any fruit as they like. So isn't it weird if a durian tree bear oranges? But that doesn't mean it is not possible. Nowadays many ppl marry foreigners, some married the blacks also. If it were a century ago without commercial airplane n only ship, marrying a foreigner is rare. So, to say it is by determine or free will, i would say it is more on opportunities. Opportunities is tied to fate n the free will for two entities to come together, just like winning a lottery isn‘t just luck.
  #11  
Old 19-03-2015, 04:35 AM
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Re: Is there such a thing like Fate or Destiny in love?

Quote:
Originally Posted by sammyboyfor View Post
No there is no such thing as fate or destiny in any aspect of our lives.
I tend to agree with you boss
  #12  
Old 19-03-2015, 03:41 PM
cmelater cmelater is offline
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Re: Is there such a thing like Fate or Destiny in love?

Fate may bring two persons together, but we never know someone until things go wrong. When things are right, its always easy to conclude that this must be "happily ever after" state.

Then, the truth is, what if things go wrong and that the person we think we know is not really what we understand and appreciate in the first place. In fact, many a time how deep we know a person is barely enough for anyone to make a conclusion whether he or she is the one. Even a relationship for 10 years may not give enough depth in the understanding of the other person. There are many variables and truly the eventual (or may be not) decision to marry likely becomes a somewhat "ill informed" one (pardon me n no offense to anyone here).

When people also change over time, it is all the more difficult. New expectations start forming up gradually. Very often, these expectations are unspoken of and assumed to be applicable. Imagine having to kick a ball into a goal post which is always moving sideways and front/ back and sometimes.... the goal post may shrink or expand. Terrible? That's what many of us (whether male or female) are going through. We think that the relationship would work at the inception, but fail to realise the vast (not just wide) varieties of variables acting against our favour.

If I can use this analogy, the relationship between people is like a process of approximation. So long as the approximation process is roughly right, then all things remain "viable" until that time when the approximation fails.

Like my partner and I got together because of fate. Heart chose to stay with her. As time went by, the deeper we fell together.... the more we no longer understand each other. Ironic? Somehow, the person that matters a lot (at that time) is more like a stranger, as I start to know her.

Then, I learnt this important lesson that we all have to learn how to communicate with each other and understand each other deeply and not just anyhow. That really is the toughest part in maintaining a relationship. As I grew and learn, its difficult to maintain also due to the influences from her extended families and friends. While marriage is really between 2 persons, the influences from surrounding people are very significant too.

A MIL once told the young husband "Now that you are married with my daughter, two of you can take care of my xxxxx-so-and-so". Wife told husband that he has no need to be concerned over it. But, the point is, the opinions and expectations of "stakeholders" also weigh in, after the marriage and that the man is truly finished. How do a marriage remain tenable for long? I thought for a long while... Never really understood how.

Perhaps, an appropriate advice. Love him or her with both eyes shut, if you think that's the one. If that's not the one for you, keep both eyes open and walk out.
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Last edited by cmelater; 19-03-2015 at 03:55 PM.
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Old 20-03-2015, 08:52 AM
Wintermelontea Wintermelontea is offline
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Re: Is there such a thing like Fate or Destiny in love?

Quote:
Originally Posted by zan888 View Post
Has anybody experience fate or destiny in love before? For instance, too much coincidence brings both parties together. Maybe it a romantic notion but seems like many things which happen in life, we don't really have control over it?

Nope. I think the more appropriate word maybe "coincidence?"

Who we meet, who we fall in love with , settle down with is somewhat pre-destined? A small thing could have changed and you wont have met the person and our lives would have been so different?

Pre-destined? Who? By God? Don't we all have a choice in life? It is what we choose that leads us to where we ultimately land on. Even if we meet a person, if we do not choose to commit, what will that lead us to? Agree?

Or no matter how much try to breakup with someone, make problems for them, make them angry etc still wont breakup?

也 需 要 寞 气 才 能 挣 吵

It may not mean it is a forever thing( nothing is forever) but just need to go through this path. Any experiences to share?

My replies in blue bro...
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Old 21-03-2015, 12:44 AM
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Re: Is there such a thing like Fate or Destiny in love?

Our lives are interlinked from the previous lives and what we do in this life will affect our next lives..... I believe in fate and karma.
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Old 21-03-2015, 01:36 AM
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Re: Is there such a thing like Fate or Destiny in love?

I deeply believe in fate n destiny. But I guess everyone got different opinions due to different religion and experience.
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