All you need to know about SEX -Your Sex Dictionary

[Big Sexy]

Bumps/lumps on penis
http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/0905.html

(1) Dear Alice,

I have some small bumps near the base end of my penis and on my scrotum. The bumps do not look like herpes or genital warts. They look almost like goosebumps, but they are always there. I am still a virgin so I don't see how I could have an STD.

I would be thankful for any help or advice you can offer.

(2)
Dear Alice,

After examining my penis in the shower, I realized that I have small bumps (all the same size) on the bottom of my penis shaft. I am only 14 and am going thru puberty, so I want to know if the pubic hair grows onto the penis, or just stays on the bottom (mine are only on the bottom). I have never had sex so I know it cannot be an STD.

(3)
Dear Alice,

I am a 20-year-old male with a question. Since I can remember, I've had many bumps (small lumps under the skin) covering the underside shaft of my penis, as well as my scrotum. They are very similar to the bumps I've noticed on girls' nipples. When I went to the "Doc," I was told they were normal and fine. My question to you is: Exactly how "normal" are these bumps and how common? Do all males have them?



Dear Readers,

Paying careful attention to your penis is a great habit to form, especially now, before you have had much (if any) exposure to sexually transmitted infections (STIs). If you know what is normal for your penis, you'll be more likely to notice potentially problematic developments. Fortunately what the three of you describe seem to fall into the 'non-problematic' camp. Medical providers stress that unusual bumps (in repose or otherwise) are usually caused by trauma (injury), are normal, or are growths, in that order.

It is most likely that the bumps all three of you are describing are sebaceous glands of hair follicles on the scrotum and lower penile shaft. They are normal and harmless. You'll most likely see hair growing from them (if not now, then soon!). And yes, hair can grow on the shaft of the penis, though most often just near the base.

Keep in mind, too, that penile skin is not much like other skin. It is often bumpy, lumpy, and uneven, especially on the shaft. A deflated penis can look especially bumpy, but will look less so when filled and expanded. If bumps are numerous, tiny, and don't change over time, they probably represent your normal penile skin landscape.

However, bumps or lumps that are few in number, that seem to have a timely association with sexual activity, or that grow in size may represent genital warts (condyloma), usually caused by a strain of human papillomavirus (HPV). These warts need medical attention, biopsy, or removal. One nifty thing a medical provider, or you, may do is to apply some diluted, mild vinegar solution to the warty tissue of your penis to "bring out" or accentuate the warts.

The most common cause to changes in genital skin is injury. Let's face it, a penis can take a beating, and it is neither surprising nor unusual for bruises, nicks, bites, abrasions, or bumps to appear after close or vigorous contacts of all kinds. The head and shaft often show the effects of such a workout, and rest, soap and water, and occasionally mild antibacterial ointment are reasonable treatments. Most minor damage goes away quickly, and lubrication by itself or with a condom will help prevent future skin irritation or damage from overly enthusiastic masturbation or sex.

[Big Sexy]

Let's go condom shopping! Brands, sizes, textures — what to buy?
http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/2047.html

Dear Alice,

I've never bought condoms before. I'm a smart shopper — I look at things like quality and value when I buy anything — and I want to do the same with my condom purchases. But I don't know what to look for!!! And I'm not sure I'm ballsy enough to walk up to the pharmacist and ask, "Now, tell me, if your daughter were having sex, which brand of condom would you want her to use with her boyfriend?"

I want a really effective condom, that doesn't, like, smell weird or fit poorly or anything. And I don't want to whip it out and have my man laughing at it.

Who do I ask for advice on this??? Where do I go?



Dear Reader,

Kudos to you for applying your smart shopper standards to your future condom purchases. So many different brands of condoms are available on the market that making a decision about which type to purchase can be overwhelming.

Before we get into the nitty gritty details of condom selection, it's important that you know in the United States, latex condom manufacturers must follow FDA standards, meaning that every condom is checked for defects using electronic testing before it is packaged. Additionally, the FDA checks samples from every batch by performing water-leak or airburst tests. (Ironically, condoms are not tested the way they are used, i.e., there are no friction tests!) So, no matter which brand or type of condoms you settle on, you can be confident the condoms will be effective if you use them correctly and consistently.

When making male condom selections, you will need to consider the types of material, lubrication, size, texture, andnovelty (flavors, etc.) that work best for you and your partner. Here is a rundown on all your choices:

Material

Latex: The majority of condoms manufactured and used in the U.S. are made of latex (a substance tapped from rubber trees). This option has the widest selection of brands and types, is the least expensive, and is the most well-researched and regulated type of condom. Remember that latex condoms can only be used with water- or silicone-based lubricants (no oil, petroleum jelly, or lotion, please!). Some people are allergic to latex and may consider using polyurethane condoms instead.

Polyurethane: Made from a synthetic material similar to plastic, polyurethane male and female condoms are recommended for people who are allergic or sensitive to latex. Clear in color, not as elastic as latex (kind of like a thin sandwich bag), and wider than the average sized condom, they can also be used with water- or silicone-based lubricants. Additionally, the material conducts heat well, creating more sensation during sex. Research shows that polyurethane male condoms are effective in pregnancy and STI prevention — nearly as effective as latex condoms. The Female Condom is made from polyurethane as well, and is also available where condoms are sold.

Lambskin: Condoms made of lambskin (the intestine of a lamb) are the oldest type of condoms. These condoms, or "skins," are effective in preventing pregnancy, but NOT in preventing STIs or HIV transmission. Lambskin condoms may offer a more natural feel and can be used with both water-based and oil-based lube (unlike latex), but are quite expensive, and again, do not offer protection against infections.

Lubrication

Non-lubricated: These condoms are most useful for oral sex and for people with allergies or sensitivities to lubricants.

Lubricated: Condoms with a water-based or silicone-based lubricant coating can ease penetration and minimize friction and the risk of breakage. To add your own water- or silicone-based lubricant, apply a couple of drops to the inside of the condom before it is rolled onto the penis, and then add more to the outside of the condom.

Spermicidally lubricated: Originally, Non-oxynol-9 (N-9) was thought to reduce sperm mobility and thus prevent pregnancy. However, research shows there's not actually enough N-9 on the condom to prevent pregnancy. Recent research has also found that N-9 can cause irritation and small sores in some people, and therefore may actually facilitate HIV transmission. The bottom line? You're better off avoiding condoms with N-9.

Size

Most condoms are manufactured as one-size-fits-all. The standard sizes and the tightness of the elastic rings, however, vary by manufacturer. Condoms generally fit men whose erect penis is average sized — anywhere from four to seven inches when erect. Some condoms are "snugger fit," while others are "larger sized." It makes sense to purchase a variety to see what is appealing and fits. A snug yet comfortable fit decreases the chances that a condom will slip off during intercourse.

Texture

When reading condom packaging, brands list descriptive terms, such as "ultra thin," "sensitive," "high sensation," or "extra strength." Some people prefer thinner condoms that allow for more sensation. Others prefer thicker condoms to feel more secure (although studies have shown that "ultrathin" condoms are just as effective as regular condoms). Other choices include "ribbed" or "studded" condoms, which are designed to give one or both partners' increased pleasure. The use of these different types of textures is a matter of personal preference; there have not been studies that rate the relative effectiveness. All condoms that are intended for intercourse, however, are FDA-approved and meet the agency's standards of effectiveness.

Novelty

Flavored condoms (coated with lubes that contain sugar, corn syrup, or other fructoses) can alter the vagina's pH, setting the stage for yeast or bacterial infection. These condoms are not recommended for vaginal or anal sex, but are okay for oral sex on men. Other "novelty" condoms, including most glow-in-the-dark, can make great gag gifts, but are not intended for use with any kind of intercourse. Unless they are labeled as FDA approved (which some are, so read carefully), these condoms do not meet the FDA standards for protection against pregnancy and STIs.

Now that you know what to look for when purchasing condoms, it's time to make your selection. Before buying "rubbers," you may want to talk with your partner about condom options, or even share the experience of selecting condoms together. Purchases can be made in a store or online. Some people are brand loyal, while others sample different brands to find their favorite. Test-driving different brands with your partner can be fun. If, however, you open a condom that looks, smells, or fits funny, throw it out and move on to the next. And be sure to take note of those expiration dates once you've made your choice(s) and before you stock up. Finally, remember that a condom is not effective unless it is on the penis before the penis enters the vagina or anus.
Best of luck in making your selections!

[Big Sexy]

Connection between ejaculation frequency and prostate health
http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/4961.html

Alice,

I have been coming across articles on the connection between masturbation, ejaculation, and overall health. I was very surprised about this article from the Cancer Council Victoria in Australia . It was a study that confirmed that ejaculation frequency is important for a healthy prostate. The protective effect was most significant in men in their twenties who ejaculated on average 7 or more times per week. It compared this against same-age men who ejaculated less than 3 times per week. I made a New Year's resolution to pay attention to my body and to cum at least once a day. I feel much better for it and my penis strength and sexual urge has increased immensely. I feel balanced. After a year, I can't imagine going back to my old repressed frequency and probably couldn?t keep from cumming for a whole day if I tried now. Why aren?t people made aware of this need? After getting used to daily +, I often have the urge to do it even more, but hold back. Are there any physical problems with over ejaculating?



Dear Trevor,

What a fabulous New Year’s resolution to pay attention to your body! Your efforts are worth applauding, as being in tune with yourself and your new masturbation schedule seems to have paid off, as you note that you feel “balanced” and “much better for it.” Happily, no physical problems are associated with over-ejaculating, so don’t worry about giving in to the natural urge to enjoy and pleasure yourself more often. You clearly have a strong awareness of the positive effects of masturbation on your body, so go ahead and experiment with masturbation frequency – in this way, you can determine what frequency feels best for you and your regular routine.

You also ask why people aren’t made aware of the “need” to masturbate often. Good question – especially in light of the study’s findings that frequent ejaculation helps reduce the risk of prostate cancer. Unfortunately, self-stimulation – as with most sexual acts – is often viewed as shameful, dirty, immoral, and all sorts of other negative adjectives. Wouldn’t it be great if masturbation could be seen as the healthy, enjoyable, and beneficial activity it really is, openly talked about and (gasp!) endorsed? Perhaps one day it will be – with more people like you who are open-minded and bold enough to talk about it in a positive light.

[Big Sexy]

Holding your pee — will it damage the prostate?
http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/3742.html

Dear Alice,

Is it true if a guy holds his urine too long it can damage the prostate and make it harder if not impossible to have boners or be aroused?

Signed,
I watch too many movies


Dear I watch too many movies,

Holding your urine for extended periods can be uncomfortable and may put you at increased risk for urinary tract infections, but it isn't likely to damage your prostate or hamper your sexual performance. Your bladder is a muscle. If you delay using the bathroom on a regular-basis, the bladder may become overfull, causing it to distend or stretch out. This may impact your ability to empty your bladder completely, which might make you have to pee more often, since you lose storage space. (This, however, is relatively uncommon in younger people.)

Bladder weakness may also decrease the sensation of having to urinate. You may not feel you have to pee until your bladder is extremely full, so you don't have a lot warning time before you really need to pee. Accidents or leakage may be more likely to occur.
For the health of your plumbing, drinking plenty of fluids and peeing regularly is advised. But even if you get stuck in a long bathroom line and are forced to hold it, your prostate and potency should be safe!

[Big Sexy]

Epididymitis
http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/2628.html

Dear Alice,

I got epididymitis a month after surgery — 2 weeks after surgery got very bad flu — MD said flu virus settled in epididymis. Tried antibiotics, no success. Have now had epididymitis for 15 months. MD says can do nothing when epididymitis is viral based... just have to wait. Have looked at all possibilities... zero chance of STD related and urologist said not bladder or urethral caused. There has to be something to clear this up! Based on scale of 1 to 10, pain level has dropped from 8 to constant 3 or 4. Tired of hurting. Over last year have also developed major difficulty getting erections... can this somehow be connected to epididymitis? What can be done to get rid of epididymitis... permanently! Please advise.



Dear Reader,

It sounds as if you have been through quite an ordeal.

Usually, epididymitis is an acute bacterial infection of the epididymis (the tube that carries the sperm in the testicles). Along with antibiotics, comfort measures, such as warm compresses and nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory medications (e.g., ibuprofen, acetaminophen, naproxen sodium, aspirin), usually clear up the infection and resolve the accompanying pain or discomfort within about 2 - 4 weeks.

Chronic epididymitis (lasting longer than 6 weeks) can occur without any bacterial infection present. It sometimes develops after a severe case of epididymitis or after multiple attacks of acute epididymitis. A chronic urinary tract infection sometimes also has been the source of chronic epididymitis.

If your health care provider decides that you have chronic epididymitis, you may be advised to take warm baths, use warm compresses, take nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory medications, and/or use medications that can relax some of the muscles in the area around your epididymis.

When chronic epididymitis results in severe chronic pain, some urologists inject steroids or numbing medicines directly into the structure within the testicle that contains the epididymis. This technique provides some relief for a few months, although it may not be a permanent solution. Some practitioners then repeat the injection, again providing the person with a brief window of relief.

As a last resort, some health care providers recommend surgery to remove the entire epididymis (called an epididymectomy). This surgery has mixed results for men; research indicates that men who undergo epididymectomy due to chronic pain after a vasectomy or due to cysts on the epididymis have a better outcome than do men who undergo the procedure to solve nonspecific epididymal pain or chronic epididymitis. After epididymectomy, sperm from that testicle can no longer pass through to the outside; sperm from the other testicle still can, so an epididymectomy does not make a man sterile.

When you have a medical problem that your current health care provider has not been able to adequately treat or explain, and when you notice new symptoms that aren't usually associated with the original problem (difficulty with erections), it is your right to get a second opinion from another health care provider. It makes sense, after fifteen months, to look for another urologist who has particular expertise in the treatment of epididymitis. If you don't have computer access, you can use the local public library's computer to find a specialist in your area, or you can get a referral from the urology department of the nearest major teaching hospital, your primary care physician, or your insurance company for a specialist that your insurance will cover.

By reaching out to Alice, you have shown that you are an advocate for yourself. Now you can move on to verifying the diagnosis with another specialist, and to learning what other current or new, state-of-the-art or experimental treatments might be available for you.

[Big Sexy]

Urethritis, or what?
http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/2622.html

Urethritis is swelling and irritation (inflammation) of the urethra. The urethra is the tube that carries urine from the body.

Alice,

My boyfriend has had pain during urination and ejaculation. We have been only with each other for the last past year and neither of us have std's. The info I have found on the internet makes me believe maybe he has urethritis. My question is, can you cause damage to the urethra during oral sex? I don't want to get to personal, so I will leave it alone, but I want to know, can you cause damage due to any force to the urethral opening?



Dear Reader,

It's unclear from your question whether your boyfriend always or only sometimes has pain with urination and ejaculation. A good guideline to use is that whenever someone has either constant or recurrent pain, it's time to confer with a health care provider to get some answers.

It's common for men to have a burning sensation, discomfort, or pain when they first urinate directly after ejaculation; this is because friction applied to the urethra during masturbation, anal or vaginal intercourse, or receiving oral sex can cause some minor irritation to the tissues of the urethra. The urine passing over these irritated tissues causes a burning sensation. However, pain while urinating and/or ejaculating can also occur with inflammation or infection of many of the structures of the urinary/reproductive tract, such as the urethra (tube that leads from the bladder out the end of the penis), prostate (gland that encircles the neck of the bladder and urethra), and epididymis (sperm-carrying tube within the testicles). Both sexually-transmitted and other types of infections can affect all of these structures. Allergies to ingredients used in lube and/or latex condoms, or mechanical injury to the urethra from objects inserted into the penis, could also cause your boyfriend's discomfort.

In order to diagnose an infection in your boyfriend's reproductive/urinary tract, he usually needs to provide a urine sample for testing. A sterile swab may be inserted into the tip of his penis to get material from the urethra for analysis. Pressure on the prostate may be applied during a rectal exam, in order to obtain prostate fluid for examination.

If your boyfriend does have an infection, it will probably be treated with antibiotics directed against the specific organism that is identified. Sometimes, even if no organism is identified, a trial of antibiotics is given, to see if the symptoms are relieved. If antibiotics don't relieve your boyfriend's symptoms, he may be referred to a specialist in the urinary tract (urologist), who may wish to use a magnifying scope instrument to examine your boyfriend's urinary tract in an attempt to figure out why he is having such regular discomfort and pain.

Regarding your question about oral sex causing damage to the urethra: receiving plain ol' oral sex may cause irritation to the urethra, as described above, but it's unlikely to cause actual physical damage. However, inserting items into the urethra could potentially cause irritation or damage, and could also certainly introduce a variety of organisms that could cause serious infection.

Your boyfriend can experiment with emptying his bladder prior to (and after) sex. These simple acts also can help to reduce irritation.

[Big Sexy]

Men's hot flashes: Andropause?
http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/2557.html

Dear Alice,

This may sound weird, but I feel like I am having hot flashes. I start to feel very warm, even when the room is not. The feeling lasts about an hour, then goes away, and returns, sometimes several times a day. Can a guy in his twenties, or any guy for that matter, have them?

Dear Reader,

While most twenty-something men are fully comfortable getting hot and sweaty in the gym or elsewhere, experiencing the types of heat waves typically associated with fifty-something women can be upsetting for them. And so, it's understandable that you are concerned about this shift in your internal thermometer.

It is indeed possible for a guy in his twenties to experience hot flashes. A number of conditions cause hot flashes, including hyperthyroidism (an over-active thyroid), too low blood pressure, and hypoglycemia (low blood sugar). Also, men who have had their prostate removed can experience hot flashes, as a result of the decreased testosterone levels. In all of these cases, the conditions would have existed prior to your experiencing the hot flashes. If things have seemed normal up to this point, it is possible you are experiencing a male version of menopause, or andropause.

Whether or not andropause even exists is still a hotly debated topic among endocrinologists, psychologists, and andrologists (docs who specialize in men's health). What has been definitively confirmed is that the free active testosterone (FAT) level of a man at 18 is very different from that of a man at 80 years. Some hold that a change known as andropause exists, and — although it differs from menopause — it shares a number of symptoms. The following table clarifies some of the differences between menopause and andropause:

Menopause
Affects all women
Ability to reproduce ceases
A sharp drop in estrogen levels that occurs sometime in a woman's forties or fifties

Andropause
Affects only some men
No change in reproductive ability
A gradual decline in testosterone that can start as early as the late twenties or as late as age sixty

In spite of these physiological differences, the effects of decreased hormone levels affect men and women similarly. Both can bring on emotional changes, including depression, lethargy, increased irritability, memory problems, and the like. Additionally, both menopause and andropause often alter a person's sexual life. Both can lead to decreased sex drive and difficulty being aroused (marked by vaginal dryness in women and weaker erections in men).

[Big Sexy]

Do no testicles mean no erection? (Testicular torsion)
http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/2121.html

Dear Alice,

My friend had to have both of his testicles removed because of Testicular Torsion... will he be able to get an erection now?? What are the testicles for, anyway??


Dear Reader,

Testicular torsion is a painful condition that occurs when the spermatic cord — which includes the vas deferens, arteries, veins, lymphatics, and nerves — twists and cuts off blood supply to the testicle (where sperm and testosterone are produced). It happens when a small ligament that normally attaches a testicle's base to the scrotum becomes loose, allowing the testicle to twist and turn. A man could be born with a loose ligament, and so have some predisposition for this, but testicular torsion can also be the result of trauma to the scrotum or really strenuous physical activity.

Most often occurring in males under the age of 30 years, testicular torsion is more common during infancy or adolescence. It is estimated that the condition affects about 1 in 4,000 males under 25 years of age in the United States.

Symptoms of testicular torsion include:

* onset of sudden pain in a testicle
* swelling or tenderness of the scrotum
* nausea, vomiting, and/or fever
* abdominal pain
* fainting and light-headedness
* elevation of the testicle on the affected side

Testicular torsion requires surgery. In most cases, surgery needs to be performed as soon as possible after the onset of symptoms — preferably within six hours — in order to save the testicle. A restriction of blood flow due to testicular torsion could, over time, lead to the atrophying (shrinking) of the testicle, or even infection.

Having one testicle removed need not diminish or reduce sex drive or erections. But because the testicles produce male hormones, men who have lost both of their testes may experience a reduction in sex drive and difficulty in getting and/or maintaining an erection. When both testicles have been removed, the next step is usually testosterone replacement therapy, which can be discussed with one's primary health care provider or urologist.

[Big Sexy]

Blood in semen
http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/1022.html

Dear Alice,

My wife and I had sex the other day, and when I ejaculated, my semen had blood in it. I have no blood in my urine. What could be wrong?

Dear Reader,

Blood in the semen is known as hematospermia. This condition is actually fairly common, and in younger men, it's very rarely a sign of a serious problem. Hematospermia has many potential causes, the most common of which is inflammation of the seminal vesicles (the small glands that produce most of the fluid in semen). Other possible explanations may include inflammation or lesions in other parts of the reproductive system (e.g., the prostate, urethra, testicles, and epididymis), trauma to the genitals, or certain infections.

[nottituck]

thanks bro, you are definitely an expert in this area where sex is concerned.

[ThaiBeautiful]

Up for this great help!

[Ashyboy]

Hi bro i cant find the thread about the ejaculation problem...As when i having sex, i cant overcome the ejaculation...well but from the bros out there, i heard of the spray thing and also gambir...is it adviceable??

[Wetwethole]

wow...good information

[amenda]

thanks a lot for discussing this

[KE611]

A Big Thank You to you bro Big Sexy for this wonderful thread. The informations provided is very helpful. Kum Sia