Sex and a guilty conscience

[agent47]

Hi bros, this thread is just for me to use as an outlet of my grievances. I'm so called leading a double life, a good son just starting out in a good career(hopefully) and with a gf of many long years. doesnt do drink/club.. but on the dark side, an guy who has trouble controlling his desires and going for FLs for the past few years. I have noone to let this out to and here is the only way i could think of coz nobody knows abt my 'second life'. This is not a medical health issue but more of psychological.

The main reason currently why I still go for FLs, is coz my gf is a strict abstinence believer. and self pleasure is getting too boring. so i look for FLs in sbf who are value for money. Im sure this is pretty common for most of us guys. But for me my guilty conscience kicks in everytime after my first shot. i start thinking abt my gf, my money, and my health. i once had a friend who told me..what for go for fl..if you put $100 on your head and masturbate, you will still feel satisfied and your money still there. what he said was true..only for sometime till i have the urge to fuck again.

my preferences: minah or teens(above 18 of course) eg. bro sinful desires's girls.
Today was an eye opener of what I'm actually doing.
had an fl who i knew thru chat who aeroplane me halfway thru the course. suppose to be 2 shots but ended up 1 shot and she said she'll be back but nv did. i was scared she ran of with my stuff but luckily it was still there.. i left the room minutes after she did.

ive also had some worry of infecting STDs. i havent get myself tested..but will do soon. iv nv done raw on FLs..but i did paint them before.

but havent you thought how much all that money that went to fucking can buy you?

$100 could last me for 2 weeks of meals..
$40 could for a bj could have been used to give my siblings some pocket money. there are many more ideas..

ill write more soon

If any bros who feel that i'm wasting space or trying to psycho others out..i'm sorry..it wasnt my intention. im just letting out my feelings here..pls ignore if its not ur liking.

[havefun3]

i understand u dude. i am also the same.. masturbate will only satisfied u for a time being.. at the end of the day u still need to penetrate... the only difference with u is that currently i do not have a gf.. but i am wooing one now.. i am trying to stop that but always small head lead big head... sigh.. like u always after shooting.. start to worry about other things.. family , health ,money ...etc.. it been 2 weeks i had sex.. hopefully i can tahan not to visit fl... good luck to u and me as well as other brothers..

[Cunt-Sucker]

Thank God! Finally someone who's having the same troubling issue! & I thought I am probably the only fucker who's having this kind of contradicting feelings ...

I'm actually married, but CO not into sex, so being a new-age sensitive guy, gotta respect her instead of forcing myself onto her. Been doing it by myself for the longest time, sometimes, yes, I do try to comfort myself by thinking of how much $ I saved, how safe it is, how I'm able to face CO & kids with a clear conscience ... but more often, I was weeping inside my heart after my own shot, thinking of what a loser I am, hiding inside toilet doing by myself despite my marriage, how much I yearn the feeling of a pussy wrapping around my dick, how nice it feels to have a partner who can participate thoroughly, whole-heartedly and at least pretend to enjoy doing the act with you ... & that's when I will sometimes succumb to the dark side & cross over ...

I've been thinking: So what's exactly the cause of all these? Uncompromising CO / GF? Or just we guys are born fuckers who must always get into pants of women? or maybe both?

[tobby]

Ya manzz...i am equally frustrated. Every time i request, i get turned down. Ask 10 times, 9 times no. Tried telling my wife of my needs but she never improve. So after a while, i dont even feel like asking anymore. So i resort to my right hand and lots of porn.
Tried FL once but i was so nervous i could not get an erection. After that never tried.

I guess end of the day. i dont think it is wrong to find a FL to ease our needs. But you must know how to clean your mouth after eating. Dont let it wreck your marriage or relationship.

Money can earn back. I think $100-200 is rather reasonable for a good session. They are paid to please, it is the kind of service you will never and should never expect to get from your wife. GF i think can. GFs are forever horny during the courtship. After marriage, sex will only go downhill.

If you are young and having a GF, please dont think of commercial sex. You can get all the sex you want from your GF.

2 cents worth

[delayer]

i guess it really depends on many factors?
Maybe stress? or scared of getting pregnant?
before getting married. Had your CO/gf changed alot?

hope my other half dont change. she has been nice to accommodate my needs even when she has headaches.

[maxman]

Originally Posted by agent47

Hi bros, this thread is just for me to use as an outlet of my grievances. I'm so called leading a double life, a good son just starting out in a good career(hopefully) and with a gf of many long years. doesnt do drink/club.. but on the dark side, an guy who has trouble controlling his desires and going for FLs for the past few years. I have noone to let this out to and here is the only way i could think of coz nobody knows abt my 'second life'. This is not a medical health issue but more of psychological.

The main reason currently why I still go for FLs, is coz my gf is a strict abstinence believer. and self pleasure is getting too boring. so i look for FLs in sbf who are value for money. Im sure this is pretty common for most of us guys. But for me my guilty conscience kicks in everytime after my first shot. i start thinking abt my gf, my money, and my health. i once had a friend who told me..what for go for fl..if you put $100 on your head and masturbate, you will still feel satisfied and your money still there. what he said was true..only for sometime till i have the urge to fuck again.

my preferences: minah or teens(above 18 of course) eg. bro sinful desires's girls.
Today was an eye opener of what I'm actually doing.
had an fl who i knew thru chat who aeroplane me halfway thru the course. suppose to be 2 shots but ended up 1 shot and she said she'll be back but nv did. i was scared she ran of with my stuff but luckily it was still there.. i left the room minutes after she did.

ive also had some worry of infecting STDs. i havent get myself tested..but will do soon. iv nv done raw on FLs..but i did paint them before.

but havent you thought how much all that money that went to fucking can buy you?

$100 could last me for 2 weeks of meals..
$40 could for a bj could have been used to give my siblings some pocket money. there are many more ideas..

ill write more soon

If any bros who feel that i'm wasting space or trying to psycho others out..i'm sorry..it wasnt my intention. im just letting out my feelings here..pls ignore if its not ur liking.

You are not the only man who feels this way. Very surely, many other men feel the same too.

A good friend and I both have girlfriends who agree to sex but we still don't feel satisfied.

[NewMartin]

Originally Posted by tobby

Ya manzz...i am equally frustrated. Every time i request, i get turned down. Ask 10 times, 9 times no. Tried telling my wife of my needs but she never improve. So after a while, i dont even feel like asking anymore. So i resort to my right hand and lots of porn.
Tried FL once but i was so nervous i could not get an erection. After that never tried.

I guess end of the day. i dont think it is wrong to find a FL to ease our needs. But you must know how to clean your mouth after eating. Dont let it wreck your marriage or relationship.

Money can earn back. I think $100-200 is rather reasonable for a good session. They are paid to please, it is the kind of service you will never and should never expect to get from your wife. GF i think can. GFs are forever horny during the courtship. After marriage, sex will only go downhill.

If you are young and having a GF, please dont think of commercial sex. You can get all the sex you want from your GF.

2 cents worth

You Are The Man...very agreed with u man bro..i am facing the same problem with u too..cheers

[wohaha96]

We should keep this as sticky, hide all the nicks so that one find day one good reporter will see this trend and write a article on it.

It's not we wanted to cheat, we hate the guilty feelings and the infinite loop of internal struggle but we do have our needs. With uncompromising CO, it just adds to the stress we are already facing.

There is love and natural need. But when needs vs love, it's very painful.

[neocheang]

wow.....finally someone voice out what most of us men is facing. But what am i gona say, not so sure weather is this the correct thread...
am in early 30s...had a stable gf. like all bros here. am much into FL. is not that my gf refuses to give me. is just that, of all my gf. this current one is not sexually attracted to me...... AT ALL!!!
though she has a pretty and cute face, but just that her body doesnt attract me to it. she's not fat. just little fleshy on the stomach and tigh.
the most we do it twice per month!!!!!! am i really that bastard???! she is the most caring gf , those wifey type.but seems that no matter how hard i try..i cant seems to get interested to bonk her at least twice per month..(she did complain to me). i know tis is not healthy in a relationship.
EVERY week. i would bonk a local FL... each time ranging from 150 to 300! am i really that sick? any also after bonking them.... i dont feel any guilty conscience!!
any bro care to share their exprience????? plssss
any bro faces the same problem as i am with the spouse?

[Fatboy39]

Yo bro,

If you feel this way,that means you are still human.
Continue to play it safe though.
Don't bring STDs home to you close ones and you're just fine.
Remember, money for family first.
Fuck FLs only when got more than enough.
Love your family first, love your penis second.
I can safely say I understand you bro.
Goodluck with life in hornyness!

[too_hot]

Originally Posted by havefun3

i understand u dude. i am also the same.. masturbate will only satisfied u for a time being.. at the end of the day u still need to penetrate... the only difference with u is that currently i do not have a gf.. but i am wooing one now.. i am trying to stop that but always small head lead big head... sigh.. like u always after shooting.. start to worry about other things.. family , health ,money ...etc.. it been 2 weeks i had sex.. hopefully i can tahan not to visit fl... good luck to u and me as well as other brothers..

For me, the difference btw pcc and FL/WL is not (entirely) about the penetration, its also about having another warm (female) body, the interaction, etc....but sometimes its actually caused by boredom (!!). ya i know it sounds stupid but being single, sometimes really nothing to do and you know what they say, "an idle mind is the devil's workshop"....especially when go orchard and see some of those mini skirts, etc etc. will need to release the tension/urge...at least i dun have gf to feel guilty but i do feel guilty abt wasting money on short term thrill....

[Gerald Tan]

Sigh..if only GFs and Wifes know and understand the situation of their BFs or Hubbies, then this sorry state of practical world can be limited or eliminated.
But i guess..life is like dat...meanwhile, let's us enjoy life to the fullest with responsibility and caring...

[agent47]

Well, i guess many of us have different and some have similar views on this.

Probably a guy with a well-endowed and pretty face gf with a mid-hi sex drive may not have so much of this problem coz he has a 'clean' way to let go.
i feel for you guys who already has a CO, yet..not getting much action. Sex to me is rather different without the love. A simple session with hugging/kissing and simple penetration(compared to a porn movie type) with the wife would satisfy us enough. I'm not married yet but have been with my gf for a long time and sex b4 marriage is a no-no to her. probably those married could have some talk time or 'induction' with her for a pleasureful marriage.

Its true, money can be earned. but what if those who go for weekly sessions or maybe twice weekly? that counts to like 400-800 a mth based on a $100 FL. and we know its a rarity to find $100 locals(usually minah can find) or those which give good service.. good for you if you have money set aside for this and your desires can be control. And the risk of STDs is also higher. $800 to get STD? not for me.

BUT despite saying this, dicks will be dicks and desires will still come. but if we dont address these issues with our loved one..it will be a vicious cycle. and CAN we address this with them in a comfortable and maturely in the first place?

[orneryjoe]

It's all down to the nature thing -- men (and maybe women too) are genetically hardwired to crave for sexual variety. We can't help it.

We can't help feeling guilty either. This is not genetic, but almost just as strong, because of our cultural identification with the "virtue" of monogamy.

Genes and culture make us into what we are -- this wanting more and yet feeling guilty about it is an excellent example of that universal truth.

It's not a vicious cycle by the way -- most people just find a way to live with these conflicting emotions within us. It's part of the human makeup.

There have been attempts to resolve the situation -- some people who are more enlightened agree to enter into open relationships. But in our cultural environment, this is next to impossible for most people who are trapped in the conventional notions of marriage and relationships. For the younger people out there, it may not be too late but for most married people, our fate is sealed.

Take the example of Tiger Woods, and nearer home, Jack Neo -- how they suffered because of what they had to go through. Were they really immoral people or just normal human beings like most people here?

[too_hot]

Originally Posted by agent47

Its true, money can be earned. but what if those who go for weekly sessions or maybe twice weekly? that counts to like 400-800 a mth based on a $100 FL. and we know its a rarity to find $100 locals(usually minah can find) or those which give good service.. good for you if you have money set aside for this and your desires can be control. And the risk of STDs is also higher. $800 to get STD? not for me.

Well, moderation is the key. I will be happy enough with one session per week. So abt $400 to $500 per month max.

Going after a local gal will easily cost u a more than dat - and u may end up with nothing in return! Nice dinner once a week will already cost more than one FL then comes all the gifts especially on bday, xmas and valentines. Not to mention, she may ask u for this favour and dat favour. If her family gets into trouble (eg. parent warded to hospital) somehow u also will help (wad to do, u love her right?). Then u tink when she finally accept u is ho seh liao. Then wedding how? honeymoon how? Also big bomb. My fren getting married soon and he told me he paid almost $10k for wedding ring (huge!) and 1mth (!!) honeymoon another $10k. Then the dinner also he pay (hopefully he can recover that cost). And i have to say, the gal not very nice also but so demanding. He also LL. After the wedding, comes the marriage. Can the marriage last for 30 or 40 yrs? maybe after all ur effort to go after her and finally get her, in the end regret (as some bros mentioned here) or you or ur wife got affair? life is so unpredictable.

So for me, FL/WL is the straightforward way to get wat u want without all the hassle. I still have my freedom. I can "play" as long as i want (some of my married frens told me after the first few years, they don't bonk anymore and their wife is just "someone he lives with"). As long as u know ur limits, sometimes can get some gfe and kc from FL/WL too.

Sorry if above is pessimistic and i am sure got many happily married couples out there - i am just not lucky enough to be one of them. But i am at least lucky enough not to be one of those in unhappy and messy marriage...