Have i deter her away from me?

[leonard87]

Hey bros, i am having some questions in my head and maybe tell the whole damn story before asking the bros out here for advice.

Well, i have a gf who is with me for already for 4 years and she is a really good girl..but not exactly my type of girl..even at that point of time when being together my close friends asked me why did i chose her..i told them i dunno..maybe coz she can accept me for my past..

For these four years, its not without argument and wanting to breakup..mostly from her side. Our arguments came mostly as she is a feminist and i am a 大男人, so the recent really break up was at last Feb, i was already confused whether my love for her became a responsibilty as she had given me 4yrs of her life but we patched back recently..But before all these..i knew a girl during last dec during a job interview, she was totally attracting me..though we have each other contact i din really dare to talk to her much as i have a gf..

It came Jan this year and i entered my new job..then during late Jan i saw her again as she just came into the job, we chatted a lot since then though its abit hard since she is in training with another batch..i felt that liking for her..and i think she knows it too..Then during my breakup with my gf..she did asked me what happened and i told her about it..and we were saying that we are those type of people rarely gt people like de..and i teased her back saying impossible as she is quite beautiful..and i told her that i still like her but well...nothing came out of it..we just continued being gd frens..

I eventually patched back with my gf..as i kind of determined that i still have feelings for her..i can't bear to see her sad..but i still continue having contact with that girl and her every msg will make me smile..and we arranged to meet up someday as we got arranged to go different places..so we met up yesterday and went for a movie " Dark Shadows" and the point of contact is so close that it made my heart really miss a beat..a feeling i really dun get after so long..after the movie we went for ice cream and we talked about work and ourselves..but i din dare to tell her abt my certain past even when she asked about as i dun want to lose her..we took pictures using our hp and i put my arms around her waist which she din reject..and after moving off i tried to hold her hands though its just for a short while..

In the end of the day, her dad came to fetch her home and i kinda felt happy and sad..becoz she is one girl i know i can never be with..kinda a belief that i have from young that the girl that i really want will never be mine..and before i slept, i text her telling her that i am sorry for crossing my line by holding her hand and putting my arms around her and i really like her in which i really dun want anything in exchange..and i am not looking to go into her pants..i just want to be someone who can share her woes and sadness and a shoulder for her to lie on..but she din reply me at all..

So guys, what should i do? i know i am a bastard..having a long time gf yet..my hearts are missing a beat for another..and sorry for writing such a long story..

[sane]

How do you know whether that's her dad and not her bf? A attractive gal like her are probably attached.

And if she's decent gal who comes from a protective family underground, high chances is that she don't want to intrude into other's r/s.

U might like to re evaluate your r/s with your long term gf. If you think u r with her because she gave you 4years of her youth, then you should not be wasting more of her time.

The best will be ending a r/s properly before u get involved with another. Don't be such a jerk to keep yr gf in the dark while u go wooing other gals.

It's too early to tell whether she likes you or just see you as a colleague. Take time and understand each other more before making any decision.

[Likeucare]

haha u will always want what u cant have. maybe thats true. talk with yr gf find out whats wrong? sparks dying out? try to relive the moments rechase her all over again. refreshing feeling. gotten to used to each other taking each other for granted le. do something u never done before =D

as for the other ger.. just let her be a fairy tale. shes pretty but single? maybe shes having lot of fb haha u never know right. better to stay with yr decent gf

[2centsworth]

Originally Posted by leonard87

i text her telling her that i am sorry for crossing my line by holding her hand and putting my arms around her and i really like her in which i really dun want anything in exchange..and i am not looking to go into her pants..i just want to be someone who can share her woes and sadness and a shoulder for her to lie on..but she din reply me at all..

You sound confused and undecided. Until you know what you want, what kind of reply do you want from her? You held her hands but don't want anything in exchange. Her thinking will be you held her hands and don't want to give her any status. You think she's so easy to let men hold her hand? You say you want to share her woes and sadness. She probably think you will be the main reason for her future woes and sadness if you are still undecided. It does feel like you led her on knowing fully well that you can't offer her any official status.

My guess is that you sell products in a bank. Focus on your career and do well. If you are in sales, the ladies in sales look up to top producers a lot. If your career takes off and you subsequently leave your gf in future and if the paths cross again, perhaps you might get a second chance with this colleague.

[sta1100]

Yu are sue a fxxking asshole, she gave you 4 yr of her youth and you are not sure about her. In the first place you she let her go and let he find someone better than you, I really hoPe she dump you this (shit) and get a better life partner.
Zap me if you want

[asdfghjkl]

are you born in 1987? young guy i would say. the members have spoken well..

[sane]

Originally Posted by 2centsworth

You say you want to share her woes and sadness. She probably think you will be the main reason for her future woes and sadness if you are still undecided. It does feel like you led her on knowing fully well that you can't offer her any official status.

haha tt's a good one !

[Likeucare]

Originally Posted by sta1100

Yu are sue a fxxking asshole, she gave you 4 yr of her youth and you are not sure about her. In the first place you she let her go and let he find someone better than you, I really hoPe she dump you this (shit) and get a better life partner.
Zap me if you want

wow more fierce than me haha

[leonard87]

Originally Posted by sane

How do you know whether that's her dad and not her bf? A attractive gal like her are probably attached.

And if she's decent gal who comes from a protective family underground, high chances is that she don't want to intrude into other's r/s.

U might like to re evaluate your r/s with your long term gf. If you think u r with her because she gave you 4years of her youth, then you should not be wasting more of her time.

The best will be ending a r/s properly before u get involved with another. Don't be such a jerk to keep yr gf in the dark while u go wooing other gals.

It's too early to tell whether she likes you or just see you as a colleague. Take time and understand each other more before making any decision.

Well..first of all becoz i knew for around 5 months le..then our training grounds are at the same place and i know she does not have a bf..you are correct is saying that i should end my r/s properly..but..i dunno and i can't bear to see my her sad..i am just too soft hearted..and ur right too that its too early to tell too..

[leonard87]

Originally Posted by 2centsworth

You sound confused and undecided. Until you know what you want, what kind of reply do you want from her? You held her hands but don't want anything in exchange. Her thinking will be you held her hands and don't want to give her any status. You think she's so easy to let men hold her hand? You say you want to share her woes and sadness. She probably think you will be the main reason for her future woes and sadness if you are still undecided. It does feel like you led her on knowing fully well that you can't offer her any official status.

My guess is that you sell products in a bank. Focus on your career and do well. If you are in sales, the ladies in sales look up to top producers a lot. If your career takes off and you subsequently leave your gf in future and if the paths cross again, perhaps you might get a second chance with this colleague.

Yes, i am confused..for 4 years even if i did cross paths with other gals..they din give me that type of feeling..i din really held her hand for that long..its like just a brief moment..before she is leaving..and no..i dun sell product in a bank..

[leonard87]

Originally Posted by sta1100

Yu are sue a fxxking asshole, she gave you 4 yr of her youth and you are not sure about her. In the first place you she let her go and let he find someone better than you, I really hoPe she dump you this (shit) and get a better life partner.
Zap me if you want

Hey, i won't zap you..i know i would get this response..

[leonard87]

Originally Posted by asdfghjkl

are you born in 1987? young guy i would say. the members have spoken well..

Yup..thks for saying i am still young..in other matters i can have a clear decision of what i want..but in matters of heart..this time i am really unsure..

[playboybunny]

Have a break.


Your current mindset will not allow you two to have a happy ending.

[Castrol]

Originally Posted by leonard87

i text her telling her that i am sorry for crossing my line by holding her hand and putting my arms around her and i really like her in which i really dun want anything in exchange..and i am not looking to go into her pants..i just want to be someone who can share her woes and sadness and a shoulder for her to lie on..but she din reply me at all..

So guys, what should i do?

sms her again and again until she replys or she changes her hp number lah.

[leonard87]

Originally Posted by Castrol

sms her again and again until she replys or she changes her hp number lah.

Well she just replied to me, she was charging her phone..and she told me that she felt honored knowing how i felt about her..she asked me to treasure my r/s since i have come this far..and she is really glad to have me as a friend..and well after that we just continue on normal topics...