Worst time for sex, literally

xuanz · #1 21-11-2013, 05:36 AM

Hi Humans, I decided to write down something that I experienced myself. This is definitely nothing against the ladies out there, in fact someone could also start about the other gender.

Behind every great sex, almost everyone we know has a hilarious, embarrassing and downright sex story. These are mine.. Please laugh!

PASS OUT LOH.
On my third date with this girl, I was extremely excited because I have this gut feeling I will end the night on the bed with her. We were drinking and chatting the night out. As soon as we reached her place, we started making out and while i was trying to get her bra off. THIS GIRL, PASSED OUT on the bed until the next morning. SONGBO?

ACCIDENT HAPPENS, SOMETIMES
We were all getting warmed up, kissing and stuff. Midway, she decided to slide around from being bottom to the top. While sliding, she thought it would be sexy that she lift her leg up and just at the same time.. I lifted my head. The next thing I know was, I ended up with a bruised nose, bruised ego plus a not very sextisfed penis.

THEN YOU HAVE THOSE KIND.. WITH ALLERGIES.
you decided you want to surprise you girlfriends on vday with some kinky sexy toys you got for her. You researched about how damn well it will works on girl that got you thinking for the whole day. So you tried the sex toy on her, initially she looks like she was having the best time of her life. Then.. for somewhat reason she had. It started getting itchy for her and then lumps appear on her inner thighs. (eh, how to continue from there?)

CAUGHT BY YOU-KNOW-WHO
One afternoon, while having sex with my girl at her place. Her mom walked into the room like just any mom does. Stared at us, screamed while my dick was still inside her daughter. Oh, that was also the last time I went to her house. lol.

TWO IS OKAY, THREE IS A CROWD.
Hooked some chick from the club, turned out she was a tourist. We were all warmed up from all the grinding and kissing in the club, she invited me back to her hotel room. I mean, I don't lose anything. When i got to her hotel room. Turn out Someone is waiting.. her boyfriend is waiting for this threesome. (Awkward)

VIRGIN
I know this girl when I was 17. She had the best figure a JC girl could have had but the sex was not as great as how she looks. Probably too young still and was our first few times. Sex with her, was like fucking a dead wood. For some reason, I thought I was deaf because there's no sound or anything. But then again no matter how bad you first sex is, you will remember for life.

SEX IN THE SHOWER,
Yeah you think it's damn great to have sex in the shower room? Beside the balancing game you face in the shower room. For some reason, hot water makes the girl's vagina feel like carbon paper. There couldn't be a more overrated activity than having sex in the shower.

FIRE FIRE FIRE
This happened in school, I was making out with my girl. Things are getting hot and then midway through, the fire alarm rang then I got a phone call by teacher asking where the f am I. I reached the safe evacuation site, drenched like I just came out of a real Fire scene.

MOMMY, WHAT ARE THEY DOING
Okay this time round, I'm not the one having fun. I live in a HDB Flat. When I was 14YO, I always hear weird funny sound coming from my neighbour house. After weeks and weeks, I decided to ask my mom do they need help or something. Because I keep hearing some lady screaming for help. Not until I was 16yo, then i realize those sounds were actually moans and sex scream and sort. I bet my mom was so awkward when I asked her this.

Okay I think I need to put a stop to this in case I feel like a total loser for having so many funny incidents. I had my embarrassing times, what about you? (laugh)

prettymannequin · #2 21-11-2013, 08:21 AM

Hahahah the kena caught one is classic. I also tio once, but lucky his mum was damn cool, just said "next time lock the door properly" and went out wtf. Until now I still dunno how we all recovered from it, I still can sit down and happily have dinner with his family wtf.

Xuanz alot of funny incidents huh~

phimhd0006 · #3 21-11-2013, 08:47 AM

Oh ạh ah! Thank you for sharing.

H3artbr3aker · #4 21-11-2013, 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xuanz

ACCIDENT HAPPENS, SOMETIMES
We were all getting warmed up, kissing and stuff. Midway, she decided to slide around from being bottom to the top. While sliding, she thought it would be sexy that she lift her leg up and just at the same time.. I lifted my head. The next thing I know was, I ended up with a bruised nose, bruised ego plus a not very sextisfed penis.

CAUGHT BY YOU-KNOW-WHO
One afternoon, while having sex with my girl at her place. Her mom walked into the room like just any mom does. Stared at us, screamed while my dick was still inside her daughter. Oh, that was also the last time I went to her house. lol.

These 2 are the best, hahaha. Must've been damn awkward eh.

2centsworth · #5 21-11-2013, 10:13 AM

She was in Woman on top position. I said change to doggie. She said ok. She moved to the side of the bed and fell off the side of the bed. Hurt her elbow. End of session. Single bed is bad for sex.

Doggie halfway got iron smell. Look down and saw blood. Beginning of her menses. No mood.

fantasyinjector · #6 21-11-2013, 10:16 AM

haha. Getting caught by mum... Cld have a MILF fuck as well

xxxaddict · #7 21-11-2013, 10:22 AM

was getting frisky with an ex, things were getting hotter and hotter when suddenly her sister came into the room… that was a mood dampener… (her sister not hot at all)

TempLust · #8 21-11-2013, 10:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xuanz

ACCIDENT HAPPENS, SOMETIMES
We were all getting warmed up, kissing and stuff. Midway, she decided to slide around from being bottom to the top. While sliding, she thought it would be sexy that she lift her leg up and just at the same time.. I lifted my head. The next thing I know was, I ended up with a bruised nose, bruised ego plus a not very sextisfed penis.

True blue balls incident that is almost similar.

She kneed your face but mine kneed my balls. Never had a hardon shrinking faster and smaller. Clutching my jewels with tears streaming outta my eyes. Talked abt bruised ego with hurting balls.

Annabelle93 · #9 21-11-2013, 10:47 AM

ahaha ~ all ur "incidents" make me had a good laugh ~

tailgunner · #10 21-11-2013, 12:35 PM

Bro

I enjoyed reading your post..and really had a good laugh.
Up you!!

Giam · #11 21-11-2013, 01:04 PM

LOL!

The incidents u had are really funny bro!

Had a nice laugh about it...

Wednesday · #12 21-11-2013, 01:07 PM

perhaps, you need some some whipping from me, don't you?

justanothergirl · #13 21-11-2013, 02:35 PM

I think many of us have experienced the classic parents walking in on us. I've been through that not once but thrice! One of it was utterly embarassing..

We were out drinking with friends in a club. Got home to bf house really drunk and started making out in the living room downstairs, thinking everyone was asleep upstairs since it's 3am.

Make out til very horny and decided to have sex on the couch. Both strip down to nothing.. He was sitting and I was grinding him on top like I'm sex starved. Then suddenly his mum came down to get water to drink... Nothing to cover ourselves except the small square pillows

xuanz · #14 21-11-2013, 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wednesday

perhaps, you need some some whipping from me, don't you?

You want to be my next awkward moment? LOL

prettymannequin · #15 21-11-2013, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xuanz

MOMMY, WHAT ARE THEY DOING
Okay this time round, I'm not the one having fun. I live in a HDB Flat. When I was 14YO, I always hear weird funny sound coming from my neighbour house. After weeks and weeks, I decided to ask my mom do they need help or something. Because I keep hearing some lady screaming for help. Not until I was 16yo, then i realize those sounds were actually moans and sex scream and sort. I bet my mom was so awkward when I asked her this.

THIS ONE. Omg hahahaha brb CRYING.