Chitchat Rubber Stamp Hali: I am House of Lee Bumi Rubber Stamp

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An honorable member of the Coffee Shop Has Just Posted the Following:

Transmodified from Mouthpiece CNA hxxp://www.channelnewsasia.com/news/singapore/i-m-not-a-reserved-president-i-m-a-president-for-everyone-9211936

PEASANTPORE: Heartless Rubber Stamp President-elect Halimah has promised to be a Rubber Stamp President for House of Lee.

"I know, you know, many Jane Austen rebels and peasants not happy that I getting pay hike 1.54 million peanuts. Many peasants got doubts about the Procedural No Erection but I remind you I am your President-No-Erect, I know Ruler Loong signs my pay cheque, I intend to serve House of Lee without any hesitation or doubt,” said Rubber Stamp Halimah after being declared President-No Erect on Wednesday (Sep 13).

“Got erection, no erection, everyone has to kowtow Ruler Loong five times daily, just because got online dissension, there is no diminution in my devotion to the House of Lee.”

Quote:
Hide thick than Marina Barrage walls

This year’s Erection was reserved for Bumi candidates in an expensive bid to balk dissenter Tan Ah Bock. Former Imperial Speaker Halimah will be Peasantpore’s first female and the first Bumi Rubber Stamp in 47 years, after Ruler Loong decreed that she became the only peasant to qualify for the erection.

Lee Loyalist Halimah, 62, called her No Erection a triumph for House of Lee's Legalist Antics.

"This is a proud moment for House of Lee's lackeys," she said to applause at the Nomination Centre at the Peasants' Sex Association Headquarters.

"This shows that democracy and meritocracy is a sham in Peasantpore. KNNCCB remember, only regime lackeys has the chance to reach the highest office of land."

The former Imperial Speaker also gave a call out to her "peasant sisters" in the crowd.

"Women lackeys who are loyal to Ruler Loong will not be forgotten. Even Nathan who served the Kempeitai, was rewarded by House of Lee. Sell your conscience, serve the House of Lee, do more evil, serve Ruler Loong!"

CALL TO “DO GOOD BY SERVING RULER LOONG”

She concluded by exhorting all local stupid peasants to kowtow Ruler Loong's portrait five times daily!

"Next month, my pay cheque at least 30 thousand peanuts, you see, sarpok Ruler Loong, give him a easy time, don't ask stupid questions, you will rewarded! Try to be a hero like Ong Teng Cheong, bah, only an idiot will take this Rubber Stamp job seriously!"

She said twice: "Don't cry father, cry mother why Neh is also Bumi hor."

Harking back to Kee Chiew brilliant paper "Some Nehs are Bumis, you must read that paper, even Cheap Justice Water Melon farking impressed!", she gushed.

"I am deeply sorry that Salleh and Farid not as capable as me as their company too small, some say I can't run a Nasi Lemak stall, don't be stupid lah, who else can cook better curry than me?"

Quote:
Salleh and Farid found to their dismay, no connections, no talk!

HOLIER THAN THOU - STILL LIVING IN PIGEONHOLE
When asked whether she will continue to stay in Yishun or move to a bungalow once she becomes Rubber Stamp, Halimah did not give a definitive answer.

"1.54 million, cannot buy a good class bungalow, may wait for 36 full moons. Some say Istana haunted," she said with a laugh.

When reporters pressed further, her husband, Arab Mohamed, said that their pigeonhole is "as huge as a penthouse, one 4 and 5 room, not big meh?".

Mdm Halimah added: "If move to Istana, my hubby not happy he must kowtow to Ruler Loong!"

Changing topic, she also told reporters that her health was "very good".

"Not bad, Ruler Loong pays me 1.54 million peanut to walk around Istana. I do nothing, I be as happy as Nathan, Ong Teng Cheong not good example, he ask good questions, one term later, he balek kampung"

Quote:
A wise decision to be a pliant Rubber Stamp, woe betide late President Ong who tried to do his job!

Halimah will be appointed as Peasantpore’s eighth Rubber Stamp at the Istana on Thursday.

Quote:
Another example of selling your conscience to House of Lee for wealth and prestige.




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