Share of thoughts

[hellwolf1]

Hi all,

I would like to seek your thoughts or/and experience (if you have) on the matter below

Recently I have been dating a China lady in Singapore and she have went back to her country.

In coming months, I will be bringing my parents to travel in China. We are planning to have my parents to meet her over a dinner and this is where things start to get real.

A lot is going through my mind such as should I tell my parents about her now? what if they do not like the idea of marrying overseas girl? I probably understand the potential concerns from my parents such as after marriage where will both of us live in? If a child is born where will the child live? Which I share the same concern as well.

Logically dating a local would be a "safer" choice. Does that mean my love for her is not strong enough given that I have such thoughts in my mind?

Any kind bros have thoughts to share? or better still have a successful stories

looking forward to the replies!

Regards,

[ibanezjem555]

Just to clarify bro, need to ask.. was this lady a ML or FL working in Spore ?

[Marq]

I get the feel you are pretty young with the questions you ask.

But yea, the most important question is whether the girl is a ML/FL. The context is extremely different.

Go read the ICA thread, you’ll have a better picture of the implications of an overseas spouse

[lazyguy]

Hi bro,

U should try to give hints ur parent first. Or try see if they mind a china gal a not?

I know quite alot of cases of failure marriages when couple divorce without blessing from the guy side.

I myself had been in this before. Marry and divorce a China gal.

And remember if she work in singapore b4 she must get mom approval b4 can marriage.

[urger]

Oh pls, Our society doesnt need another PRC alien trash, who will marry you willingly then find an opportunity to find work in sgp. Afterwhich get financially independent from you and at the same time looking for a richer "robert head"
Finally find any excuses to file for separation and eventually divorce. Worst still, leave you with kids for you to care about.


Seen so many of my friends, neighbours of falling into their trap.

For money seek and a singapore residence permit, they r willingly to "love" you and let u poke their CB. Once they achieve their goal, they will disappear like a ghost.

Good luck.

[fallen11]

i suggest dont let her meet your parents first.
Just go meet her alone and dont let her know u brought parents to china.

[hellwolf1]

Hi all,

thanks all bros that have replied. Have saw 1 of the important question whether if the lady is ML or FL. she is neither. Also noticed that seems like it is best to give my parents a heads up before any surprises.

My concern is more on future such as if we were to get married, where will we live in etc... of course if my income is higher then ideally it would be to stay in Singapore but what if she earns more in China, am I willing to live there? this is something i cannot overcome with. Furthermore what if a child is born and living far away from my parents and vice versa for her.

Which is why i am in a dilemma as to whether to continue this relationship or better cut it short like Chinese saying 長痛不如短痛

Regards

[Marq]

Originally Posted by hellwolf1

Hi all,

thanks all bros that have replied. Have saw 1 of the important question whether if the lady is ML or FL. she is neither. Also noticed that seems like it is best to give my parents a heads up before any surprises.

My concern is more on future such as if we were to get married, where will we live in etc... of course if my income is higher then ideally it would be to stay in Singapore but what if she earns more in China, am I willing to live there? this is something i cannot overcome with. Furthermore what if a child is born and living far away from my parents and vice versa for her.

Which is why i am in a dilemma as to whether to continue this relationship or better cut it short like Chinese saying 長痛不如短痛

Regards

Sorry, but nobody can give you any answer such as where to live, to each his own. Also, you already know what kind of job she holds, so you can definitely have a good idea how much she can earn in SG or in China.

Besides, you sound like you know staying in SG is better, so I feel you are just looking for vindication.

[lazyguy]

From what you have say. I found that you should already have the answer you need.

Enjoy life and don't regret whatever decision you make.

[maxsee]

Sorry to break your bubble, but i dun think you are ready for marriage. Be it to a China lady, vietnam lady, Singapore lady or whatsoever. The very fact that you would highlight a lady's nationality to determine whether to marry her shows great immaturity.

A person should be judge by her character as a whole not their nationality. I know of a few ladies from china that are much more cultured and richer than the average singaporeans.

One of my neighbours, a china lady bought a 2m house here in Singapore by herself. I am quite certain she dun need a singapore guy to obtain residency here.

Don't mind me saying, the china gal u know probably hails from tier 2 or 3 city countryside area....and most likely earn 2-5k a month here in singapore. China is a huge country, there are different tiers of people in their country just for ur info.

My advise would be give urself a few more years then date when u r truly mature.

[MoeLanYong]

Ditch her. I seldom see a couple from different countries survive a marriage. Like 20% rate. Both have different cultures and upbringings. The values system is often mismatched.

Of course, its lovey dovey now. When you 2 settle down, the quarrels will start. From furnishing your home to raising your kid. She quarrels with you, runs off with your precious child to China, you hum. Trust me, you will find your child precious.

[MuffDiver69]

there are actually many PRC ladies that are making good money in singapore and they are not in the vice trade.

there are some young researchers with PhD in NTU and NUS, they are in their mid to late 20s. there are some slightly older PhD's (30s and 40s) in the big manufacturing plants as RD engineers or Material Science Lab engineers.

these ladies easily make 5k and above (china PhD so a lot cheaper than local PhD)

[bbm82]

Originally Posted by MoeLanYong

Ditch her. I seldom see a couple from different countries survive a marriage. Like 20% rate. Both have different cultures and upbringings. The values system is often mismatched.

Of course, its lovey dovey now. When you 2 settle down, the quarrels will start. From furnishing your home to raising your kid. She quarrels with you, runs off with your precious child to China, you hum. Trust me, you will find your child precious.

very true, better think carefully.

[ddmm]

Well, I’ve seen problems with local couples too, so nothings a given

[Stimsia]

1. When you marry china, you marry the family, china woman are pro family, their family
2. Generally would expect a house in china, so which city is important as to property cost
3. If the woman family is relatively well off, your financial burden may not be as bad

My 2 1/2 c worth